Now, I consider myself an animal lover, but ...

... it's about time the government put some protection in place for researchers, so that they don't have to worry about loony-bird PETA activists flooding their homes with garden hoses or putting information about them and their family members all over the internet.

From the LA Times blog:

New Protections For Animal Researchers

California lawmakers have adopted new protections for animal researchers. Patrick McGreevy reports from Sacramento:

On Friday, three weeks after firebomb attacks on UC Santa Cruz animal researchers and months after vandalism at a UCLA professor's home, state senators unanimously approved an emergency measure to strengthen laws protecting academics against violence and intimidation.

It would create a new misdemeanor charge for entering residential property of an academic researcher with the intent to intimidate or interfere with research.

The measure also would make it a misdemeanor to publish information on the Internet that describes an academic researcher or his or her family members, or gives the location of their residence with the intent that another person use the information to commit violence or make threats.

...

The home of a UCLA researcher incurred more than $20,000 in damage after being flooded by animal-rights activists who inserted a garden hose into the house. An incendiary device destroyed a car outside the home of a UC Santa Cruz researcher and a firebomb exploded nearby on the front porch of another researcher's home.

The attacks are believed to have been orchestrated by activists who regard the use of animals in research as inhumane. Lawmakers say the targeting of academics in such ways is intolerable.

The thing is, humans are just inherently more valuable than animals. I love my sweet and fuzzy kitty cats, and that Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commerical with "Angel" playing in the background rips my heart RIGHT OUT, but I still believe humans have more value (it's because we were created in the image of God and all, and animals weren't.) Not that I think animals should be abused for fun or any such thing (I'm looking at you, two guys from my high school who used to spend weekend nights running down animals for amusement) but if it's a question of, "Should animal research that will ultimately benefit humans continue?" then the answer is yes.

And for goodness sakes, leave the researchers alone. I shudder to think what a setback it would be to have your entire lab destroyed.

Stop making me cry, Michael Phelps!

Mom and I are watching the Olympics, and she said that swimming lessons have jumped as kids are all, "I want to be like Michael Phelps!" And then:

Me: Well, he seems like a nice kid - he might make a good role model. It's better than wanting to be like some of those other celebrities."
Mom: Yeah, like ZZ Top.
Me: Who wants to be like ZZ Top?

It's like Ron, my hair guy said today - "Your mom is funny."

Nevermind.

I keep hoping I'll wake up and find that this has been a very bad dream.

It's been awhile.

I haven't been around for a ridiculously long time. And you guys left a few comments like, "At least let us know you're alive" and I was so busy and so tired that I didn't get around to it, and then I haven't had any comments for awhile, and so I decided that people might actually think I'm dead. I'm not. I'm just up to my ears in OBGYN, and counting the minutes until this one's over. It's disappointing, too - after the fun & educational experience I had with the family doc I worked with during my last rotation, who did a morning of prenatal visits and a day at the hospital delivering and rounding on postpartums and such, I was really looking forward to this OBGYN stuff. I just - I don't know. The people just aren't what I expected (not ALL of them - a few of the residents and attendings are really great.) And while I like all of my fellow students on this rotation, I still miss my 2009 class. This is my first rotation without them (most everyone else is in the class of 2010) and you know, I'd gotten accustomed to their faces. Oh well. At least I do like them, as I said.

But of course, the patients are still there. And y'all know how I love patients. So they make everything worth doing.

I miss writing - this week I'm on Labor & Delivery (days) and next week I'm on Night Float (which is Labor & Delivery at night.) Then the two weeks after that are fairly light as far as clinic/hospital work goes - they kindly give us some time to study for our NBME miniboard. But I may take a few minutes out of those light days to take a break from studying and recount some of the stuff that I've neglected to write about for eleventy billion years. Mwah!

This is a shocker.

Clay Aiken Impregnates 50-year-old Producer Jaymes Foster?

GET. OUT.

I fully expected the AOL link to "Former 'Idol' to be a Daddy?" to be anoter Corey Clark "Look at me, look at meeeee!" story. Holy crap.

It's okay, Shelby, women are havin' babies every day!

I'm having a ball on this rotation. Like I said, I'm working at a little clinic that is close to home, with a family doc that I've known of for what seems like forever. She is truly a selfless person, and just works tirelessly for that little community, and they all love her. In my trek through the different departments, I've encountered lots of M.D.s (and D.O.s) - there are two distinct ends of the spectrum. Some are "physicians", commanding respect and admiration for all that they've accomplished. And some are "docs", who are following a calling outside of themselves, and who meant it when they said in their admissions interview that they wanted to "help people". The "docs" get the respect and admiration anyway, but they'd never go looking for it. My preceptor this semester is the epitome of a Doc.

Family Medicine doctors are trained in OBGYN as well as some surgery, and you can do some, all, or none of those in your practice. My preceptor does OB (which is my next rotation, by the way, so I'm getting a jump start on some things. The Lord takes such good care of me - He's trying to build my confidence so that I won't totally panic before starting the OB rotation. I'm getting a chance to know the OB residents, attendings, and nurses as well, which is good.) On Wednesdays she's on call at the hospitals, so I spend all day with her, rounding on postpartum moms and pregnant women with other medical problems, and being around whenever one of her patients decides to deliver. (Those deliveries, by the way, are so awesome and I love them. They put me on this great natural high, because I love watching God's handiwork enter the world, and the interaction between the mom & dad and the rest of the family always brings a tear or two.)

Last Wednesday, none of the students on the OB rotation were around, because they hadn't started "Night Float" yet - and that's when the students get to be on Labor & Delivery. This week, two students in my class were there doing night float, and they were each assigned to our two laboring moms. When I heard that, my heart just sank - I didn't think they'd let two students in the room.

I went with my preceptor (I'll call her Dr. L) to check the mom's progress, and she was dilated to 10 and fully effaced, so that's when we all gown up. Plus there were some head compressions on the fetal monitor (not as scary as they sound - it just means that the baby is getting into the birth canal) and that's what sent us in there in the first place. I asked the mom if she minded if a student observed, and she said no, and I asked how many she'd be comfortable with, and she said one. My heart was recovering from the earlier sinkage, and had risen to somewhere around my pyloric sphincter, but that made it sink again, because I knew it would be the OB student and not me. I didn't say anything, though, and I chatted with mom & dad for a few minutes about the baby and names and other kids and such, and then started to leave. Mom said, "The student will be you, right?" I said no, and Dad said, "How many students would have to be in here for you to be in here?" I held up two fingers. Mom said that was fine. I asked her approximately 17 more times, and told her it was all about her and that I didn't want her to regret a thing about the experience, and she said that she wanted me there. Yay! So I got to watch that birth, and I actually made Mom, Dad and other family members in the room laugh in those awkward pauses between pushes.

At one point, Mom said that her hair must be a mess. I told her that she was beautiful, and Dad agreed. By this time we could see the top of the baby's head, and a shock of dark hair. So I said, "The baby's hair, on the other hand, is looking a little rough." Then I added, "I think he just has too much product in it." Hardy har har. That made everybody laugh. Obviously, you have to get a feel for the personality of the parents and the family (and your attending doc and resident) before you say something like that, but I am a big fan of humor. If I didn't laugh, I'd cry.

Which brings me to my next point - I was talking to the other two students that are on OB (incidentally, since a class just graduated, the rest of my class are officially fourth-year students. Yay for them!) One of the students asked if I was going to take the Step 2 review course, and I asked when it was. And the other student said, "She's not a 4th year." Which brought tears behind my eyes, because I feel like I don't belong anywhere anymore since I took some time off. One of the things that helped me through the first two hellacious years of medical school was the fact that my class and I were going through it together - I saw it as a kind of "band of brothers" thing, although everybody else in the class may think I'm crazy and I may be the only one who felt that way. But now, my class is in their last year, and I still have this rotation and three more to do. I feel like they've all moved above me and are looking down on me now, so I don't belong with them. But I don't belong in the class below me either, because I barely know them (with a few exceptions). So the camaraderie is gone, and I feel like I don't have any peers that I can talk to. It makes me really sad, actually. I even feel that I can't really talk to close friends in my class in the same way - it's kind of like they're freshmen in college and I'm still in lowly high school, and I just feel stupid. You know, typing this, I realized that I don't even feel right calling the class of 2009 "my class" anymore. So, I've been kind of keeping to myself as much as possible, but it makes me sad. Oh well. Nothing can be done about it now, and everything works out in the end. The Lord has me in the palm of His hand and carries me through my difficult days. I just can't praise Him enough. So I know I'm never truly alone.

And finally, I had a patient today who tried to quote a Bible verse to me to prove that Jesus smoked weed. I'm totally NOT convinced. I do love patients, though - they are so great. That is all.

And I was only interested in the Board of Education, anyway

So West Virginia had their primary election yesterday, as I'm sure everyone knows since for some reason, Hillary Clinton has basically lived here for the past several days (Dear New York - Please take her back. Thanks lots. Love, Kim). I left the clinic where I'm working on some days of the week (a great little rural clinic near my house - I mean, near my real home, my parents' house) and realized it was about 7:17PM. Usually not a problem, but I was about 15 minutes from my polling place, closing at 7:30PM, and I was dead-set on voting because I wanted to vote against the current Board of Education president. Under her public face, she doesn't really care about education - sports are much more worthwhile* - she doesn't stand behind the great teachers of our county (the only ones who care enough about the kids to try to give them a chance at a better life, instead of continuing the welfare cycle.) She says ladylike and professional things at county commission meetings (which are taped, by the way) such as threatening to "cut off the balls" of a guy she disagrees with. Nice, huh? She could have at least said "castrate". And also, whenever she's quoted in our county newspaper Democrat Party spin machine, her grammar makes me want to hide in a corner and never come out.

But that's just my opinion.

I rolled in at about 7:31PM, meeting Mom & Dad on the way, and ran down the hall to my precinct's room.

Me: Am I too late???

Republican pollworker: No, come on in!

Democrat pollworker: She can't vote! The polls are closed!

Republican pollworker: Are those machines still on?

Some guy: Yes ...

Republican pollworker: Then she can vote! Come on in!

Meanwhile, I was doing this interesting in-out-in-out peepee dance in the doorway while they kept giving me conflicting information. The rest of the story - the machine still gave me a ballot and let me submit it, so I voted. A lot of good it did - The Queen of Bad Grammar (With Castration On the Side) got voted in anyway. Drat.

* Sports is ONLY more important if a kid happens to be 6'11 in the 12th grade and headed for a pro career. Otherwise, studying to keep yourself from being ignorant is a fantastic idea.

EDIT - I forgot something about the voting experience. There was a guy at the other machine who said that he couldn't read, so a pollworker was helping him. She asked who he wanted for president, and he said, "The white woman!" Ha.

A Good Week! Yay!

I've seen the best
I've seen the worst
I wouldn't change what I've been through
I've touched the sky
I've hit the wall
But I did what I had to

On my way here
Where I am now
I've learned to fly, I have to want to leave the ground
I've fallen hard
But I've been loved
And in the end it all works out
My faith has conquered fear
On my way here
Clay Aiken, On My Way Here

Part of the lyrics from the first single on his new album that was released Tuesday (May 6th) - I love it. It makes me cry, and it's almost like he's been living my life for the past few years (although I realize he didn't write the song.) Anyway, the whole album is good - his best yet by far, in my opinion. Of course, I will always love that voice, and the production quality and the songs seem better this time around.

So! I finished my first week back at school and I have lots to say, but I just wanted to let y'all know that I have had a GREAT week, and I am loving life right now, and I'm all-over-the-place thankful to my Lord, from whom all good things come. He is so good to me. I'll write more later about what I've been up to this week, for those of you who are interested! But for now, I'm a sleepy girl and I need a nap. :-)

Before I went back to school, I got my hair cut and my hair guy (Ron Wilson from Ron Wilson Hair Gallery, he is fantastic) talked me into highlights:

I decided after awhile that they were too red and were making me look a little washed out (and I'm translucent anyway) so I bought some Perfect 10 at Walmart and darkened the red a little. The red still shows through, but not so much, which is exactly what I wanted. I was scared as I was washing out my Walmart dye, though, because the suds? Were purple. Lavender, actually. So I was terrifed that I'd end up like one of those little ladies with violet hair. To ease your troubled mind - I didn't.

More later.

A quick update

I haven't written for awhile - I had the pain clinic decrease my fentanyl patch from 50 mcg/hr to 37.5 mcg/hr (which is a 25 patch & a 12.5 patch) beginning 4 days ago, and I've been in quite a bit of pain, despite my breakthrough meds. I'm also decreasing my Paxil from 40 mg to zero (I'm down to 10 mg), overlapping it with Prozac so that the short half-life of Paxil doesn't cause SSRI discontinuation syndrome as I cut it down (the whole discontinuation thing TOTALLY sucks - tingly extremities, "electric shocks" through my head, extreme irritability, total insomnia, and crying for no reason.) If you're taking Paxil and want to taper off of it, talk to your doctor about adding 20 mg or so of Prozac during the taper, for a Prozac a day keeps the SSRI discontinuation syndrome away. At least it has for me - I've been decreasing by 10 mg every 2 or 3 weeks, and haven't had problems so far. Except for my anxiety going through the roof.

I start back to school in a week, and I'm so nervous about it. I could really use your prayers, please - because I'm still sick, and I'm so anxious, and sad, and lonely. It gets increasingly harder to put on a face in public, you know? So I haven't written here, because I'm afraid I would end up saying what I actually think. I'm just not one of those people who is all, "I'm fine on my own!" because I'm not. I need Christ. I need Scott. I need my family, and I need friends. I need people to hug me occasionally; to send a quick message to let me know they're thinking of me. I need to be told that things are going to be okay. I don't care if that makes me seem weak, because I AM weak. I'm not sure how else to cry for help - help. Help. Help.

Re: American Idol Results

Whaaaaaaaaaaat?

That is all.

Somebody hold me.

This scary girl would have made a fantastic Clay fan (actually not - she only has one phone, when they were known to use a landline and all cell phones that they could get their hands on.)

Thank goodness for that piece of glass that keeps frustrating her - it keeps people like her from the famous types.

AI7 - Top 8 - Inspirational Songs - Liveblog

Whoa, Paula, the girls are about to bust out. Let's remember the children, okay? What about the chirrun????

They're singing "inspirational songs" - Michael Johns is kicking it off with Dream On by Aerosmith. I really hope he doesn't mess this up because I like him and this is one of my favorite songs. Man, the past did go by like dusk-to-dawn, didn't it Michael? I feel you on that one, buddy. Whoa, falsetto - well, that wasn't too horrible. It didn't upset my cats or anything. Judges - Randy thinks this is an important week because they're telling us who they really are now. Okay. Those other weeks they are just kidding. Randy doesn't buy that Michael is anything like an Aerosmith singer. Michael says he had to do it because he's here living in America and dreams can come true. Paula says - SERIOUSLY, Paula, are we strapless? Are we strapped? Are we in a boudoir? Geez. Paula says he's unbelievable adorable blahdeblah, and something about her Chihuahua. Simon is SLIGHTLY with Randy because he doesn't like when Michael does an impersonation of a rock star. He thinks it was a little wannabe-ish. Ryan says something disturbing about a tight shot and Simon's Chihuahuas, and Paula does the drunken baby seal clap. I thought it was okay, but I wasn't blown away. Sorry Michael Johns - I do love you, though. Mwah.

Syesha Mercado is telling us that Ramiele is exhausted, and that she misses her because she's been her roommate since Hollywood week. Syesha is singing I Believe by Fantasia - because, well, if you believe, then it's a good thing. Wow, that was really good - I liked it even better than Fantasia's, because there's something annoying in Fantastia's voice. Judges - Randy says she took on another tiger this week and that Fantasia was one of the best singers to cross the stage, and that she had this connection thing with the audience that Syesha didn't have. Syesha seeks clarification on this point. Paula says that this is one of her most shining nights. Simon says that to be fair, there are going to be comparisons. He thought she sang it really well, but it lacked this big big wave of emotion that was there when Fantasia sang it (duh, it was when she won the competition.) Anyway, I think Syesha is doing better and that she's probably safe this week.

Jason Castro is doing Over the Rainbow - the version that Israel Kamakawiwo'ole did with a ukulele. Oh, I like this version - this is happy. La, la la - I'm actually enjoying this. Randy says, Jason Castro is back toNIGHT! Paula said something and I missed it. Simon said it was fantastic. I say, Jason was much better than he has been.

Kristy Lee Cook is singing Anyway by Martina McBride - a verse of the song means a lot to her. You know, I really don't think she deserves the Vote for the Worst award. Judges - Randy says there were a few pitch problems, but he loved it, actually. Paula thinks it was her best so far and, for the record, Paula is still mostly in her outfit. Simon thought Kristy was very, very good indeed, and he points out that she looks like a star tonight. See, good for Kristy. I don't think she should win the whole thing, but I don't think she's that bad - I just think she had one bad, bad, very bad week. Onward to David Cook and Carly Smithson.

Uh, who is the guy sitting on Simon's lap? I'm scared, Mommy.

David Cook is singing Innocent by Our Lady Peace. I like this song too - the kiddies are picking good songs tonight. Except no, David, everybody doesn't have a good heart at the end of the day. Sorry, but they don't. And everybody can't sing a good song at the end of the day, but you can, buddy. Paula's dancing - careful, careful - you're in a precarious situation indeed. Judges - Randy didn't get it tonight. Paula says that David is "it". Simon didn't like the performance much - he thought it was a teensy bit pompous. (Bwah! Pot, kettle?) Apparently, the white jacket is pompous. And Simon says David wasn't nearly as good as the past few weeks. Well, I agree with that. But I enjoyed it anyway. Mom thinks David just got out of bed - or, he just came out of that "priceless" commercial.

Carly is singing The Show Must Go On by Queen - life goes on, and blah blah and such. So, that was just okay. I'm not wild about that song. Judges - Randy says it started out good, was pitchy in the middle, and ended up just okay. Paula agrees that her voice is pretty perfect, but she didn't feel the connection with Carly. Simon points out that Carly looks good - heh. He thought it was an unusual choice of song, and oversang it to the point that she kind of fell out of it at the end. (Mom agrees and is shocked that she knew that much. And then Mom offers that Carly might have seen Paula's boobage in the middle of the performance and gotten thrown off - because wouldn't that throw anyone, really?)

David Archuleta had trouble picking a song this week, until he came to Angels - yay! Robbie Williams represents on American Idol (Corrie, my favorite veerd Dutchlandian, I'm thinking of you.) So I'm getting chills here (no offense to Robbie - I get chills with his version too.) And preteen girls everywhere just died of love for this kid. Judges - Randy wants David to check it out. He says that he loved the runs at the end, and thought it was crazy hot. The squealers in the background agree. Paula thought it was fantastic. Simon thought it was the best song choice tonight, although it wasn't his best vocal - he thought it was a bit nasally. Although he does acknowledge that he's nitpicking because David will sail to the next round. You know, I think David seems like a sweet and humble kid, and I won't hate on him if he wins. But I hope some of the others (Brooke, David Cook, Michael Johns, I'm looking at you) make albums so that I can buy them. And I hope they don't pull a Ruben and make an album and then run away forever. That is all. Oh, Brooke is singing Carole King! I hope it's You've Got A Friend. It almost has to be, right?

Yay, I was right, it's You've Got A Friend. I have a family slideshow of me and my cousins to this song - anybody want to see it? I'll post it if you do. It's - well, however long the song is. I think this is absolutely the right type of music for Brooke - like I said last week, I'd like to see her fall into the Patty Griffin/Carole King/Kathleen Edwards/Alison Kraus type. Judges - Randy wasn't jumping up and down but he's not mad at Brooke either. Whew, that's good to know. Paula remembers her sister singing this song, and she thinks Brooke is definitive. Simon says it was like a pleasant walk in the park - original? No. Pleasant? Yes. Hee - I love Simon. I like the tone of Brooke's voice, and I like the song, so I was happy.

Let's see - David Archuleta will get eleventy billion votes and come out at #1. Bottom 3 - Kristy Lee Cook, Jason Castro, Syesha Mercado. I'm really not sure which one will go home, but I think it should be Jason - Kristy and Syesha deserve another week.

Also, if Idol Gives Back ends up a few bucks over budget, let's buy Pauler a cute little wrap or something - please? Her boobage was more than a little distracting tonight - I can't believe there wasn't some kind of tongue-in-cheek joke on camera, knowing that crew.

AI7 - Top 9 Dolly Parton week - liveblog

So I turned on the TV at 8:02 and don't have TiVo at the house (just the apartment) so kill me. Dolly thinks Brooke White is really good. Brooke thinks Dolly is tiny but huge - a legend. *I* think Dolly has had waaaaaay too much plastic surgery and hair dye, but she's a traditional country queen and I love her anyway. We used to clog to one of her bluegrass songs - Travelin' Prayer - I hope someone does that, because it's a great song. Brooke is singing Jolene - ha, this reminds me of a friend in high school who used to sing this song with a different name. I made my poor friends listen to all kinds of music in my car. Anyway, Brooke. I like her voice, I like her earrings, and I like her "front porch-style" band. Not my favorite performance of hers, though. Judges: Randy thinks she had some pitch problems, but could make an album of songs like this. Paula says Brooke is consistent and has an emotional connection with each song she picks. And, lest we forget, Paula reminds Brooke that she.is.Brooke.White. Simon disagrees with Paula and says that the song was devoid of emotion and wasn't one of her best performances. And then he sort of insults the band, which is silly. Mom says that Brooke seems so sweet and that's why she likes her. And I say - well, I like her voice and agree with the sweetness factor. She reminds me of a Patty Griffin-type artist, and I would enjoy an album of songs that are Griffin-ish.

David Cook is doing his own arrangement of Little Sparrow, from one of Dolly's more recent bluegrass albums. He's glad Dolly was willing to listen to him and offer help, and she says that he's great. Yeah - I like his voice a lot, but I'm not sure you can rock up a song called "Little Sparrow". Let's see what the judges say. Randy likes that David has been showing his range in the past few weeks, and says that he delivered another consistent performance. Paula likes David's haircut. And she's never heard a guy do that song. (Very helpful, Paula.) Simon says that if you can make a song about sparrows good, which he did, then congratulations.

It's Ramiele Malubay. Dolly says Ramiele is cute, sweet and scared, and is glad to have finally run into a contestant her size. Ramiele was star-struck, and Dolly thought she sounded cute singing the bouncy song, Do I Ever Cross Your Mind. Sorry, but I'm bored. Randy says that he wasn't jumping up and down but wasn't mad at her either. He gives it a 6.5/10. Paula was worried that Ramiele wasn't going to connect with the audience, but says that she had a great minute and 30 seconds. Simon says it was cute, but forgettable and very reminescent of something seen on a cruise ship. I agree with Simon. I'm pretty much done with Ramiele myself.

Look, it's Idol mail. Some girl sent Jason Castro a bunch of postcards and says that his voice is as soothing as the scene on the front of the card (which is a Colorado postcard, so I'm assuming that's where this girl is from.) Jason picked Traveling Through, and Dolly thinks it's perfect for him because he's funky-looking. At least I think that's what she said. Well, Jason's a little more upbeat this week, at least - he's off the stool. I think this is one of his better performances in the past few weeks. Randy thought it started a little rough, but picked up in the middle - he worked it out with a singer/songwriter vibe. Paula thinks this is one of his stronger performances, too. (Ack, I hate agreeing with Pauler.) Simon didn't like it all and thought it sounded like the same song from before - he didn't think Jason sang it well, and that this type of music doesn't suit him. Well, boo. He was still better than Ramiele.

Carly Smithson is singing Here You Come Again, which I liked when I was little, forgot about it, and then remembered it when Clay Aiken covered it on A Thousand Different Ways. She's killing this - yay, Carly! Mom pronounces her as best thus far. I agree. Randy believes that the performance will be one of the better performances of the night. Paula has this mini freakout about that voice of Carly's and how good it is. Simon thought it was good, not great - audience gives the obligatory boos - and Simon goes on to say that she should have a word with whoever's dressing her because she doesn't look like a star. Mom agrees and says that during the light during her performance, she looked like she was wearing only boots and no pants. Not good.

Kristy Lee Cook and David Archuleta are next. Snore.

David Archuleta is singing Smoky Mountain Memories. He says that the song gave him chills and it reminded him of singing a song about his home and his family. Dolly says that she's trying not to cry so that her false eyelashes will stay in place. Ha. Dolly thinks David is going to be a star. You know, now that I hear that David has a psycho stage dad (not sure if it's true or not) I have more sympathy for him, because that sucks. It's like people who are in medical school because their mom or dad wants them to be there - it's miserable. So, David is sounding good - and this song isn't annoying and preachily liberal (let's all have no possessions! Yay!) Randy says David Archuleta is back, and that his was the best performance of the night. Paula says David has a beautiful aura. Hmm. Simon says that David was on the money with his song choice. I hear the pre-teen "Eeeeeeeeee!" in the background.

Dolly and Kristy have this "you're pretty! No you're pretty!" thing, and then Kristy gets into Coat of Many Colors. Dolly says Kristy's mom is going to be proud of her, and Kristy says she'd rather Dolly be proud of her at this point. [pause for performance] Well, that wasn't bad. I'm not rushing to iTunes to preorder it, but it's okay. Randy says country is her wheelhouse. Paula says she looks beautiful and it was her best performance. Simon deems it as "pleasant but forgettable." Ryan loves Kristy Lee's French pedicure. Ack. Kristy blows a kiss at Simon and says, "Love youuuu!" What was that about?

Syesha Mercado is next with I Will Always Love You, which she will undoubtedly Whitney up. But we shall see.

Dolly thinks that Syesha made a good choice in the way she performed I Will Always Love You - she did a simplistic version like Dolly originally did, and added some Whitney. Syesha is on a piano that someone is playing. I remember in high school, couples had this as "their song" when The Bodyguard was out, and I was always thinking - uh, it's a breakup song, y'all. But nobody ever listens to me. Whoa, that was a heck of a glory note. So I liked the beginning the best. Randy says that she took on the biggest tiger of the night, and he thought she did pretty good, although it's hard for him to hear anyone else sing that. Simon says it's one of the best pop songs ever written. He says he wishes she hadn't burst into the Whitney-fied version at the end, because the beginning was good but she paled to Whitney at the end. When will these people learn, seriously? You don't sing Whitney, Christina, Beyonce, Mariah. You don't, or they aren't going to like you - unless you're better than the aforementioned, and you're not. So don't. I forgot what Paula said - something about velvet and how Syesha is getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Not sure that's a compliment.

Dolly says Michael Johns is nervous, but she can tell he's a real fan. He's all twitterpated about singing one of her songs to her and her liking it. And it looks like he brought her some yellow roses - aww. I ::heart:: him. He's singing It's All Wrong But It's All Right. (I wonder what took up too much time tonight? It's 8:59 and MJ is still singing.) Well, I rather enjoyed that. I'd forgotten about that song, and Michael did a great job. Randy says he keeps bringing it up a notch every week. Paula thinks it's interesting that people like Dolly's songs even though they haven't heard them before, and says it's because they have great melodies and great hooks - and that Michael is a star, a rock star, a blues star, and looks awesome. Simon says ... uh, something positive, but I didn't catch it because Paula was blathering too much.

Ramiele, please go home. Get thee back to wherever you're from - Miami? I think Jason and Kristy will also be bottom 3. Kristy is probably safe because of Vote For the Worst.

Still crazy, but possibly sincere

You know, it just occurred to me that the day that Tom Cruise was boinging around on Oprah's couch, that he may have really just been that excited. Since he and Katie are seemingly still together, and Suri (which I still think sounds like a British apology) exists and doesn't appear to be a robot or an alien. How about that.

I would write about the wonderfully good day that I had on Saturday, in which I actually FELT WELL, and the fact that Jim Sturgess (from 21 and Across the Universe) has gone directly to the #1 position on my Geeky Hollywood Fake Boyfriends List. Don't worry, Scott knows all about this. But it's not a threat to him, given that he's the only person on my Geeky West Virginia Real Boyfriends list.

But I can't elaborate now, because I've just discovered that I'm accidentally watching Jerry Springer: My Boyfriend is a Woman. Ack.

Ultimate Peep Show

Sorry that it's a little late - but I spent all of Easter in the fetal position thanks to my stupid pancreas. Still, this makes me laugh:

Looks like a seedy joint. Thanks Karen!

Also, I didn't blog the last two weeks of Idol because I wasn't home last Tuesday and this Tuesday, I just felt crappy and wasn't in the mood. But how about that David Cook, huh? And Michael Johns - love those two. Love Brooke White as well, but I wish she would have done the whole song with just the piano last night. Oh well. I predict Chikezie goes home - lackluster performance plus the attitude with the judges. Oh, and I am done with David Archuleta - the kid is starting to annoy me with his message songs that should be sung by someone about 10 years older than he is, if they're sung at all. And why did he pick some obscure song from someplace else - Australia? - when he could have picked great 1990 hits as The Shoop Shoop Song (It's In His Kiss) from Cher, Ice Ice Baby, Rico Suave (I mean, you know??), and Mama Said Knock You Out? (I actually like Mama Said Knock You Out, but it's a funny title. "Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years ..."

Dear FOX - a cautionary haiku

Channel which ruins all
"Shall be available soon"?
Best by nine - or else!

I'm having cable trouble. And a massive headache (Mia, what do you DO about these horrific migraine things? They're a new and terrible critter for me to deal with - like the pancreas wasn't enough.) And I'm shamefully hooked on American Idol, and I MUST WATCH IT at 9PM Specific (Family Guy humor, there) to see who gets the boot this week. My guess is that it'll be a country boot, swung out of time to a line of chirpy violins, and will land squarely on the butt of one Kristy Lee Cook. Seriously, don't they have people to advise these kids when they're about commit show suicide?

Anyway, I'm not sure what it is about blogs and haikus, but for some reason, I feel obligated once in awhile to post one once in awhile.

Edit - So dialidol.com says that no one is safe except David Archuleta. Pfffft.

AI7 - Top 12 liveblog

Oooooh, pretty new intro sequence. Oooh, pretty new set. Ooooh, pretty blinky lights! Ricky Miner and the band, in their very own penthouse! Ewwww, Simon needs to button up, buttercup. Ryan agrees with me. For this show, we’re opening the Lennon-McCartney songbook. Sorry, but mehhhh. Don’t kill me, but I never got into The Beatles much. I tried, I really did, but I can’t do it. Randy says these songs will be around forever. Paula says the songs are full of melody, and that some of the contestants can get away with changing it up. Ryan asks Simon if the songs are difficult. He says it depends on the song, duh.

Syesha Mercado is first – her mom is a singer, and she is a “working actress” herself. She’s a student at FIU (? I think that’s what she said.) She’s singing Gotta Get You Into My Life. She’s singing well, but I’m bored. I think this may have been a “safe” song choice for her. Randy: Nice arrangement. Started rough, ended up having fun with it. It was all right. Paula: You know you’re a good singer. It started off pitchy. But midway through you found your zone. You look fantastic and sounded great from the midway through to the end. Simon: I thought it was better than “all right”, Randy! Good choice of song. I thought you looked very very nervous. Kim: Like I said, I’m underwhelmed by these songs, so I’m probably not going to be thrilled by anyone. [Simon] Sorry. [/Simon] Chikezie and Ramiele are making goofy faces. Har harrrr, goofy faces!

Chikezie is next. Chikezie apparently worked at LAX in security. Ryan asks if he ever went through Paula’s bags. He says that they usually switched him to X-ray when she came through. He says Pauler is safe to travel with. Whew, I was wondering. Chikezie was raised on Nigerian cultural music. He’s singing She’s A Woman, accompanied by the patented Chikezie funk. Woo. He’s starting on the edge of the stage with tambourines and other various noisemakers – now he’s up! He’s up, and rocking it out with guitars and whatnot. Well, this is entertaining. The crowd is going berserk. Randy: Chikezie, man! I was thoroughly entertained. Who knew? I loved the arrangement, starting with the whole down south thing, I was looking for the jug – then, who knew you had that falsetto! Paula: You started with O Brother Where Art Thou vibe and ended with a rock vibe – it paid off. Simon: I’m really surprised that I actually agree with these two. (Chikezie is flipping out here.) Simon loves that he has changed within a week, unlike Syesha. Kim: There goes 99 of my cents to iTunes. Now Ryan and Chikezie are doing this tribal dance thing all over the stage, and I think both of them may pass out.

Ramiele Malubay. She worked at a sushi place, filled little little cups with soy sauce, put little little lids on the little little cups, and then smelled like soy sauce. Her family is from the Philippines – her sister plays the guitar and the drums, and everybody else sings. She’s singing In My Life for her “good friends who have left the show already”. Good grief, Ramiele, you knew them for 5 minutes. Randy: That was pretty, but it was also pretty boring. I kept waiting for you to change it up. Paula: You look lovely. It was a safe choice – don’t hold back, because the world needs to see what we hear in your voice. Simon: [Obligatory making fun of Pauler for saying that we need to see what they hear. Has she finished one cup already?] Ramiele, I was bored to tears from the beginning on the stairs to the middle - and the dreary song choice. I expect better than that from you. Kim: That was understated and pretty, but I’m not sure she should have followed Chikezie.

Jason Castro is from Texas & goes to Texas A&M. He spent time with cousins who don’t speak much English, but they loved The Beatles. Tonight he’s singing If I Fell. He’s on the Stool of Seriousness again tonight [tm Shack]. And he’s making some scary faces. Sorry Jason, I like you, but I’m bored. Randy: Listen, I liked it, I didn’t love it. That’s one of my favorite songs of all – the switches into the melody threw me, although I like the falsetto. Paula: I disagree with Randy. I feel your heart, and I think the audience feels your heart. You don’t do all of the riffs and the runs, and you don’t have to because you have an emotional connection with the songs that you pick. Simon: How do you know he has an emotional connection? Anyway, Jason, not as good as last week. Good enough to stay another week. It was very, "student in his room at midnight". So then Ryan and Simon have this banter about leaving the student’s room at midnight, and I don’t really get it, and I’m kind of glad about that. Anybody else get it and want to enlighten me?

Carly Smithson is next. So Amanda Overmyer is her roommate in their new apartments. Her grocery must haves are orange juice, eggs, celery, and ranch. Ew. She lives in San Diego – which is apparently a real chill, laid-back city. She misses Ireland and her family. Awww. She works seven days a week as a bartender and waitress, and sings on the weekends. She’s singing Come Together. Wait, I lied – I do like this song. She just has a fabulous voice – I think I’m always going to like her performances. The audience is nuts. Randy: So Carly, that felt amazing, didn’t it? You know what I loved about that – you were strong, confident, there wasn’t a note out of tune. Stellar performance. Paula: Watching you up there, I felt like I was already watching a star. Simon: Okay, week after week, so far, I think that you have chosen the wrong song. Until now. (Simon is tricky, tricky.) He goes on to say that he is reminded of six years ago, same week, Kelly Clarkson. Which is a good comparison, obviously.

The judges are all so ready for David Cook. David Cook was a bartender in Tulsa, with turquoise fingernails, and that’s really all I got out of that pre-performance clip. Oh also, he’s singing Eleanor Rigby. Well, I guess that sounded all right, and David seemed to be having himself a good time. Randy: See, you can rock out on Idol, you can rock out on The Beatles. Started a little shaky, but when you hit the chorus, it was rocking. Paula: Insert a bunch of horse metaphors here. Dark horse, thoroughbred, etc. (Now Randy and Simon are goofing about a horse description for Simon, and they come up with “donkey”. Ha.) Simon: David, I thought it was brilliant. If this continues as a talent competition rather than a popularity contest, you could win this thing. Kim: *just watching as David lets out the largest inhaled breath that anyone has ever inhaled*

Brooke White is originally from Mesa, Arizona. Before Idol she was a nanny, watching two twin girls. Awww. She was really excited about singing Lennon/McCartney songs, and tonight she’s singing Let It Be. Well, that was a good performance – I’m always impressed when someone can play the piano and sing at the same tme. Randy: I can see you as a kid practicing that on the piano, thinking that some day you’d get on some show and it’d be a big break for you. Is that true? (Brooke is tearful.) Paula: It’s that connection that makes people fall in love again. Or something. Simon: It was one of the best performances of the night. It was believable – there’s a difference between being karaoke and showcasing your talent and being believable. Kim: I think she seems like a genuine person, and she’s talented, and I like her.

Apparently there’s a new venue for the finale – the Nokia theater. And will David Hernandez be there? Since they're talking about old jobs, let’s see if he mentions his job as a gay stripper. Somehow I doubt it. Oh, he worked at a “pizza bistro”. Is that code? He took a Beatles class in college. He’s singing I Saw Her Standing There. Well, he’s definitely a good singer and a good performer, but I’m just not thrilled with his ex-gay stripper role. I just don’t think it goes with the “American Idol” title, that kind of resume. Oops, I missed what Randy said. Paula: You know I love your voice. I feel like you overdid it a little bit. You’re a brilliant singer, but there were too many runs. Simon: Corny, verging on desperate. Not a particularly strong performance – sorry. David says he’ll just turn it down a bit next time, if he has a next time.

Amanda Overmyer says the backstage routine is different for everybody – she’s sitting in the corner thinking about things, some people are freaking out, etc. She’s singing You Can’t Do That, putting her “Amanda” spin on it. She’s having fun with this, and I’m entertained. I can’t understand every word she’s saying, though. The crowd liked it. Randy: That is the true mark of great songs. You took a Beatles song, and took it to a Southern bar and rocked it out. Very cool. Paula: You’re smiling, you’re having fun, you look fantastic. You were great up there. This is the best season of talent – I’m blown away. Simon: I didn’t think it was as good as last week, although you are a breath of fresh air in this competition. And I only understood about 1/3 of what you were saying.

Michael Johns has been in America for 10 years. He coaches some tennis on the side – mental note: take up tennis. He’s singing Across the Universe tonight, which helped him through a painful family experience. Awww. He’s doing a great job with this, but then again, I’m a fan. I think his voice is so great. Judges! Randy: I don’t know if it was your best performance – it was good, but I was waiting for something big to happen. A little sleepy. Paula: I disagree with you again, Randy. It takes an inner confidence to stand in the middle of the stage with a microphone, and just … Michael: Sing? Paula: Just sing. Simon: I’m still a big fan of yours, but it was a little monotonous. You should have done something with the song like Carly. Kim: Not his best performance, but he has a great voice and deserves to be around for a lot longer.

Kristy Lee Cook is from a small town in Oregon. Her family is a big music family – she’s called her mom asking for input on making the song her own. She’s singing a countrified version of Eight Days a Week. It seems like the background music is going too fast for the song. I was thinking that, and then Mom just confirmed it. So I’ll write it – and I think it’s messing up her performance, really. I have no idea what the judges will say to this. Randy: I actually liked the arrangement and the idea of the song, but I felt like you were trying to force some runs in. Half of me liked it, half of me didn’t. Paula: I didn’t enjoy it and I’ll tell you why. I just didn’t get it. Simon: Kristy, I thought it was horrendous – you sounded like Dolly Parton on helium. It was a very brave but probably foolish thing to do. It was like being at one of those ghastly country fairs. Kim: Hey, I’ve clogged at those. Kristy: *I* liked it. Kim: I think she deserves another week, just for taking that risk. It took some guts, and I think the messed-up performance wasn't completely her fault, because like I said earlier, the band seemed to be off. Sorry, band.

It’s David Archuleta and the crowd goes wild. His mom is from Honduras and listens to salsa and merengue. His dad is a jazz musician. Oh, he’s getting a little stressed thinking about singing We Can Work It Out. Somebody give him a hug. Eek, bad note there. Randy: I’m a fan of yours and I like your voice. This week, it felt very forced – I keep hearing the Stevie version in my head. Paula: Not your best week, but you’re a frontrunner. It’s okay though, we love ya. Simon: David, we’ve got 12 people here, all in the same position, so I’m going to treat everybody fairly. That was a mess. At this point in the competition I expect incredible performances and that wasn’t. Kim: Oh, don’t cry yourself to sleep Little David, you’ll be fine – there’s lots of prepubescent girls in America.

The best tonight – Carly, David Cook, Brooke White.

Worst – Kristy Lee Cook, David Hernandez (sorry Katrina!), and Ramiele Malubay or Syesha Mercado.