Mommy! We were in line for the slickie slide, and that mean al Qaeda jumped in front of us!

Okay, I've had just about enough of Ms. Heinz Kerry. In an Pittsburgh Channel article linked on Drudge today, she says:

"The perpetration of certain myths that diplomacy and alliances are a sign of weakness is Neanderthal," Heinz Kerry said. "I never heard of teaching a child to make enemies so they can get along in the playground."

For crying out loud! Is there any comparison between children on a playground, squabbling over who looked at who the wrong way, and defending this country against countless evil people who will attack and kill thousands of innocent people with no warning whatsoever?

Geesh.

That ridiculously simplified analogy of hers, coupled with that "terror as a nuisance" comment from John Kerry earlier this month, is strong evidence that the Kerry/Edwards camp doesn't have a clue when it comes to measures that are necessary for our safety.

I am impressed, though, that she moved up to a word like "Neanderthal". I was really disappointed that someone multi-lingual couldn't come up with better derogatory terms than "scumbag" and "idiot." Oh, and "shove it." Of course, Judith Thurman of The New Yorker was kind enough to defend HK:

I doubt that she knows the literal meaning of "scumbag," but perhaps, after 40 years in America, nearly 13 of them as a political wife, observing how the flaws and contradictions of a personality as complex as hers are melted down for ammunition by the other side, she should have learned it. Close friends attribute her lapses of discretion to "naïveté."

Now, I've only been in America for 25 years (okay, so I've only been on earth for 25 years) and I know what a "scumbag" is. Then again, maybe it's in that part of my brain that stores the information about Laura Bush being a teacher, a librarian, and a mother. While I was filing that information away, Teresa was probably busy nuturing that "complex personality" of hers.

All that aside, I do admire the strategies that the other side seems to be using to bring others around to their way of thinking:

• Strategery* #1: Call anyone who disagrees with you a scumbag or an idiot. Or both. For good measure, tell them to shove it.
• Strategery #2: Upon failure of Strategery #1 to produce the desired response, obtain a big, gooey cream pie. Draw back and throw. (Corollary: Say you were aiming for ideas, not a person. That way, no one can accuse you of having bad aim.)
• Strategery #3: If you are unable to hit aforementioned ideas with nary a morsel of custard, then get behind the wheel of a Cadillac and mow down your detractors when they are standing on a sidewalk.

I guess you have to resort to these "strategeries" if you don't have a logical leg to stand on.

*I adore President Bush, but kudos to Will Ferrell. Strategery is the best non-word ever.