Why does Ferro Roche hate my cat?

I have an obese, arthritic black cat with social anxiety disorder. Well, he's definitely obese and has arthritis due to the obesity, but I diagnosed the social anxiety disorder myself. Anyway, there's only 1.75 people who don't cause him to slink out of the room in horror, and that would be my mom, my dad 25% of the time, and me 50% of the time. If someone rings the doorbell, we don't see him for the rest of the day (he flees under a bed and then goes to sleep.) Even the Domino's commercials scare him.

Last week, I was innocuously watching TNT (all Law & Order, all the time!) and a commercial for Ferro Roche chocolate came on. This evil commercial features a jolly chorus of "Deck the Halls", featuring solos on the ... DOORBELL. So it's about 20 seconds of nothing but doorbell. My poor cat had approximately 14 cardiac arrests.

Why? Why are they trying to kill my cat? Meanwhile, while this atrocity is allowed to proceed, PETA is busy telling me that fish are interesting and intelligent individuals.