A requested edit

I'm removing all of the references to the guy with the porn - apparently that was the wrong thing for me to do, although I certainly never meant to hurt anyone. The writers of most of the blogs that I read air their work/school/family frustrations occasionally, and I thought it was a harmless thing to do, considering my five regular readers are in Holland, the United Kingdom, Maryland, Florida (formerly known as Texas), and Virginia, and that none of them actually know me or the people I mentioned personally.

I'm not sorry for telling the truth, but I am sorry that it was hurtful to people whose opinion of me matters to me. Knowing that someone that I respect is disappointed in me is the one feeling that hurts me the worst, I think. I guess that's always been true - when I was little, all I had to know was that one of my parents was disappointed in me, and that was punishment enough.

Anyway, I know some of you found the saga funny, but I don't think any amount of laughter was worth the hurt that I feel right now, and I wish I wouldn't have posted it in the first place. I told the truth, I tried to protect identities, and I didn't mean any harm.

I really really wish it was July and that I was moving on to medical school, you know, tomorrow.

Also, I think it may be a little while before I post anything again, because I don't really have the heart for it right now. Maybe I'll feel differently tomorrow, but just in case - I may be on hiatus for awhile. If you want to know when I post something new, just email me at KAL97 at aol dot com, and I'll let you know when I'm back to posting.

Thanks for reading, I really appreciate all the emails and the comments I've received so far. :-)

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise (Psalm 51:17 KJV).

Edited to add: On second (or 65th) thought, I suppose I should remove relevant comments as well, since my aim is to make sure that no one that this guy knows finds out what he's up to, or something. If I had to delete your comment, I am so sorry - I feel wrong about doing that, like I'm breaking an amendment here. But I guess I can take comfort in the thought that, if I must break a -ment in this situation, I'm glad it's an amendment and not a Commandment. Being human, I break those often (thank You for Your forgiveness) but in particular this situation, I think I'm okay.

But I'm still really upset about destroying several years of good-reputation building. This day has been horrible. Is it August yet? I'm afraid the forecast for the next seven months looks awkward and chilly. *sigh* Thanks for the comments thus far, they help a little. :-) Off to attempt sleep ...