American Idol, Week 2 of the guys. Why do I feel like I should take a shower? Ick.

1. Mario Vazquez- I need to know more about these people's personalities. Using a pre-performance clip to say, "There's a rumor going around that I'm bald. I'm not bald. Why do you think I'm bald? Maybe someday you'll see that I'm not bald" isn't exactly the way to do it. And why is he wearing a strainer on his head? Is someone going to turn him upside-down and strain out all the suckiness?
   
2. Anwar Robinson - Started with a zzzzzz, ended on a meh. His facial expressions are reminding me of someone, but I don't know who it is yet.
   
3. Joseph Murena – Please, no more chest hair! Joe & Constantine, shirts have that row of little round things with holes in them for a reason. Use them, please! Or if you insist on showing your chest hair, at least stop nestling some sort of chain it in. Ick. I like his voice, but I didn't like the song. And I knew as soon as he walked on the stage that Paula would like it.
   
4. David Gordon – I couldn't hear him because Mom was watching with me, and she giggled at his eyebrows the whole time. "Tee hee hee! They look like they've been plucked to match someone else's eyes! Like maybe that Quahog Power employee, the one who is the reason caveman painted on walls:

   

   Tee hee hee!" V. nice of Ruben Studdard to let Dave borrow his shirt for the evening.
   

5. Constantine Maroulis – Eeeeek. Someone please alert his wardrobe person, because it seems that he's being severely pinched somewhere. Sounds like it's somewhere sensitive, too.
   
6. Scott Savol - Zzzzzzzz.
   
7. Travis Tucker – Thinks he's Usher (or Ursher, if you're Lil' Jon) but seems like a likeable guy. I think it's because he reminds me of Nick Cannon, who played an adorable character in Drumline, which I thought was a great movie. I also knew that Paula would like him before he opened his mouth.
   
8. Nikko Smith - Nikko! What about the chirrun? Think of the chirrun!
   
9. Anthony Federov - Well, Clay 2.0 entertained me. That's one of my favorite songs, and he did a good job with it. He doesn't annoy me at all or anything, but for some reason, I want to punch him. I have no idea why that is. I also know a guy in my RL like that. I just want to slug him, for no apparent reason - he doesn't annoy me at all. Maybe I'm mentally ill.
   
10. Bo Bice - Overrated. I think someone should stand up in the audience next week and go, "Freeeeeeeebirrrrdd!" That would amuse me.

Miscellaneous comments about earrings:

• I could fit my entire head through Mikalah Gordon's earring. And I have a big head.
• Paula was wearing very ornate chandeliers.

Miscellaneous comments not about earrings:

• I saw Janay Castine in the audience, and she looked petrified tonight too. Maybe that's just the way she looks.
• It seems a bunch of people are landing here during a search for Constantine's ElimiDate appearance, because I mentioned both "Constantine" and "ElimiDate" within a couple of days of each other. I have since discovered that yes, Constantine was on ElimiDate. It seems that it was all kinds of creepy and skeezy, and there were some very unfortunate leather pants involved, as well as some dancing that may or may not have unleashed an ancient curse. Hopefully that will help those of you looking for information.
• That Burger King commercial with Cowboy Hootie worries me. Hootie, are you doin' okay? Do you have enough to eat? Why are you doing such a thing? And yes, I know his real name isn't Hootie. But it is to me.

Edited to add - oh my heck, the Snarkywood girls are cracking me up with a trip down memory lane, recalling Pauler Abdul's career. So they posted it a week ago, whatever. I just discovered it, and it's funny, and it goes with my post. So pffffft.