Money contaminated with viracterium toxin!

I read about this first at MuD & PhuD, then saw the link on a later visit to Drudge - the inaccuracy just makes me cringe, so I thought I might as well cringe publicly here.

Contaminated Money

Money that has been contaminated with a virus; it’s a whole new possible direction for bioterrorism. It is a case that the FBI terrorism unit has taken over from state police that involves several cities, including Philadelphia.

As CBS 3’s Tamsen Fadal reports, the unit is trying to determine whether or not a virus was actually placed over money to protect the interest of the Russian mob.

In an exclusive investigation, CBS 3 has obtained documents detailing a bizarre criminal plot involving a virus, suspected drug money, and the Russian mob in Northeast Philadelphia. (emphasis added)

Then later:

Sources tell CBS 3 that tests on the cash counter revealed the presence of a toxin derived from the bacteria staphylococcus.

Somebody wasn't paying attention in biology class. "Bacteria" and "virus" aren't interchangeable terms. Also, it needs to be "a toxin derived from the bacterium staphylococcus" but I'd be happy if they would just not crash two completely different genera together. To my trained(-ish) eye, it makes as much sense as saying:

Money that has been contaminated with a kiwifruit; it’s a whole new possible direction for bioterrorism. It is a case that the FBI terrorism unit has taken over from state police that involves several cities, including Philadelphia.

As CBS 3’s Tamsen Fadal reports, the unit is trying to determine whether or not a kiwifruit was actually placed over money to protect the interest of the Russian mob.

In an exclusive investigation, CBS 3 has obtained documents detailing a bizarre criminal plot involving a kiwifruit, suspected drug money, and the Russian mob in Northeast Philadelphia.

Then later:

Sources tell CBS 3 that tests on the cash counter revealed the presence of a toxin derived from the Spanish hedgehog.

Anyway, I'm not sure how concerned I'm going to be about bioterrorism involving only a toxin, not a toxin-producing organism, because I don't think a toxin would be stable enough to still be harmful on an inanimate surface after a period of time (being a protein, it's sensitive to environmental things like temperature).

I am concerned about something like smallpox, though - and if you're not, get yourself a copy of The Demon in the Freezer by Richard Preston. It's a true story that will make you do crazy things, like not mind if someone kills or locks up a terrorist. It's also written very well and you don't have to be a scientist to understand it.