The other day, I went to Kroger on my way home from the lab (if I'm out of vanilla soymilk* and frozen blueberries, then the universe may implode. And I really don't want something like that on my conscience, you know?) Anyway, for some reason, I left everything in my car when I got home. The reason was probably a very good one - like laziness, or having 27 seconds before I needed to start recording 24 on my ATI All-in-Wonder card - something important such as that. By the time I headed to the garage to unload, Mom had beat me to it - she came crashing through the door, all of my bags in tow, knocking over the garbage can in the process. Then one of the high-quality plastic bags broke, and Mom had this to say about the situation: "Well, shoot fire and save the stupid matches! I was just about to tell you that whatever doofus bagged your groceries made the bags way too heavy."

I watched a can of chunky mixed fruit roll across the floor and come to rest at my toe, and then said, "Uh - I went through the Especially-for-Introverts-Whoopee-I-Don't-Have-to-Make-Small-Talk-With-a-Cashier UScan."

So I bagged them myself. *sniff* My mom called me a doofus, y'all! She insulted my bagging skills. I feel like such a failure.

* I don't drink soymilk because I'm an environmental wacko or a cows' rights lobbyist or anything, I just prefer the taste. That reminds me of the Friends quote from one of the Thanksgiving episodes, when Monica isn't going to bother with a turkey because Phoebe doesn't eat meat, Chandler hates all things Thanksgiving and Rachel is going through her poultry aversion pregnancy phase:

Phoebe: Turkeys are beautiful and intelligent animals!

Joey: No, they're not! They're ugly, and stupid, and delicious!

Heh.