Just the punch lines

As an undergraduate, I joined my school's chapter of Alpha Chi Sigma, a professional chemistry fraternity. I get a publication with fraternity news called The Hexagon, and my favorite page of The Hexagon is the last page, the humor page, called Hot Retorts.

Several issues ago, the editors paid homage to former Grand Editor James Miller and his long-time "Hot Retorts" editor George W. Irving, Jr. by reprinting some items from the 1970s. One section in particular amused me, and I wanted to share:

Only the Punch Lines (various issues, you fill in the rest)

• "No," the giggling one replied, "but he's feeling mine."
• Madam: "That may be, doctor, but I don't like it and neither does his wife."
• "Well," she demurely replied, "When you said I do, you should have said I used to."
• "What," exclaimed the judge. "All twelve of you?"
• "Remember," said the medic, "flies spread disease. Let's keep ours closed."
• " ... he defined an Assistant Dean as a moose in training to be a rat."
• "Not exactly, I was thinking of something that would weaken my conscience."

Anyone care to complete any of these?