American Idol top 8 - Birth Year Songs

I recorded this episode on my capture card, and I can upload mpegs if anybody wants them. Just email me or leave a comment - I don't want to waste time uploading them if it's not going to help anybody. :-) I have to give the people what they want, and - not give the people what they don't want. You know.

Ryan always looks like someone has scrawled illegibly or made drunken drawings all over his clothes. Why is that? And when he said that Nikko Smith was sadly home in St. Louis, I'll bet Nikko made some sort of obscene gesture at the television. So Ryan says that watching American Idol without voting is like starting a conversation with Randy Jackson? You mean, something that people do who are busy from 9:00 - 11:00 P.M. on Tuesdays? Oh, he meant "pointless". I got it.

I HATE this "theme guessing" segment. By showing the baby pictures as hints, I was afraid they were singing lullabies, which was last week, if I'm not mistaken. I must say, I think this is a interesting theme.

1. Nadia Turner - When I Dream by Crystal Gayle
   She looks great, I wish I could pull off an outfit like that. And I liked her performance, but I think it's because I know and like the song already (my parents were big country music fans, and so I probably like more traditional country than most people my age do.) I like Simon's "musical wallpaper" analogy, and I wish the audience would shut the heck up. Sheesh. If Nadia is right and dreams make reality, then I will start cleaning my contact lenses with mustard and George W. Bush will be in my medical school class. (I really should stop falling asleep to Fox News.)
2. Bo Bice - Free Bird by Lynryd Skynyrd
   Okay, I was impressed by his voice for, I think, the first time ever. But that is an awesome song, of course, which may have helped. And I still hate his soul patch. Also, I agree with Simon 97% of the time, but - he tells Bo that he should sing "well known songs" after he finishes Free Bird? Huh? What's more well known than Free Bird?
3. Anwar Robinson - I'll Never Love This Way Again by Dionne Warwick
   This guy has an identical twin and it is a fluffy little kitty. Or as someone at TWoP called him - "Anwar 'Cut Me and I Bleed Puppies' Robinson". He seems like the nicest guy on earth. His performance was typical Anwar - snoozy at the beginning, and ended really good. And then, he said something nonsensical about deeper and better and reaching and better and deeper and better. Or something.

You know, I still don't know which one is Hall and which is Oates.

4. Anthony Federov - Every Time You Go Away by Paul Young
   In that pre-performance clip, he was Clay Aiken crashed into Charles Grigsby. And awwww, look - he loves his brother. Awww. But if he means that this song describes his feelings about his brother - that's a little creepy. Anyway, I like this song a lot, and I think he did a really good job, except for his weird bouncy dancing. He should stop that. During the judges critiques, when Simon said that last week was a low point for Anthony, and Randy interrupted with, "What was the word you used?" Paula's all, "'Low point', stupid!" when he actually meant Simon's descriptive WORD (not words) last week, which was either 'hideous' or 'horrible'. I don't remember which. But I do know that "low point" is two words, so at least I'm ahead of Paula.
5. Vonzell Solomon - Let's Hear it for the Boy by Deniece Williams
   She is too cute! And she appears to be wearing a disco ball, but that's okay. She's had several good weeks in a row - I think she may be surpassing my love of any of the other girls. Wait, let me think about that for a second. Yes, I think she may be. Heh, I like how Randy says it's "crazy" that she's had another great week. He's all, "We thought you were going to suck! What did we know?" Heh. In other news, I don't think she looks like a man anymore.
6. Scott Savol - She's Gone by Hall & Oates
   I cannot stand this guy. I really can't figure out why, either. I think it may be because he reminds me of the guy who annoys me more than anyone else that I know personally. (No, it's not you.) Or maybe it's because he looks like he'd beat up my grandmother in a back alley, steal her money, and totally not be sorry about it. Thankfully, he sounded like deep-fried crap (wait, that would make it better - more like broiled crap) on the verses, and then I think he may have put the final nail in his coffin with that Guarini-like attitude in response to Simon, in which he also managed to insult everybody watching who didn't try out for American Idol. Hurrah! Let's hope so. Also, Paula is waaaaaaay overreacting, IMO.

The Pamela Anderson "Stacked" sitcom is a bad dream, right? It has to be.

7. Carrie Underwood - Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benetar
   I watched the Love is a Battlefield video recently (it's in the extras of the 13 Going On 30 DVD) and oh my goodness, it's the cheesiest thing. Anyway, Carrie. She's going to be safe, of course, but I don't think this was her best week - she sounded mostly good, but I think Anthony has been teaching her how to dance, and she doesn't pull off that "rocker" thing very well. I still like her, though. And I like her jeans a lot, although I couldn't wear the shirt due to my sausage arms. Bleh.

Someone please make that Amityville Horror preview go away immediately. Because I have to sleep sometime, you know.

8. Constantine Maroulis - Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen
   Wow, that was unexpectedly entertaining. And he must have been skeeving out the camera guys during all of the previous weeks' inappropriate staring, because they did a bunch of fast camera-angle switches. That was good, because it limited the exposure time that he could visually give us all STIs. Ick. I still hate his butt-chin, and I can't watch him, but I think his vocals are getting better. And Paula must have not heard the phrase, "if everything is highlighted, then nothing is highlighted." Because if everybody is the best, and the one to beat, then nobody is.