A drunk email that is actually funny

I lied earlier about going back to bed. I'm doing some blog surfing this morning (which should be obvious, heh) and I just found something that is making me giggle like a ridiculous hyena. Except I'm trying not to giggle lest I wake up this cat here, so I may explode momentarily.

Normally I hate drunk email/posts because I think they're stupid - it's like the people who brag about how drunk they were last night or whatever. I never did understand that - I mean, anyone can be a certain amount of drunk, right? It takes more effort to NOT be drunk, so I think that's a state that's more worthy of broadcasting. And drunk posts/emails? "Haha, look at me!!!! I did somthing that any1 over 21 can do legally at anyy time, and now Im' speling stuff rong - haaaaaaaaa!" I just don't get it.

UNLESS.

If a drunk email is like a virtual, misspelled, rambling version of that Soul Ballads infomercial with Peabo Bryson and SomebodyElse, then BY ALL MEANS, it should be distributed far and wide. See?

From Jill at Always Almost Summer:

Let the following email (verbatim, with only the author's full name removed) be a warning to you all. To the ladies, never have a nasty breakup with someone who isn't completely checked in. To the men, try to limit electronic correspondence to your more sober times. And for all of you, set boundaries for your drunk neighbors on what you will let them send from your computer at 2am.

thank you for the email. I think that you are the best person in the world. Thank you very, very, very much for check my voice mail. By the way I have a law suit against you for invasion of privacy. And I think that you are wonderful. And thank you for not finding the pearl necklace because it was on the front porchase. And by the way her name was Sue not Suzzy. I love you and am pround of being your boyfriend. I can not wait until we get marrie and have 12th little j--- l----'s becuase we both know that we wont alot of kids. Dont worry I got your ring in a machine egg. That how much I love you. You have my heart and I love you too. I hope that you come and bring your family to my graduation pary. My mom and dad cant wait to see you. I told them both that you were pergant. And that we were getting married in two months. So I hope you come, or its going to look like you got an aborsion. So you better show up. I love you and cant wait until you come to the party, and if your not going to show please call my mother who loves you, and tell her that your not going to have my baby. Thank you and cant wait until we get married. "Dont worry I can t wait untill I make love to you." thats a quote from, "Boys to Men." I just want to give you that. I cant wait to see you and my parent are so PROUD.

P.S. "You know when I get that sexual feelin I get that sexual feel, And I want to sex you up" and that is MARVIN GAYE.

And I love you and cant wait to tell your parent how I feel.

Because its just the two of us, and we can make it if we try, time just the two of us.

And you know what we are on my own. These quotes are sorry beautiful becuase didnt you know this world is a crazy place, becuase I am going to save the best for last.

Dont worry I will always be your endless love

It's just all so very touching. And am I the only person who forgot that Kenny G was in Color Me Badd?? That totally escaped my brain. Goodnight.

UPDATE: I'm linking to basil's link roundup for today, because I still can't stop giggling at this drunken version of Barry Peabo McRuben, and I want to share. (And, I want traffic. I'll admit it.)