Pope and circumstance

At A Small Victory, they're having a hilarious discussion of possible Pope names. Like Pope OMGWTFLOL!, Pope Duke Nukem, Pope Cliff Claven, Pope Onarope (BWAH), Pope Rocky VI, Pope Optimus Prime (obviously they don't watch Family Guy, because Optimus Prime is Jewish!), Pope Wrestlemania XVI, The Fresh Pope of Bel-Air, Pope Aratzi, Jiffy Pope, Pope-Up Video, Pope Me So Holy (Me Love You Long Time), Pope-ity Doo Dah, Winnie the Pope, Pope E. Longstockings, Pope Sidaisy, and Pope Diddy. They just can't seem to stop. I can only come up with LL Cool Pope and Pope Upthevolume - and I decided that the new pope could sell his name on eBay, which would probably be bought by that casino that buys all the weird stuff, so he'd be Pope GoldenCasino.com. It would be a great fundraiser.

There's also a funny post over there about jokes with realistic endings, stemming from a post at Something Awful (which is pretty profane, just so you know.) A couple of good ones:

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a centipede?
A media circus about the debate over the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.

How do you know when a Frenchman has been near your house?
You don't, really, unless you were there to see him or if one of your neighbors saw him. I wouldn't worry about it, really.

How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

Scott used a joke like this way back when, when he was trying to be all charming and win me over. Ha. It went like this:

Him: Ask me if I'm a tree.
Me: Are you a tree?
Him: No.

So in conclusion, I'll combine the two topics and say: You can pick a pope, and you can pick your nose, but you shouldn't because you may transfer organisms to inanimate surfaces which may then be picked up by someone else, and this could be particularly problematic if you happen to be transiently colonized with the meningococcus, Neisseria meningitidis, especially if it is picked up by an immunocompromised individual.