With loony Clay Aiken fans, who needs cable?

I was flipping through the new issue of TV Guide this morning, and ran across an article about Clay Aiken's trip to tsunami-ravaged Banda Aceh and Meulaboh, Indonesia, as a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador. (TV Guide wouldn't let me link, so I found a related article on BlogCritics.) The TV Guide article is cute, just a few brief comments that Clay wrote regarding the trip and the kids that he worked with, but it reminded me of a blog post that I began a month ago about his Indonesia trip and the posts of his group of fans who have quite clearly gone over to The Bad Place. Although I don't have time to follow the fandom anymore, I keep in touch with some of the people that I met in the early days of Clay's career, and one of them usually alerts me when he has done something that will make the crazy fans weep for pages and pages. Like visiting kids that were devastated by a natural disaster, for example.

So, reading posts by people who put the "-atical" in "fan" entertains me, and makes me feel very sane. I also like to blog about them when they're crazy. Like here. And here. And here, kind of. Keep in mind that these people are not 12, they're adult women who appear normal on the surface. And the Saga of Loonage continueth ...

As I skimmed their posts while Clay was in Indonesia, I saw a lot of different mood swings. They spent pages worrying about him "seeing what water can do" since he's already afraid of it. And they're worried about his immunizations and antimalarial drugs and clean water and such. Ack. I barely have enough time to worry about, you know, people I actually know.

Then they started singing Can You Feel the Love Tonight, and they were all weeping. When they finished with that, they just started saying nonsensical stuff:

The most beautiful man ever ! Look at that face and see his heart.

Oh my goodness, his HEART is on his FACE? That's a serious anatomical defect.

Even when the music is silent, I love the song that he sings.

Okay.

Yesterday, his smile changed thousands of lives ... today his laughter is healing millions of hearts. Tomorrow is a sunrise of love waiting to be.

I'll just be over here, waiting for her to finish that sentence ...

Oh, thank you, thank you, ClackHouse!  It WASN'T a dream after all!  It WAS Clay!  I did SO see him... and hear him!  Good Lord and Taylor!  SINGING!... and SMILING!  He was singing!  THEY were singing!  CNN ! ... the video clips from which the stills were taken... TIVO! We need TIVO!  TIVO!  CNN!  Sentences?  You want whole sentences?

All I remember hearing through my sleeping fog was "An American Idol blah, blah, blah.." I SWEAR that's what they said. AN AMERICAN IDOL.... I was so sure a promo was coming up ... a snippet about Mario ... or Nikko saying his prayers. but NO! It was what I was DREAMING about! Fate made me open my eyes! [Thank you, Fate!] IT waz CLAY! Clay and those beautiful children! I only wish I could play it all back for you from my mind! ....upload it from my memory!

Upload it from my MEMORY?

Now I can hit that snooze alarm with a smile on my face -- secure in the knowledge that there will be clack!. And so proud... so very, very, VERY proud. *sigh* I do love that man so. He makes my heart smile!

They have all morphed into Pauler. They're probably completely understanding her this season when she's telling people that they're "married to the risk". And they have all these creepy links to pictures from Indonesia that say things like, "THIS.IS.LOVE." THAT.IS.CRAZY.

Isn't it ironic that he's allergic to 'nuts'?

Edited to add - poor Eric Olsen should brace himself - he's written an article about Clay's appearance on Dr. Phil's show about bullies, and if he has said anything that seems to be at all derogatory, defensive Clay fans will swarm to his aid. And they may weep, too. They like to do that. Maybe he should go hide out at his summer home ...

Edited again to add that as I already said in a previous post (already linked above) I did used to be a part of the fandom - you know, back in 2003 when he was on American Idol and for a few months thereafter. And I still like his voice. And as I also said in that post, "There are people on that board that are sane. But they're few and far between, and they tend to get lost among the crazy." So I'm not saying that ALL members of that board are crazy. But some DEFINITELY have gone way overboard in their Clay obsession, and that's true regardless of the fact that I used to be part of the fandom and a member of that board. I still think some posters there seriously need help, and I don't mind saying it where it can be read. I've turned off comments temporarily because I expect an influx of traffic.

UPDATE: And an influx of traffic I did get. My eeeeevilness continues here, and that's all I have to say about that.