American Idol Top 5

Ryan Seacrest has dipped his head into a different bottle between the fake theme-guessing segment (whenever that was) and last night's show. And isn't that judge-introducing segment a little unnecessary at this point? It only provides one more opportunity for Randy to go, "Yeeeeeeaaaaaa!", Paula to smile blankly, and Simon to wink at no one in particular. On to the contestants (of which I'll put performance mpegs up tomorrow):

1. Anthony Federov
   Poison Ivy by The Coasters
   Ahhhh, coasters. What I'd use Anthony's CDs for - hardy har har. And what Scott Savol may throw at that special lady in a fit of rage. Wait, Anthony is introducing his performance in a pre-taped video segment - let's listen. Hmm. To summarize his introduction, Anthony is fun, the song is fun, and his goofball self is going to have fun. But luckily, he sings slightly better than he chooses adjectives. I was more entertained by him this time than I have been in a couple of weeks, but nothing spectacular.
   Incomplete by The Backstreet Boys
   Yeah, he definitely does ballads better than he does peppy songs about delayed hypersensitivity reactions and Calamine lotion. And no offense to Randy, but a live individual performance isn't exactly comparable to a recorded, produced song by a group. Just saying.
   
2. Scott Savol
   On Broadway by George Benson
   Like I said, he reminds me of the person who annoys me more than anybody else that I personally know. (Incidentally, Carson Daly annoys me more than any person that I don't actually know.) And I cannot STAND that attitude of his - I despise an attitude of "entitlement", when people think that they are owed something by [insert person(s) or institution(s) here]. Just ugh.
   Something-Or-Other by Brian McKnight, and I'm not going to look up the title because Scott Savol's stupid face is making me too mad. Grrr!
   Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Oh, ugh. I would like him much better if he was somebody else, I think. His attitude makes me want to go all Elvis/Robert Goulet and shoot my TV.
   
3. Vonzell Solomon
   Treat Me Nice by Elvis
   Awww, she's a doll. She gave a good performance, on a song that's pretty meh. Even though I love Elvis, he did sing some pretty goofy songs. But he sang them so well that it didn't matter, as did she. And her earrings look like handcuffs.
   When You Tell Me That You Love Me by errr ... the AI4 Finalists? I think?
   I'm with Vonzell - I'd love to get my hair and makeup done and do a photo shoot. Of course, I'd prefer to be BEHIND the camera. Vonzell is so talented, and she's as cute as a bug, but I'm afraid she'll fall prey to the evil plan to torture me with Scott Savol every week, the Bo/Carrie phenomenon (see also "Sheep, People Are), and displaced tweens who drown their Constantine-less sorrow in Anthony. I hope I'm wrong though. I understand that whole "vote for the worst" plot, you know - somebody crappy ends up winning, ha ha that's funny, but why can't they switch their focus to Anthony? He and Scott are equal as far as the crap factor, but at least Anthony doesn't inspire me to assault high-dollar electronics.
   
4. Bo Bice
   Stand by Me by Ben E. King
   So this song is from the movie Stand by Me, of course - which I remember seeing when I was little and being really freaked out by the leech scene. Ewwww, leeches. I've heard that they're still used in surgery to mop up necrotic tissue - I wonder if that's true? If so, I don't know how they deal with the sterility factor, because you can't exactly throw a leech into an autoclave and then expect it to happily consume dead tissue an hour or so later. But you know what's great about that movie? Well, everything that isn't an annelid, but mainly KIEFER. Kie(EEEEEE!)fer. Aaaaand, Bo is finally finished singing. You know what I think my main problem is with Bo? I feel like the judges are shoving him down my throat - you know, analogous to the media and John Kerry. No matter what he does, it's lauded as being fabulous. Feh.
   Heaven by Los Lonely Boys
   This song is still on the Billboard charts? Anyway, I think it's a great song choice for him. But I'm distracted from the performance, because I have a strong urge to braid his jacket fringe.
   
5. Carrie Underwood
   Trouble by Elvis
   Okay, so that was good. Like Simon said, I'm sure her fans loved it. And there are probably a bunch of guys who want her to mother their children and so on and so forth, blah, yada yada blah.
   Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts
   This is such a beautiful song (although I much prefer Rascal Flatts's version - I love their harmony) and she sang it really well. Heh, Simon called her "robotic". Has he been reading about Carriebot at TWoP?

Scottmustgoscottmustgoscottmustgo!!!!!