I haven't felt like posting for a few days - I am still so sad over the death of my poor little kitty, I can hardly stand it. I've been reading some things online about grief over the loss of a pet, and a lot of them deal with euthanasia, which they say allows the pet to die without pain or fear.

My little sweetie had both when he was killed by the dog, and I just can't stand it. I can't. He was an indoor cat and he was always underfoot, and no matter what anyone says, if you're around an animal a lot, you can tell that they have distinct personalities, and they have these little idiosyncrasies that you get so used to. I would give any of my material possessions if I could go back to Wednesday morning and be outside so that I could have rescued him, instead of being inside doing whatever stupid thing I was doing.

I also feel like a crazy person - yesterday at the lab, I said that I couldn't believe how sad I am, and one of my coworkers said, "I know - it's been what, two days?" Anybody that's been through the loss of a pet - especially such a traumatic loss for the poor little guy - when am I going to feel better? I just don't want to do anything. My little Cinders stole our hearts, and pets love you unconditionally, and we loved him right back.

Thank you guys for all of your kind words on my other post. I feel like there are so few people that I can talk to right now, that wouldn't think I was nuts. And even my other cat, Lucky, is sad. He keeps lying in the spots around the house that Cinders liked to be - he misses his little buddy. They both liked to nap on my bed:

I have it in perspective - you know, I know it's a cat, not a human, and that people are dealing with suffering that is so much worse. I know that. But it doesn't change the fact that my heart is broken right now, and I don't know when my sadness will go away.