Tom Cruise is still nuts, I may be starting to panic, and Discoman is trademarked throughout in an attempt to be funny by overusing the TM symbol

Grieving over a loved pet makes you lose weight. It also makes you feel guilty for starting to feel better. And, it makes you ramble to get your mind on something that doesn't induce guilt. Like Tom Cruise, for example.

Tom Cruise is completely berserko and/or on crack. One of these days, I'm going to write a big post and complain about those pseudo-religious scientologists harping about people who take psychiatric drugs for "fake" illnesses like depression or panic attacks. I'm not in the mood right now, though.

Speaking of panic attacks, see that little countdown in yonder sidebar? Hark! It says 60 days until medical school orientation. I'm excited, in a "I'm gonna throw up" kind of way. I don't want the panic to come back. I don't. I'm afraid that it will, and then I'll screw everything up - kind of like Fred Armisen screwed up SNL. GRRRRRRRR, Fred Armisen. *shakes fist* Anyway, Fred Armisen rage aside - I have to remind myself that the scholarship committee at my school gave me a scholarship because they said I have "excellent potential for a career in medicine". So, either that's true, or I'm a fantastic actress. And I'm totally not a fantastic actress. I know because I was in a trilogy of no-budget indie home movies films (the Discoman™ trilogy) when I was about 12, created/produced/directed by/starring my cousins an elite group of talent, who threw me in front of the camera just because I was there handpicked me to play several characters. Do you know what I did that brands me as a terrible actress? I waved at my grandma. During what was supposed to be the death scene of one of my characters. And also, I can NOT summon a scream of horror on cue. I sound unbelieveably ridiculous.

The trilogy has only been seen by a select group of rural West Virginians, a cluster of film connoisseurs in Florida, and, confusingly, someone in Michigan. And actually, it's pretty funny. The kind of funny that's on purpose. Like the following scene:

Discoman™ and his nemesis Dallas (the washed-up rock star) are about to have a duel, for which Dallas shows up on time whilst Discoman™ is a wee bit tardy

Discoman™: Sorry I'm late, it's kind of cold out here, I had to put a coat on. (toward camera) Remember kids, never go outside, when it's cold, without a coat.
Dallas (toward camera): Yeah, and remember - a rolling stone is worth two in the bush. (Discoman™ counts on his fingers) C'mon Discoman™, let's go down the hill and fight. (They start walking away.)
Discoman™: I will vanquish your life!
Dallas: Ha ha ha, that's good. That's a good one.

Eh, maybe it's one of those things that you have to see - it's all in the delivery. Anyway, I have some Discoman™ footage converted to mpg, but the title character just graduated from law school. And Discoman™, Esq. would TOTALLY take his newly-minted law degree and sue me for copyright infringement. That would be worse than a sketch on SNL that features Fred Armisen. Oh, except that one in the lifeboat - but it's only good because Christopher Walken is in it.

So, will someone tell me if I'm evil because I feel better about losing my kitty? I'm feeling guilty. But I'm still more sane than Tom Cruise, yet not as cool as Discoman™.