Another sad day

I'm mourning another cat - the same dog killed another one of my cats yesterday. (Sugar Ray Lucky, for those who've been reading here for awhile.) I've had him since October 1999 - I wasn't as attached to him as I was to my Cinders that the dog killed on June 1st (because Cinders was a mostly indoor cat, while Luck was mostly outdoor.) But I'm still really sad. Mom heard the dogs barking yesterday and she managed to run them off before they killed Lucky - they had just been tossing him around, bless his little heart. So we put him in the car and rushed to the vet, but he must have had internal injuries because he died in my arms on the way. So at least we got to say goodbye, and we tried to save him. He was just hurt too badly - poor little Lucky.

The dog belongs to some idiot that lives about 2 miles from me and is too irresponsible to keep his murderous and evil dog on his own property. By not keeping his dog on his own property (and we called him after the dog killed Sweetie to tell him to keep the murdering thing tied up) this irresponsible man has caused my parents and me many tears and pain for 6 weeks.

And I don't NEED this - the grief is allowing my panic attacks to slither back in, and I have things to do right now (like a thesis) and medical school starts in less than a month (eeeeek!)

And I realize it's my cats, not my parents (God forbid) or Scott (God forbid again) but still, he was my little buddy, and it's traumatic and it's sad.

I know that the Bible doesn't mention an afterlife for animals - it doesn't talk about God breathing into an animal a living soul like He did for Adam, but if there is some sort of afterlife for animals, then at least Lucky is with his buddy Cinders again. He hasn't been the same since Cinders died.

And wherever they are, I like to think that Cinders did the same cute little attack position when he saw Lucky coming that he did when he heard the window in my bedroom open, because he knew that was how we let Lucky into the house. He would always be so glad to see Luck. And people probably think I'm crazy, but Lucky had been mourning right along with us. He's been obviously sad compared to his personality when Cinders was alive. I like to think that they're somewhere taking a nap together again, or sharing an evening treat of Fancy Feast. Lucky may be telling Cinders, "Meow, meow, meeeooowwww," (which means, "You won't believe how much those people miss you!") They were both such good cats.

You'll remember me
when the west wind moves
upon the fields of barley
You can tell the sun
in his jealous sky
that we walked in fields of gold

If any of y'all are praying people, I'd appreciate your prayers. I really need strength right now to help me do the things I need to do despite my sadness and my anxiety. Without God's help, I'm going to fall flat on my face. He's put me in this position, though, and He won't let that happen. I just pray that I don't resist His help.

I'm sorry to be a downer, guys. I'd really rather be funny. But this evil dog keeps killing my cats and breaking my heart.