See, now, THIS is why I'm going to medical school. This is why I plan to have basically no life outside of school and work for seven years. Nevermind all of that "ease human suffering" blahdeblah crap I told my interviewers - I want to go to medical school so that when I'm a physician, I can give pregnant celebrities with bad health habits unsolicited advice. Yay! It's gonna be SO fulfilling.

Doc suggests Brit lay off the hot stuff

A publicity-seeking Manhattan physician - a total stranger - issued a press release commenting on Brit's rumored bleeding, bad diet and overactive sex life.

"Spotting midterm is grounds for a high-risk pregnancy," upper East Side internist Holly Phillips lectured in the release, which offered the doctor for interviews. "Britney may need to be put on 'pelvic rest,' which may include full-time bed rest and no sex."

Phillips - a Ford model turned Columbia University medical school grad who has dispensed health advice on CNN, Fox News Channel and the "Today" show - added: "Spears needs to slow down on the heavy fast food, and remove herself from the potential damage of second-hand smoke from her husband. Britney's pregnancy can be adversely affected by smoking and second-hand smoke. She should focus on ultimate health and relaxation."

I'm just kidding, of course. I'm going to med school so I can afford things like f2.8L lenses. KIDDING again. Stop looking so horrified.

HT: The Superficial