Headlines that don't mean what you think they mean

I signed on to AOL and saw this headline:

And I thought Rush Limbaugh:

was going to help one of these that was stuck in an assembly line or something:

But then I realized that I horribly misinterpreted the headline. Although that would have been a nice thing for Rushbo to do. And he probably would have, given the opportunity. I know I would. That is all.

Oh, and I'm happy today because my throw pillows match my new couch. Yay! Even though I'm having a very heightened state of anxiety about the whole thing. Holy crap. Look at the counter in yonder sidebar, y'all. LOOK AT IT!!