It's a Wonderful Penal Colony, and an open letter to unfortunate cover artists

You know what I do sometimes? Sometimes, I confuse Frank Capra with Franz Kafka. And they are not the same AT ALL. I didn't even realize my confusion until I was watching I Love the Holidays on VH1 earlier today. So thank you, VH1. Thank you for bringing me to this realization.

Dear Gary Allan,
You have done a seriously screwed-up cover of Best I Ever Had, which is one of my favorite songs (see yonder sidebar for confirmation, as well as an mp3 of the Vertical Horizon version. Oh, let's be wild and crazy - I'll just link the mp3 here too. Right-click and "save as", please. You too, Gary Allan. It would be good for you to hear the better version.) Anyway, Gary Allan, your version is just the opposite of good, my friend. You've just twanged the heck out of it. And I think you should go ahead and apologize to Vertical Horizon - and me, too. You should definitely apologize to me. You could join Jessica Simpson, who is still supposed to be apologizing to Robbie Williams for the horrid cover of Angels. Ack. Well, Gary Allan, I have to go. Don't be mad.
Love, Kim