I think I'm dating Bill Nye the Science Guy, part whatever

The other day, Scott and I went shopping for some shoes for him. His grandma was buying him shoes for Christmas (he's super-practical when it comes to gifts) and he was to buy them and then she'd reimburse him. I was involved because his mom called me and told me to light a fire under his rear end to get him to the mall to pick them out. (Given that Scott hates shopping with the fiery heat of 1,000 suns, this was not easy. But I pulled it off.)

So he found the shoes, tried on the shoes, and was in line to buy the shoes, when out of the blue, he asks me, "Do you know the difference between a gas and a vapor?" I knew that I'd learned this at some point, but needed a minute to think, so I said, "Do YOU?" (Brilliant stalling technique, huh?) And of course he does. A vapor is temperature-dependent - it's a liquid at room temperature, but a gas is a gas no matter the temperature. Just in case you didn't know.

Then I had to know the train of thought that brought him to this mini-quiz - he said that as we were standing there, he had the incorrect thought, "Good grief, these cologne vapors are strong" and then realized that it was room temperature so therefore, they were gases.

And he wonders why I call him a geek. :-)

Whew. Sorry my posts are few and far-between lately - I've been crazy busy. I had to squeeze in all of my Christmas shopping after my last final, which was on December 9th (I also had a large amount of napping to do, which cut into the shopping time.) My cousin got married on Christmas Eve and I was the wedding photographer (if I wasn't in medical school, I would totally want to be a photographer when I grow up. I love, love, love taking pictures of people, especially kids.) And my cousin that got married wasn't just any cousin - he and his sister are like a brother and a sister to me - they are my mom's sister's kids, and she lived beside my grandma, so I grew up with the two of them. I think that's one reason I'm not exactly a COMPLETELY typical only child. Here's a picture of us with our grandpa (who appears to be sleeping) and another cousin, Karen, when we were little. I thought I should include that last part, lest you think I was a wee babe just last week, and that Jonathan got married when he was five:

I think Jon decided to get married on Christmas Eve because it was our grandparents' anniversary, and he's a sentimental sort. He's such a sweet guy - I'm so glad he's happy. Here's my beloved grandparents on one of their wedding anniversaries:

And now, thus begins - The Saga of How I Attempted to Get the Festivus Episode of Seinfeld to Y'all, and Was Struck Down Again and Again, Until Cousin Lisa Came to the Rescue (Everybody Thank Cousin Lisa.)

A few days ago, I told you guys that I had my Windows Media Center set up to record The Strike, an episode of Seinfeld from Season 9 that includes "festivus for the rest of us", crazy Frank Costanza's made-up holiday. So the laptop with the Windows Media Center is at the apartment, and I'm mostly at home until school starts again (although the apartment is less than an hour from home.) When I went to the apartment the other day to spend the night there and then Christmas shop the next day, I discovered that my hard drive was too full and that The Strike didn't record. Boo.

I aired grievances, I shook my fist at my hard drive, and then I aired more grievances, none of which did any good. So I downloaded the episode from Ares, but the only copy I could find can only be described as craptacular. I aired more grievances, shook my fist at Ares, shook my fist at myself for not checking the hard drive space earlier, and then I tore my hair and decided to give up.

But hark! On Christmas, my cousin Lisa happened to bring up Stan the Caddy's site with downloadable Seinfeld videos. I tried to get the episode that way, but it turns out that while I am apparently smart enough to be trained to fix sick people, I am not smart enough to use BitTorrent. Lisa, however, is. So she downloaded the episode and then uploaded it to my server for me. It's in the downloads section now as an .avi (don't forget to right-click and "save as" if you follow that link to the downloads) and I'm working on uploading a mpeg just because I like them better. But you can get the .avi now, if you want - you need to get the free DIVX5 codec to watch it, though, which you can download here.

So everyone thank Cousin Lisa profusely - she's the blonde standing to my left in the picture below, just in case you like to know what people look like before you thank them profusely.

I hope everyone had a good Christmas, and incidentally, I wanted to post about my reasons for continuing to wish people a merry Christmas instead of happy holidays, but Dr. Charles Stanley said it better than I could in his sermon this week. To sum up - Christmas is the day that we observe the birth of Christ, God in the flesh who left Heaven to come to earth where He knew that He would be persecuted, and then would give His life out of love, so that everyone who believes on Him would be saved - because our sin debt is one that only He could pay. He's the one who is responsible for my every breath, my every heartbeat - He's been with me through the scariest and most difficult times of my life, and has given me more opportunities and blessings than I could have ever imagined and far more than I deserve. So no, I will not ignore the observation of His birth while in public just to avoid offending a few. He means more to me than that, and furthermore, the people in my life mean more to me than that - I want those that I love to come to know Him, to find the peace and joy and salvation that only He can give. That's why I haven't given in to the "happy holidays" push. And I was glad to see this on a local McDonald's during the Christmas season:

It's why I carry a camera around everywhere.

Oh, and happy birthday to me yesterday. :-) Mrs. SarahK was nice enough to wish me happy birthday with a link (and it was actually on my birthday, too, unlike my own wish to myself!) And that is all.

UPDATE (1/15/06) - I've deleted the .avi file and replaced it with an mpeg (finally). Right-click and save as here, or get it from my downloads.

Festivus for the rest of us!

I've been seeing lots of searches in my site's statistics for an mpeg of the excellent "Festivus" episode of Seinfeld (which is actually titled The Strike, FYI). I see that it will air on December 22nd on TBS at 9:00 EST, and I have Windows Media Center programmed to record it. I'll upload a mpeg of the episode to my downloads section after I record it, where you can right-click and "save as" to your hearts' content. Because you have to give the people what they want. And hopefully, this little gesture will exclude me from anyone's "airing of grievances" speech around the Festivus pole. :-)

I'll post again when the file is there.

King Kong ...

... or, Will Naomi Watts Ever Stop Running Into Giant, Slobbering Things?

... or, "I Don't Care If You Could Stuff My Entire Body Into Your Nostril, I Love You Anyway!"

... or, Not the Island of Misfit Toys, But the Island of That Which Is Ugly and Mutated (Chernobyl Is Nearby, Perhaps?)

... or, Tis A Quite Stupid Idea to Tick Off A Huge Ape

... or, You Do Vaudeville For Me, I'll Stop Trying To Kill You And I'll Also Bodyslam Some T-Rexes On Your Behalf

So, Scott and I and a couple of guys from his lab went to see King Kong. I thought it was superb - I totally forgot for like, an hour aand a half that I had to pee. That's my movie rating system - I get something huge to drink, and if I don't notice that it is flattening out my bladder rugae about 30-45 minutes post-consumption, then it's a good movie.

Things I didn't like:

• The woman/ape love. C'mon, now. And the stupid girls in front of me that were crying over the woman/ape love - sheesh. I'm not alone on that, SarahK isn't sappy over interspecies pairings either. That had to be a huge blow to poor Adrien Brody's ego. I know I've said that his face makes me sad, but surely he's more appealing than an ape, you know?
• Giant insects that are so big that you have to punch them. I felt like they were all crawling all over me. Eeeeeeeeeeeaggghh.
• People getting their heads eaten.
• A movie version of Miami Vice??? Really???? I guess some things just aren't meant to be understood.

Everything else was good. Scott and the guys from his lab were talking something mathematical about the size of King Kong vs. the size of the dinosaurs and how it was off, but I mostly ignored them.

Oh, and there was a rather loud guy sitting a few rows behind us, but I didn't mind him being loud because he amused me. For instance, at the beginning of the aforementioned scene with the insects that required punching, Loud Guy misjudged the spindly leg as it came into view and said, "Awwwww, man! I KNEW there'd be a big-a** spider!" Heh.

Anyway, well-worth seeing.

40 Random Statements About Chuck Norris - or, How Many Times Can One Post Use the Phrase "Roundhouse Kick"?

I was lurking at some of the sites on my blogroll, and ran across this list on That's Incredicrap, that Macca found on a message board and found it worthy of reposting. And I'm glad he did, because it's so random and amusing. It also shows that someone (whoever the author is) is a leeeetle too obsessed with Chuck Norris. And, it allows me to tell one of my favorite stories as a prologue:

When I was in high school, some friends and I went to see Maverick, and afterwards we were talking about all of the cameos that the movie has. One of my friends added to our discussion by saying, "Oh yeah, and I saw that guy - what's his name? What's the guy's name that plays Chuck Norris?" Bwah.

1. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
2. Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
3. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
4. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
5. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
6. There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who have felt the wrath of Chuck Norris.
7. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
8. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
9. Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
10. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
12. There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris..
13. Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f**k down.
14. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
15. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
16. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
17. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
18. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
19. When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
20. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass, at night.
21. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
22. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
23. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
24. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
25. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
26. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.
27. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
28. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
29. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
30. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
31. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
32. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
33. Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.
34. Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch.".
35. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
36. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
37. Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger, it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in the face that day.
38. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
39. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f**king Indian.
40. Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

On mullets and Bono's musings about Christianity

Patrick Swayze and Bono are having a debate about which one of them invented the mullet. That is hilarious. My favorite part is this quote by Bono:

I read somewhere that people think Patrick Swayze invented the mullet. Someone needs to tell him I invented the mullet.

My vote goes to Bono, just because I like what he says in this article about his faith (I'm going to quote a ridiculous amount of it, because I couldn't seem to find a place to stop.)

The interviewer, Mr. Assayas, begins by asking Bono, Doesn't he think "appalling things" happen when people become religious? Bono counters, "It's a mind-blowing concept that the God who created the Universe might be looking for company, a real relationship with people, but the thing that keeps me on my knees is the difference between Grace and Karma."

The interviewer asks, What's that?

"At the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics — in physical laws — every action is met by an equal or an opposite one," explains Bono. "And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that ... Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff."

The interviewer asks, Like what?

"That's between me and God. But I'd be in big trouble if Karma was going to finally be my judge," says Bono. "It doesn't excuse my mistakes, but I'm holding out for Grace. I'm holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don't have to depend on my own religiosity."

Then the interviewer marvels, "The Son of God who takes away the sins of the world. I wish I could believe in that."

"The point of the death of Christ is that Christ took on the sins of the world, so that what we put out did not come back to us, and that our sinful nature does not reap the obvious death," replies Bono. "It's not our own good works that get us through the gates of Heaven."

The interviewer marvels some more: "That's a great idea, no denying it. Such great hope is wonderful, even though it's close to lunacy, in my view. Christ has His rank among the world's great thinkers. But Son of God, isn't that farfetched?"

Bono comes back, "Look, the secular response to the Christ story always goes like this: He was a great prophet, obviously a very interesting guy, had a lot to say along the lines of other great prophets, be they Elijah, Muhammad, Buddha, or Confucius. But actually Christ doesn't allow you that. He doesn't let you off that hook. Christ says, No. I'm not saying I'm a teacher, don't call me teacher. I'm not saying I'm a prophet. I'm saying: 'I'm the Messiah.' I'm saying: 'I am God incarnate.' ... So what you're left with is either Christ was who He said He was — the Messiah — or a complete nutcase ... The idea that the entire course of civilization for over half of the globe could have its fate changed and turned upside-down by a nutcase, for me that's farfetched."

Besides, I think Bono invented a word up there - "religiosity" - so it follows that he probably invented the mullet as well.

Also, about five of my favorite songs are by U2, and, sorry Patrick, but She's Like the Wind is not among my favorites. No offense Johnny Castle. Although - "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" IS one of my favorite movie lines. Hmm. This is hard.

Incidentally, referring to my previous post - this is not part II.

Stuff that I would have written if I'd had more time throughout the semester, part I

And there may only be a part one, but I'm leaving myself an outlet just in case I get tired of typing.

First of all, on a sad note, Mom and Dad and I had to have our little Frisco put to sleep over the weekend. He had feline leukemia, and it just manifested really fast. He had been having some neurological symptoms for several weeks, and on Saturday morning he had three seizures, so we just decided to end his suffering. Poor little guy. That makes four beloved kitties that my family has lost in a little over a year - starting with having to put Yo-Yo to sleep in October 2004, and then Lucky and Cinders being killed by a dog over the summer, and now Frisco. But with Frisco, we knew it was going to be inevitable. It's still sad, though.

And now, on to some random stuff.

This one time? I went to class, and 50 Cent had followed someone to school. See?

I didn't notice him at first, although he was chillin' all up in the front of the room (but then again, I don't notice much at 8:00 AM - except maybe a nuclear holocaust, IF I'd had my coffee) and the guy who sits beside me (who, if you'll recall, is NOT Clay Aiken) leaned over and said, "Fiddy's in the house." And he was, indeed. All of our professors just lectured around Fiddy all day, whilst he stood there and looked menacing. Quite amusing.

Back in October 2004, I wrote an annoyed post about a grocery store that I passed every day on my drive to and from school/work that had the same thing on their marquee (is that what those things are called?) for at least five years. Aaaaaand, it's still there. Just to update you on the situation. It's also still annoying.

I've seen a few movies.

• The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - very, very good. Tilda Swinton was wonderfully scary as the White Witch, and Scott finally got to see what Turkish Delight is. When Edmund requested Turkish Delight from Scarily White Tilda, Scott (a big fan of fantasy, Lord of the Rings-ish stuff, and probably a bigger fan of C.S. Lewis) leaned over to me, all excited-like, and said, "Finally! I'm going to find out what Turkish Delight is!" I'd like to say that it was all he ever thought it would be and more, but I don't know what he thought it would be.
• Can't Hardly Wait - I know, I KNOW. I can't stand Jennifer Love Hewitt, but Seth Green and Ethan Embry (and a Guns N'Roses song) canceled her out. It was your typical "end of high school" movie, and I thought it was an enjoyable waste of time - I mean, I didn't watch it looking for deep meaning or any such thing. Also, Seth Green is too cute - but I like him better when he's not trying to be all Biggie Smalls with the fake Ebonics. The movie also features one of my favorite songs - Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits (mp3 (right-click and "save as"), lyrics) which took me about 10 listens to like as well as I do, but - what a great song.
• The Brothers Grimm - Crrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaap. That is all.

Huh. I thought I'd seen more movies than that. I guess not.

So, there WILL be a part two, because I have to get myself ready for church - Scott is teaching Bible study tonight, and he's such a great teacher - he really has a gift for it. I'll be back later.

Y'ALL. I successfully finished my first semester of medical school. Woo-freaking-hoo. I have a bunch of stuff to say, but I need some sleep. I meant to post yesterday, but I didn't. Obviously. And then I meant to post today, and I'm just doing a little post-let. But I did come bringing a picture from our medical school's Christmas party:

It's Nichelle and me and Ryan - don't we all look pretty? Well, except for Ryan, who looks [insert gender-appropriate adjective here].

I'll be back later. Watch this space. In the meantime, there's some episodes of My Name is Earl, The Office and Family Guy in my downloads section - right-click and "save as", lest I have to hunt you down and beat you severely.

See y'all tomorrow.

An addendum to The Redneck-iest Christmas Decoration of Them All

So, lest anyone is Nichelle-ish - the picture in my previous post is a deer hanging upside down from a tree, not unlike a dead deer killed by a hunter. Except it's Christmas-y because it's made out of twinkly lights, like the ones that people put in their yard - only those aren't dead. So now you know. ;-)

Nichelle is my best medical school friend (despite the fact that I knew her for about five years prior to starting med school, yet I had the mistaken impression that she didn't like me) and she called me the other night and said, using a tone so serious that it actually made me sit down: "I need to ask you about something." So my mind is reeling, trying to remember if I've done something horrendous that she's about to call me on, and she says, "What is that thing in the picture on your blog?" Hee.

My poor classmates (and poor me, too) - we are all so frazzled with brains of mush that I'm surprised any of us remember our own names at this point.

Also, re: studying for my anatomy final, which is on Monday -

Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhh!

And that is all. Except that it's not all - I am so worried that I won't get the grade on the final that I need in order to pass the class (which is a 68% or something like that.) Because it's a comprehensive final on about 1,000 pages of notes, and we only have a weekend to review for it. Stressful stuff. Makes my pancreas hurt, is what it does. Now, that really is all.

Except for this picture of Nichelle and me (notice how I strategically place myself behind people in pictures, in order to minimize the outright hugeness of my hugely huge head:

The Redneck-iest Christmas Decoration of Them All

Scott sent me an email today with this image attached, and informed me that he needs the Christmas decoration pictured.

I've said it before on related things, and I'll say it again - no, just no. Although, like the deer butt-bell, it's funny. But still, no.

On second thought, seeing how we don't live in the same house and there are no rings on anyone's fingers, he can have whatever crazy redneck Christmas decoration he wants. :-)

You know, this is the kind of thing that would probably amuse Preston, Evil Whitey, Basil, and Chris. That is, if any of them came to visit me anymore. *cries* Actually, Basil and Chris do, so the crying doesn't apply to them. But Evil Whitey and Preston? You MADE ME CRY. How do you like THAT?