I really need to write something so that people won't think I'm dead. I'm not dead, I'm just busy. I have, however, been uploading some mpegs to my downloads section - some Arrested Development, Seinfeld, Family Guy, etc. - would you like a list? Maybe not, but I have to post one to help out the Googlers and Yahooers and various other searchers. So here's what I've uploaded in the past couple of weeks, with episode descriptions unapologetically stolen from tv.com (so don't blame me if they're poorly written.)

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

Ready, Aim, Marry Me
Season 2, episode 10
With the company in dire financial straits and the Bluths no longer the primary shareholders, Michael must turn to old family friend "Uncle" Jack Dorso for financial assistance. Uncle Jack, however, wants something in return. Tobias accidentally uses up a Valentine's Day spa package that was supposed to be for he and Lindsay, and then uses a great deal of poorly chosen words when he tells Michael about it.

S.O.B.s
Season 3, episode 9
The Bluths start a fund raiser to try to retain a new lawyer (after the 'Bob Loblaw Lobs Law Bomb' headline surfaces). George Michael starts attending Maeby's private school, Openings, where he's supposed to be learning to express himself. He uses one of Maeby's rants about her father to write a paper about his feelings toward his own father, which, of course, turns out to be horribly inappropriate (including the line, "No wonder Mom wanted out!") Andy Richter guest stars as quintuplets - Ben Stiller and Andy Dick also have cameos.

COUPLING (the BBC version, not the crappy American version that was on for approximately one and a half episodes. This episode, by the way, is hilarious.)

The Girl With Two Breasts
Season 1, episode 5
Jeff and co. can't take their eyes of a beautiful stranger in their local bar. And the girl can't take her eyes off Jeff. Jeff goes over to talk to her, only to discover that she doesn't speak a word of English, which to Jeff of course is quite a relief. Her interpreter, Alice, tells Jeff she's Israeli, then whisks her away. The next day the girl is back and Jeff attempts to chat her up. With neither speaking a word of the other's language, it is an utter disaster.

FAMILY GUY

Holy Crap
Season 2, episode 2
Peter's dad is forced to retire from the mill. A stern workaholic, the elder Griffin does not take retirement well. When Peter and Lois suggest that he come spend some time with them, Peter's dad agrees, and Peter gets excited at the prospect of bonding with his father. But the new living arrangement doesn't go according to plan: In addition to being a workaholic, Peter's dad is also a control freak. He tells the children what TV shows they can watch, tells Peter how to spend his free time and instructs Lois on how to raise the kids. Peter decides that the best way to get closer to his father is to bring him along to the toy factory, but this plan also backfires. Peter's boss is impressed by the retiree's work ethic and hires him as a foreman, ensuring widespread misery at the plant. After Peter's dad increases work hours and implements strict rules, Peter is desperate to make him quit. Peter kidnaps the pope to ask for his help to convince his dad that he is a good person. The pontiff is also impressed by the retiree's ambition, and offers him yet another job.

Road to Rhode Island
Season 2, episode 13
When Stewie begins causing trouble at his grandparents' house in Palm Springs, Brian offers to go across country to bring him home. Brian gets drunk at the airport and Stewie has lost the airline tickets. Because of this, Brian and Stewie are forced to take a road trip back to Rhode Island. Along the way, they stop at the puppy mill in Austin where Brian was born. After finding out that his mother has died, been stuffed, and now serves as a table, Brian and Stewie manage to steal the table (er, Mom) to give her a proper burial. On the train back to Quahog, Brian and Stewie resolve their problems and sing their "Rhode to Rhode Island" song on the way home.

E. Peterbus Unum
Season 2, episode 17
It's tax refund season, and everyone's cashing in except Peter! Tired of watching his neighbors buy expensive toys, Peter decides to get an accountant that can net him a profit. Satisfied that the new CPA will get him a huge refund, Peter announces to the family that he's going to use the money to put in a pool. While excitement at the Griffin house grows, Peter goes to get a building permit. He's shocked to learn that the city codes do not allow swimming pools. Outraged, Peter digs deeper (so to speak) and learns that the county has no record of his land. Armed with this new info, Peter decides to declare his land the country of Petoria and make himself the president!

To Love and Die in Dixie
Season 3, episode 12
When Chris IDs a convenience store robber, his family is placed in the witness protection program and sent down to the deep south for their own protection. There, Chris befriends a boy named Sam. When the town puts on a reenactment of the Civil War, reinventing history by having the south come away victorious, Peter questions the truth and the town turns against him. Because of Peter's "slander," Sam's father forbids Sam from seeing Chris. Upset, Sam kisses Chris on the mouth. Although flattered, Chris tells Sam that he's doesn't like him in a physical sense. Back in Quahog, A FBI agent accidentally tells the convenience store robber the location of the Griffins. At a party in the deep south, Sam reveals to Chris that he's actually a girl. The robber arrives in the town and is about to kill Chris before the town residents step in and stop the thief.

MY NAME IS EARL

Barn Burner
Season 1, episode 11
When trying to enroll her children into the Right Choice Ranch for troubled youth, Joy is denied enrollment because of a barn burning incident at the hands of a younger Earl. Earl, Randy and Catalina travel to the camp to make amends for the barn burning by building a pen for the camp’s ostrich. Earl learns the real reason behind the barn burning incident and decides that every incident on his list after the fire should be shared by Randy.

O Karma, Where Art Thou?
Season 2, episode 12
When Earl and Randy try to return a stolen wallet they find out taking the money had cost two newlyweds their honeymoon. In an attempt to make things right Earl takes over for the groom at his fast food restaurant. After time Earl finds out the boss is a jerk and Earl wonders how such a man with a luxurious house and beautiful wife could not be affected by the only thing he believes in, karma.

THE OFFICE

Booze Cruise
Season 2, episode 11
Michael takes the entire Dunder-Mufflin staff on a motivational cruise aboard a party boat on Lake Wallenpaupack, but his planned presentation is bogged down by numerous distractions, including a dance contest, limbo, snorkel shots, and the pushy Captain Jack. Also, Jim and Katy's relationship hits the rocks as Roy and Pam finally set a wedding date, which does more than dissapoint Jim, and by the end of the night, Michael's motivational cruise doesn't go completley to waste when he shares a heart-to-heart with one of the workers.

The Injury
Season 2, episode 12
When Michael burns his foot with his George Foreman mini-grill, he requires the entire office staff to work around his new injury. When the workers aren't so keen on obliging, Michael gets angry and calls in a man in a wheelchair to put out the message that disabled people are people too. Meanwhile, Dwight acts stranger than usual, acting really nice and helpful towards Pam. It isn't until the end of the day when everyone realizes that the car accident Dwight was in earlier that day gave him a concussion (but was overshadowed by Michael's dramatization of his own burn), and Jim and Michael immediatley take him to the hospital. Needless to say, Michael doesn't appreciate the extra attention that the doctors and nurses pay Dwight.

SEINFELD

The Gum
Season 7, episode 10
Kramer is active in the re-opening of an old movie theater. He also is keeping an eye on a friend, Lloyd Braun, who's recovering from a nervous breakdown. Lloyd has a pack of Chinese gum that Kramer insists everyone tries. George thinks the cashier short-changed him and meets a former neighbor (who's had a breakdown) and his daughter, Deena. George lets his former neighbor look at his car. Elaine tries to avoid interacting with Lloyd, loses a button from her blouse and reveals herself to Lloyd and Kramer. Because of Elaine's lie, Jerry must wear glasses while around Lloyd. Deena tells George that she thinks he is showing signs of being on the verge of a breakdown. George's car, once owned by Jon Voight in "The Mom & Pop Store", catches fire. Elaine shows more to Lloyd. Jerry gets more gum. George keeps trying to convince Deena he's not crazy.

The Little Kicks
Season 8, episode 4
Elaine reluctantly lets George attend a party she is throwing at work. "Sweet fancy Moses!" exclaims George when he sees Elaine dance. She wonders why her employees lost respect for her. Jerry gets 2 tickets to a premiere of a film. Kramer asks him to get an extra ticket for his friend Brody. Elaine thinks the loss of respect might be due to George's influence, so she makes him off limits to Anna, one of the women George talked to at the party. That "bad boy" image makes him all the more desirable. Jerry and Kramer attend the film with Brody, who begins to make a bootleg tape. Brody gets sick and has Kramer take him home, leaving Jerry to finish making the tape. Jerry worries about the implications when Brody likes him camera work and asks him to do another film. Elaine finds out the truth about her dancing after she tapes herself. Elaine apologizes to Anna and George, which suddenly makes him undesirable. Brody won't meet Jerry's demands for equipment; George takes on the challenge, but gets arrested. Frank comes to bail him out and Elaine lets him know the truth about his son. Elaine's dance becomes a big hit on the streets of New York.

The Package
Season 8, episode 5
Elaine has a rash and looks for a doctor who will treat her; despite her reputation as a difficult patient. Kramer offers Jerry a method to get a refund on his stereo that is two years out of warranty. George discovers the woman at the photo store is looking at his pictures. Jerry refuses delivery of a package with no return address. George thinks that the photo store clerk has stuck a revealing picture of herself in with his pictures. Kramer convinces George to return the compliment and offers to take the photos. Uncle Leo signs for Jerry's package. Elaine tries to lift her medical records. Jerry lets Uncle Leo open the package and there is the sound of an explosion. Leo's stove has exploded but eventually Jerry gets the package and opens it up. It contains his stereo in pieces. Kramer sent the package to him insured; now all they must do is collect the insurance money from the post office. Elaine poses as eyebrowless Uncle Leo's nurse to try a diagnosis for her condition. When that doesn't work she tries to get Kramer (a.k.a. Dr. Van Nostren, from "the clinic") to lift her records. Newman grills Jerry on suspicion of mail fraud. George drops off his film at the photo store and gets a surprising result.

The Chicken Roaster
Season 8, episode 8
Kenny Rogers Roasters opens in the neighborhood and the large neon chicken sign beams right into Kramer's apartment window. Jerry meets an old college buddy who he talks into missing a meeting that it turns out was important enough to get him fired. Elaine makes liberal use of the Peterman expense account. Including a big hat for George, that he tries leaving at the saleswoman's apartment in an attempt to get a second date with her. Elaine tries to justify her expenses to the accounting department and needs the hat. Jerry's college friend becomes manager of the chicken place. Kramer and Jerry switch apartments; however, more than just the apartment gets switched. Newman gets Kramer hooked on Kenny's chicken. Elaine brings George to the saleswoman's apartment, dragging George by the ear, in an attempt to retrieve the hat. Jerry's "friend" Bob sells fake Russian hats, but it doesn't help Elaine. Jerry demands his apartment back when he finds out Kramer is hooked. Elaine goes to Burma in search of Peterman to get her expenses authorized. George keeps scheming to get that second date. The fake Russian hat has an impact on the chicken business.

The Andrea Doria
Season 8, episode 10
George is excited about the new apartment he is going to move into. Elaine is on a blind date, now called a "set-up." Jerry takes Kramer to his self-storage where they discover that Newman has been hiding bags of mail. George finds out he can't get his apartment because the tenant association is going to give it to an Andrea Doria survivor. Elaine is told her date won't be making it because he's been stabbed. Kramer's cold is getting bad and he's not going to the doctor. But he finds a dog with a cold that he volunteers to take to the vet, so he can get medicine for their colds. Jerry tries to get Newman to get rid of the mail; however, he's not interested because he didn't get the transfer to Hawaii. Elaine meets her blind date who gets coffee thrown in his face from another ex-girlfriend. She discovers his problem is that he is a "bad breaker upper." George confronts his rival for the apartment and decides to wage war. Elaine's blind date breaks up with her and tells she has "a big head." From a suggestion by Jerry, George asks for a hearing with the association and tells them the story of his life. Jerry forms an alliance with Newman that will hopefully get him out of his life forever. Jerry tries to get Kramer to take his medication. He discovers that Kramer is taking dog medication and beginning to exhibit the signs of being a dog. The big head comment begins to hold true for Elaine and she makes a comment about jamming "a fork in his forehead." Jerry tries to take Kramer to a real doctor. After Kramer bites Newman's ankle, Jerry offers to deliver the rest of his mail, but is too efficient for the post office. Elaine meets up with her blind date and makes good on her promise. Kramer saves the day. Neither George nor the survivor get the apartment.

The Strike
Season 9, episode 10
George, Elaine and Jerry attend Tim Watley's Hanukkah party. Jerry meets an attractive woman with whom he sets up a date. Elaine meets a man in a bad denim vest and gives him her fake number. George is offended by Watley's gift to him, a donation in his name to a charity. George is also reminded of the Festivus holiday his father created many years ago. Elaine's quest to become a submarine captain and get her free sub sandwich is ruined when she realizes she used her punch card at the party to give her fake number (which spells out "NO ELAINE") to the denim vested guy. Kramer gets word he can return to his job at the bagel place, it seems he has been on strike for the past 12 years. Elaine goes to the place, an off-track betting parlor, that her fake number reaches. She wanted to give them her real number, so when the denim vest guy calls, she can connect with him. The men at the parlor are interested in connecting with her, so she gives the number for the bagel shop where Kramer is working. Jerry meets his date, Gwen, at a restaurant, but it turns out she is two-faced. Sometimes Gwen looks great, other times she's plain; it all depends on the viewer's angle and the lighting. George decides to use the Watley approach when giving out Christmas gifts at Krugers; however, he makes up his own charity called the "Human Fund." Kramer is intrigued by the concept of the Festivus holiday and contacts Frank, who becomes excited at the prospect of rekindling "Festivus for the rest of us." Kramer asks to get the 23rd of December off, when he can't get it, he resumes the strike; meanwhile Elaine waits at the bagel place for a phone call from the denim vest guy. The look of Jerry's girlfriend keeps changing. Jerry decides that Gwen looks best in the back booth at Monk's, something she grows to dislike. George passes out his gifts at Krugers and reaps great rewards. Kramer warns Elaine about the sabotage he committed; the bagel place becomes very steamy and makes Elaine look ugly. Kruger gives George a check for donates $20,000 to the "Human Fund" and later accounting informs him the charity doesn't exist. Gwen finds out from Kramer that Jerry is seeing another woman, Kramer has seen her and she's not Gwen. Gwen thinks Jerry is two-timing her with an ugly woman. George tries to convince Kruger that he passed out the fake gift cards because he didn't want to be ridiculed for the holiday his family traditionally celebrates, Festivus. To prove it, George brings Kruger to his father's Festivus dinner, where everyone comes together.

I've also uploaded some clips from the Highlights of A Hundred episode, which is just a collection of classic stuff from the show. I broke them into the segments "Ambition", "It's About Nothing", "Off the Subject", "Relationships", "Self-Images", and "Sensitivity".

And finally, some miscellaneous stuff, like the airplane scene and the dinner scene from Meet the Parents, and Chappelle's Show's Best of Season 2.

So if you're interested in any of that, get thee to the downloads section and right-click and "save as" to your heart's content.

In an unrelated story, I went to lunch the other day with a couple of guys from my class (unfortunately, I was only invited to keep the two of them from looking gay - heh) but aside from that, I'm feeling really lonely at school this semester. Friendless, annoying, unwanted, and avoided - all of that good stuff. And of course there's the ever-present feeling that I have at school - that stupid feeling. It's as if there's a line that's labeled "Not smart enough to pass medical school classes" and I am lying down on that line with one foot dangling over the side. Ugh. And with that, I'm off to study. Refer to my previous "ugh".