Stupid consumer warnings amuse me. Maybe I should move to Michigan and join the Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch group, so that I could participate in their yearly Wacky Warning Label Contest - which is a perfect plan, except that it would involve moving. And I can't move, y'all.

So, I'll just watch for the winners in January, and be amused from the comfort of my own home. I was amused last year with the toilet brush that was not to be used for personal hygiene, and I'm amused this year with the heat gun that is not to be used for drying hair:

A reminder that a heat gun and paint remover that produces temperatures of 1,000 degrees isn't a good hair dryer is the nation's wackiest warning label, an anti-lawsuit group says.

The label reads: "Do not use this tool as a hair dryer" and was identified by Tom Brunelle of the southwestern Michigan community of Holland. Brunelle will receive $500 as a reward for tracking down the seemingly obvious warning.

Second and third place:

A $250 second prize award goes to Jam Sardar of Grand Rapids for a label on a kitchen knife that warns: "Never try to catch a falling knife."

A $100 third prize goes to Alice Morgan of La Junta, Colo. She found a warning on a cocktail napkin with a map of the waterways around Hilton Head Island, S.C., printed on it that read: "Not to be used for navigation."

The whole article is here.