While perusing I Don't Like You In That Way

I admit it. I like celebrity gossip. I shouldn't - it eats away at my time, it's pointless, people like me help to fuel the ever-expanding Hollywood ego, and so on and so forth. Although I don't care when celebrity couples break up. Figure that one.

So I don't have much time lately to keep up with quality journalism such as Star and the National Enquirer, but I do skim a few blogs when time permits - like I Don't Like You In That Way and The Superficial (Because You're Ugly).

Today I found a couple of things on I Don't Like You In That Way that I felt like rambling about for a few lines. Because that's what I do. First - Tom Cruise is still crazy. I heard some time ago about his insistence that Katie Holmes deliver whatever it is she's carrying (I'm not convinced that it isn't demon spawn, or perhaps The Evil Emperor Zurg. OR, the antichrist) medication-free and scream-free. That alone makes him a raving loon. But today, I read the newest batch of crazy:

In Scientology, mother and child are separated for days after birth to reduce trauma and provide time to recover, says a source. The mother is discouraged from holding or cuddling the child. "The baby should not be bathed or chilled but should be wrapped somewhat tightly in a warm blanket, very soft, and then left alone for a day or so," Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard wrote in a Dec. 20, 1958, bulletin titled "Processing a New Mother."

Left alone for a day or so???? What planet are these people from? Does "the baby should not be bathed or chilled but should be wrapped somewhat tightly in a warm blanket, very soft, and then left alone for a day or so" make any kind of sense to anyone? "Processing of a New Mother" - sounds like "Processing of a Child Endangerment Case" to me. Geez-o-pete.

Moving right along from scary scientologists to scary pictures. Innocently scrolling through I Don't Like You In That Way, I ran face-first into this, with no warning or anything:

Apparently there's several "sources" coming forward that have been solicited online by Clay Aiken on various occasions. So I think that's a little creepy. I also think that the "sources" are more than a little skeevy for running to the National Enquirer with this story, whether it's true or not. I actually think the fourth picture, the one that's inducing your eyeball hemorrhage at this very moment, more resembles Simon Cowell. Regardless (no "ir"), I like the quote that Clay Aiken's publicist gave to Star a few weeks ago, when these rumors started to surface:

Although Aiken has denied being gay in the past, his rep is keeping quiet, but humorous, on the current flap, telling Star: "Clay's on a flying saucer with his alien parents, busy kidnapping monkeys. We cannot comment till he gets home from Pluto."

Hee.

So I start classes again on Monday and I'm not going to be able to finish The Misadventures of an Unfortunately Stripped Clay Aiken (Ack, and Also "The Horror!!"), so would someone please let me know how it ends? I hope it doesn't end with someone being shirtless, but either way, drop me a note. Thanks. Also let me know if Katie Holmes #1) kills crazy Tom during labor and administers her own epidural, or #2) gives birth to something that comes out speaking Martian.

One more thing - these fans of his that are charging that he was marketed as a different person than what he is/was? Sheesh, what a bunch of idiots. It seems they've just arrived from a distant planet and think that celebrities are actually the people that they want the public to think that they are. Don't they know that Clay Aiken comes from American Idol, which is designed to produce a manufactured recording artist, and not a real boy? [/Pinocchio] Good grief.

Update (3/4/06, 7:30 A.M.) - Oh, so it's an elaborate character assassination ploy, orchestrated by drag queen and Clay Aiken impersonator Coti Collins, along with John Paulus. No really, I read that on the Internet, so it has to be true. I am having a hard time seeing the resemblence, between he/she and Clay, though:

So there you go.

Technorati tags: celebrities, Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, scientology, Clay Aiken