An open letter to Leonardo Dicaprio

Dear Leonardo Dicaprio,

An anti-venom is not the same thing as a vaccination. If you were bitten by a black mamba* snake, having someone standing by with a syringe of vaccine would do you no good at all. You should call me first, I'd keep you from saying goofy things like that on national television. But don't go thinking that I'm going to listen to your environmentalist crap, because that's just stupid.

Kisses,
Kim

*When I typed "black mamba" up there, I first typed "black malva", which, as it turns out, is an Aveda shampoo. And it's not at all dangerous - requires no vaccination OR anti-venom. So there you go. Don't confuse your snakes with your shampoo.