Waaaaaaaah!

I didn't go to class this morning (four reasons - main reason, I overslept; also, I was at the hospital kind of late last night because my cousin-who-is-as-close-as-a-brother's wife was in labor (Eeeee! Welcome Samuel Lucas [insert last name here]!); I am so freaking tired and I probably would have slept through class anyway; and Mom was sick last night and I didn't want her to be awake and sick by herself, because I don't like to be left alone when I'm sick. So.)

I didn't go twice last week either, because of that evil GI virus I had and my eeeeeeevil pancreas. And we've only been in class for like, 9 days. I'm feeling guilty and panicky. The panicky part is a given, because I'm on the edge of an anxious breakdown anyway.

I'm not particularly worried about getting behind, because Christy and I have been studying a bit, in the afternoons/evenings, but I'm wondering - what kind of doctor am I even going to be, when my stupid pancreatitis or my anxiety attacks me at every turn; and also, when I want to be there for my family when something is going on, med school be darned? I'm afraid I'm not disciplined enough or something. *sigh*

Also, a couple of friends wanted to take Christy and me out to lunch this afternoon for our birthdays (both are in December, during our Christmas break) and I wasn't there for that, so they'll have to go without me or reschedule. I hope nobody is mad. I hate it when I make people mad. I need a hug.

At least I finally remembered to pay my class dues and avoided our class treasurer's bone-breaking thugs.