AI7 - Top 8 - Inspirational Songs - Liveblog

Whoa, Paula, the girls are about to bust out. Let's remember the children, okay? What about the chirrun????

They're singing "inspirational songs" - Michael Johns is kicking it off with Dream On by Aerosmith. I really hope he doesn't mess this up because I like him and this is one of my favorite songs. Man, the past did go by like dusk-to-dawn, didn't it Michael? I feel you on that one, buddy. Whoa, falsetto - well, that wasn't too horrible. It didn't upset my cats or anything. Judges - Randy thinks this is an important week because they're telling us who they really are now. Okay. Those other weeks they are just kidding. Randy doesn't buy that Michael is anything like an Aerosmith singer. Michael says he had to do it because he's here living in America and dreams can come true. Paula says - SERIOUSLY, Paula, are we strapless? Are we strapped? Are we in a boudoir? Geez. Paula says he's unbelievable adorable blahdeblah, and something about her Chihuahua. Simon is SLIGHTLY with Randy because he doesn't like when Michael does an impersonation of a rock star. He thinks it was a little wannabe-ish. Ryan says something disturbing about a tight shot and Simon's Chihuahuas, and Paula does the drunken baby seal clap. I thought it was okay, but I wasn't blown away. Sorry Michael Johns - I do love you, though. Mwah.

Syesha Mercado is telling us that Ramiele is exhausted, and that she misses her because she's been her roommate since Hollywood week. Syesha is singing I Believe by Fantasia - because, well, if you believe, then it's a good thing. Wow, that was really good - I liked it even better than Fantasia's, because there's something annoying in Fantastia's voice. Judges - Randy says she took on another tiger this week and that Fantasia was one of the best singers to cross the stage, and that she had this connection thing with the audience that Syesha didn't have. Syesha seeks clarification on this point. Paula says that this is one of her most shining nights. Simon says that to be fair, there are going to be comparisons. He thought she sang it really well, but it lacked this big big wave of emotion that was there when Fantasia sang it (duh, it was when she won the competition.) Anyway, I think Syesha is doing better and that she's probably safe this week.

Jason Castro is doing Over the Rainbow - the version that Israel Kamakawiwo'ole did with a ukulele. Oh, I like this version - this is happy. La, la la - I'm actually enjoying this. Randy says, Jason Castro is back toNIGHT! Paula said something and I missed it. Simon said it was fantastic. I say, Jason was much better than he has been.

Kristy Lee Cook is singing Anyway by Martina McBride - a verse of the song means a lot to her. You know, I really don't think she deserves the Vote for the Worst award. Judges - Randy says there were a few pitch problems, but he loved it, actually. Paula thinks it was her best so far and, for the record, Paula is still mostly in her outfit. Simon thought Kristy was very, very good indeed, and he points out that she looks like a star tonight. See, good for Kristy. I don't think she should win the whole thing, but I don't think she's that bad - I just think she had one bad, bad, very bad week. Onward to David Cook and Carly Smithson.

Uh, who is the guy sitting on Simon's lap? I'm scared, Mommy.

David Cook is singing Innocent by Our Lady Peace. I like this song too - the kiddies are picking good songs tonight. Except no, David, everybody doesn't have a good heart at the end of the day. Sorry, but they don't. And everybody can't sing a good song at the end of the day, but you can, buddy. Paula's dancing - careful, careful - you're in a precarious situation indeed. Judges - Randy didn't get it tonight. Paula says that David is "it". Simon didn't like the performance much - he thought it was a teensy bit pompous. (Bwah! Pot, kettle?) Apparently, the white jacket is pompous. And Simon says David wasn't nearly as good as the past few weeks. Well, I agree with that. But I enjoyed it anyway. Mom thinks David just got out of bed - or, he just came out of that "priceless" commercial.

Carly is singing The Show Must Go On by Queen - life goes on, and blah blah and such. So, that was just okay. I'm not wild about that song. Judges - Randy says it started out good, was pitchy in the middle, and ended up just okay. Paula agrees that her voice is pretty perfect, but she didn't feel the connection with Carly. Simon points out that Carly looks good - heh. He thought it was an unusual choice of song, and oversang it to the point that she kind of fell out of it at the end. (Mom agrees and is shocked that she knew that much. And then Mom offers that Carly might have seen Paula's boobage in the middle of the performance and gotten thrown off - because wouldn't that throw anyone, really?)

David Archuleta had trouble picking a song this week, until he came to Angels - yay! Robbie Williams represents on American Idol (Corrie, my favorite veerd Dutchlandian, I'm thinking of you.) So I'm getting chills here (no offense to Robbie - I get chills with his version too.) And preteen girls everywhere just died of love for this kid. Judges - Randy wants David to check it out. He says that he loved the runs at the end, and thought it was crazy hot. The squealers in the background agree. Paula thought it was fantastic. Simon thought it was the best song choice tonight, although it wasn't his best vocal - he thought it was a bit nasally. Although he does acknowledge that he's nitpicking because David will sail to the next round. You know, I think David seems like a sweet and humble kid, and I won't hate on him if he wins. But I hope some of the others (Brooke, David Cook, Michael Johns, I'm looking at you) make albums so that I can buy them. And I hope they don't pull a Ruben and make an album and then run away forever. That is all. Oh, Brooke is singing Carole King! I hope it's You've Got A Friend. It almost has to be, right?

Yay, I was right, it's You've Got A Friend. I have a family slideshow of me and my cousins to this song - anybody want to see it? I'll post it if you do. It's - well, however long the song is. I think this is absolutely the right type of music for Brooke - like I said last week, I'd like to see her fall into the Patty Griffin/Carole King/Kathleen Edwards/Alison Kraus type. Judges - Randy wasn't jumping up and down but he's not mad at Brooke either. Whew, that's good to know. Paula remembers her sister singing this song, and she thinks Brooke is definitive. Simon says it was like a pleasant walk in the park - original? No. Pleasant? Yes. Hee - I love Simon. I like the tone of Brooke's voice, and I like the song, so I was happy.

Let's see - David Archuleta will get eleventy billion votes and come out at #1. Bottom 3 - Kristy Lee Cook, Jason Castro, Syesha Mercado. I'm really not sure which one will go home, but I think it should be Jason - Kristy and Syesha deserve another week.

Also, if Idol Gives Back ends up a few bucks over budget, let's buy Pauler a cute little wrap or something - please? Her boobage was more than a little distracting tonight - I can't believe there wasn't some kind of tongue-in-cheek joke on camera, knowing that crew.

AI7 - Top 9 Dolly Parton week - liveblog

So I turned on the TV at 8:02 and don't have TiVo at the house (just the apartment) so kill me. Dolly thinks Brooke White is really good. Brooke thinks Dolly is tiny but huge - a legend. *I* think Dolly has had waaaaaay too much plastic surgery and hair dye, but she's a traditional country queen and I love her anyway. We used to clog to one of her bluegrass songs - Travelin' Prayer - I hope someone does that, because it's a great song. Brooke is singing Jolene - ha, this reminds me of a friend in high school who used to sing this song with a different name. I made my poor friends listen to all kinds of music in my car. Anyway, Brooke. I like her voice, I like her earrings, and I like her "front porch-style" band. Not my favorite performance of hers, though. Judges: Randy thinks she had some pitch problems, but could make an album of songs like this. Paula says Brooke is consistent and has an emotional connection with each song she picks. And, lest we forget, Paula reminds Brooke that she.is.Brooke.White. Simon disagrees with Paula and says that the song was devoid of emotion and wasn't one of her best performances. And then he sort of insults the band, which is silly. Mom says that Brooke seems so sweet and that's why she likes her. And I say - well, I like her voice and agree with the sweetness factor. She reminds me of a Patty Griffin-type artist, and I would enjoy an album of songs that are Griffin-ish.

David Cook is doing his own arrangement of Little Sparrow, from one of Dolly's more recent bluegrass albums. He's glad Dolly was willing to listen to him and offer help, and she says that he's great. Yeah - I like his voice a lot, but I'm not sure you can rock up a song called "Little Sparrow". Let's see what the judges say. Randy likes that David has been showing his range in the past few weeks, and says that he delivered another consistent performance. Paula likes David's haircut. And she's never heard a guy do that song. (Very helpful, Paula.) Simon says that if you can make a song about sparrows good, which he did, then congratulations.

It's Ramiele Malubay. Dolly says Ramiele is cute, sweet and scared, and is glad to have finally run into a contestant her size. Ramiele was star-struck, and Dolly thought she sounded cute singing the bouncy song, Do I Ever Cross Your Mind. Sorry, but I'm bored. Randy says that he wasn't jumping up and down but wasn't mad at her either. He gives it a 6.5/10. Paula was worried that Ramiele wasn't going to connect with the audience, but says that she had a great minute and 30 seconds. Simon says it was cute, but forgettable and very reminescent of something seen on a cruise ship. I agree with Simon. I'm pretty much done with Ramiele myself.

Look, it's Idol mail. Some girl sent Jason Castro a bunch of postcards and says that his voice is as soothing as the scene on the front of the card (which is a Colorado postcard, so I'm assuming that's where this girl is from.) Jason picked Traveling Through, and Dolly thinks it's perfect for him because he's funky-looking. At least I think that's what she said. Well, Jason's a little more upbeat this week, at least - he's off the stool. I think this is one of his better performances in the past few weeks. Randy thought it started a little rough, but picked up in the middle - he worked it out with a singer/songwriter vibe. Paula thinks this is one of his stronger performances, too. (Ack, I hate agreeing with Pauler.) Simon didn't like it all and thought it sounded like the same song from before - he didn't think Jason sang it well, and that this type of music doesn't suit him. Well, boo. He was still better than Ramiele.

Carly Smithson is singing Here You Come Again, which I liked when I was little, forgot about it, and then remembered it when Clay Aiken covered it on A Thousand Different Ways. She's killing this - yay, Carly! Mom pronounces her as best thus far. I agree. Randy believes that the performance will be one of the better performances of the night. Paula has this mini freakout about that voice of Carly's and how good it is. Simon thought it was good, not great - audience gives the obligatory boos - and Simon goes on to say that she should have a word with whoever's dressing her because she doesn't look like a star. Mom agrees and says that during the light during her performance, she looked like she was wearing only boots and no pants. Not good.

Kristy Lee Cook and David Archuleta are next. Snore.

David Archuleta is singing Smoky Mountain Memories. He says that the song gave him chills and it reminded him of singing a song about his home and his family. Dolly says that she's trying not to cry so that her false eyelashes will stay in place. Ha. Dolly thinks David is going to be a star. You know, now that I hear that David has a psycho stage dad (not sure if it's true or not) I have more sympathy for him, because that sucks. It's like people who are in medical school because their mom or dad wants them to be there - it's miserable. So, David is sounding good - and this song isn't annoying and preachily liberal (let's all have no possessions! Yay!) Randy says David Archuleta is back, and that his was the best performance of the night. Paula says David has a beautiful aura. Hmm. Simon says that David was on the money with his song choice. I hear the pre-teen "Eeeeeeeeee!" in the background.

Dolly and Kristy have this "you're pretty! No you're pretty!" thing, and then Kristy gets into Coat of Many Colors. Dolly says Kristy's mom is going to be proud of her, and Kristy says she'd rather Dolly be proud of her at this point. [pause for performance] Well, that wasn't bad. I'm not rushing to iTunes to preorder it, but it's okay. Randy says country is her wheelhouse. Paula says she looks beautiful and it was her best performance. Simon deems it as "pleasant but forgettable." Ryan loves Kristy Lee's French pedicure. Ack. Kristy blows a kiss at Simon and says, "Love youuuu!" What was that about?

Syesha Mercado is next with I Will Always Love You, which she will undoubtedly Whitney up. But we shall see.

Dolly thinks that Syesha made a good choice in the way she performed I Will Always Love You - she did a simplistic version like Dolly originally did, and added some Whitney. Syesha is on a piano that someone is playing. I remember in high school, couples had this as "their song" when The Bodyguard was out, and I was always thinking - uh, it's a breakup song, y'all. But nobody ever listens to me. Whoa, that was a heck of a glory note. So I liked the beginning the best. Randy says that she took on the biggest tiger of the night, and he thought she did pretty good, although it's hard for him to hear anyone else sing that. Simon says it's one of the best pop songs ever written. He says he wishes she hadn't burst into the Whitney-fied version at the end, because the beginning was good but she paled to Whitney at the end. When will these people learn, seriously? You don't sing Whitney, Christina, Beyonce, Mariah. You don't, or they aren't going to like you - unless you're better than the aforementioned, and you're not. So don't. I forgot what Paula said - something about velvet and how Syesha is getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Not sure that's a compliment.

Dolly says Michael Johns is nervous, but she can tell he's a real fan. He's all twitterpated about singing one of her songs to her and her liking it. And it looks like he brought her some yellow roses - aww. I ::heart:: him. He's singing It's All Wrong But It's All Right. (I wonder what took up too much time tonight? It's 8:59 and MJ is still singing.) Well, I rather enjoyed that. I'd forgotten about that song, and Michael did a great job. Randy says he keeps bringing it up a notch every week. Paula thinks it's interesting that people like Dolly's songs even though they haven't heard them before, and says it's because they have great melodies and great hooks - and that Michael is a star, a rock star, a blues star, and looks awesome. Simon says ... uh, something positive, but I didn't catch it because Paula was blathering too much.

Ramiele, please go home. Get thee back to wherever you're from - Miami? I think Jason and Kristy will also be bottom 3. Kristy is probably safe because of Vote For the Worst.

Dear FOX - a cautionary haiku

Channel which ruins all
"Shall be available soon"?
Best by nine - or else!

I'm having cable trouble. And a massive headache (Mia, what do you DO about these horrific migraine things? They're a new and terrible critter for me to deal with - like the pancreas wasn't enough.) And I'm shamefully hooked on American Idol, and I MUST WATCH IT at 9PM Specific (Family Guy humor, there) to see who gets the boot this week. My guess is that it'll be a country boot, swung out of time to a line of chirpy violins, and will land squarely on the butt of one Kristy Lee Cook. Seriously, don't they have people to advise these kids when they're about commit show suicide?

Anyway, I'm not sure what it is about blogs and haikus, but for some reason, I feel obligated once in awhile to post one once in awhile.

Edit - So dialidol.com says that no one is safe except David Archuleta. Pfffft.

AI7 - Top 12 liveblog

Oooooh, pretty new intro sequence. Oooh, pretty new set. Ooooh, pretty blinky lights! Ricky Miner and the band, in their very own penthouse! Ewwww, Simon needs to button up, buttercup. Ryan agrees with me. For this show, we’re opening the Lennon-McCartney songbook. Sorry, but mehhhh. Don’t kill me, but I never got into The Beatles much. I tried, I really did, but I can’t do it. Randy says these songs will be around forever. Paula says the songs are full of melody, and that some of the contestants can get away with changing it up. Ryan asks Simon if the songs are difficult. He says it depends on the song, duh.

Syesha Mercado is first – her mom is a singer, and she is a “working actress” herself. She’s a student at FIU (? I think that’s what she said.) She’s singing Gotta Get You Into My Life. She’s singing well, but I’m bored. I think this may have been a “safe” song choice for her. Randy: Nice arrangement. Started rough, ended up having fun with it. It was all right. Paula: You know you’re a good singer. It started off pitchy. But midway through you found your zone. You look fantastic and sounded great from the midway through to the end. Simon: I thought it was better than “all right”, Randy! Good choice of song. I thought you looked very very nervous. Kim: Like I said, I’m underwhelmed by these songs, so I’m probably not going to be thrilled by anyone. [Simon] Sorry. [/Simon] Chikezie and Ramiele are making goofy faces. Har harrrr, goofy faces!

Chikezie is next. Chikezie apparently worked at LAX in security. Ryan asks if he ever went through Paula’s bags. He says that they usually switched him to X-ray when she came through. He says Pauler is safe to travel with. Whew, I was wondering. Chikezie was raised on Nigerian cultural music. He’s singing She’s A Woman, accompanied by the patented Chikezie funk. Woo. He’s starting on the edge of the stage with tambourines and other various noisemakers – now he’s up! He’s up, and rocking it out with guitars and whatnot. Well, this is entertaining. The crowd is going berserk. Randy: Chikezie, man! I was thoroughly entertained. Who knew? I loved the arrangement, starting with the whole down south thing, I was looking for the jug – then, who knew you had that falsetto! Paula: You started with O Brother Where Art Thou vibe and ended with a rock vibe – it paid off. Simon: I’m really surprised that I actually agree with these two. (Chikezie is flipping out here.) Simon loves that he has changed within a week, unlike Syesha. Kim: There goes 99 of my cents to iTunes. Now Ryan and Chikezie are doing this tribal dance thing all over the stage, and I think both of them may pass out.

Ramiele Malubay. She worked at a sushi place, filled little little cups with soy sauce, put little little lids on the little little cups, and then smelled like soy sauce. Her family is from the Philippines – her sister plays the guitar and the drums, and everybody else sings. She’s singing In My Life for her “good friends who have left the show already”. Good grief, Ramiele, you knew them for 5 minutes. Randy: That was pretty, but it was also pretty boring. I kept waiting for you to change it up. Paula: You look lovely. It was a safe choice – don’t hold back, because the world needs to see what we hear in your voice. Simon: [Obligatory making fun of Pauler for saying that we need to see what they hear. Has she finished one cup already?] Ramiele, I was bored to tears from the beginning on the stairs to the middle - and the dreary song choice. I expect better than that from you. Kim: That was understated and pretty, but I’m not sure she should have followed Chikezie.

Jason Castro is from Texas & goes to Texas A&M. He spent time with cousins who don’t speak much English, but they loved The Beatles. Tonight he’s singing If I Fell. He’s on the Stool of Seriousness again tonight [tm Shack]. And he’s making some scary faces. Sorry Jason, I like you, but I’m bored. Randy: Listen, I liked it, I didn’t love it. That’s one of my favorite songs of all – the switches into the melody threw me, although I like the falsetto. Paula: I disagree with Randy. I feel your heart, and I think the audience feels your heart. You don’t do all of the riffs and the runs, and you don’t have to because you have an emotional connection with the songs that you pick. Simon: How do you know he has an emotional connection? Anyway, Jason, not as good as last week. Good enough to stay another week. It was very, "student in his room at midnight". So then Ryan and Simon have this banter about leaving the student’s room at midnight, and I don’t really get it, and I’m kind of glad about that. Anybody else get it and want to enlighten me?

Carly Smithson is next. So Amanda Overmyer is her roommate in their new apartments. Her grocery must haves are orange juice, eggs, celery, and ranch. Ew. She lives in San Diego – which is apparently a real chill, laid-back city. She misses Ireland and her family. Awww. She works seven days a week as a bartender and waitress, and sings on the weekends. She’s singing Come Together. Wait, I lied – I do like this song. She just has a fabulous voice – I think I’m always going to like her performances. The audience is nuts. Randy: So Carly, that felt amazing, didn’t it? You know what I loved about that – you were strong, confident, there wasn’t a note out of tune. Stellar performance. Paula: Watching you up there, I felt like I was already watching a star. Simon: Okay, week after week, so far, I think that you have chosen the wrong song. Until now. (Simon is tricky, tricky.) He goes on to say that he is reminded of six years ago, same week, Kelly Clarkson. Which is a good comparison, obviously.

The judges are all so ready for David Cook. David Cook was a bartender in Tulsa, with turquoise fingernails, and that’s really all I got out of that pre-performance clip. Oh also, he’s singing Eleanor Rigby. Well, I guess that sounded all right, and David seemed to be having himself a good time. Randy: See, you can rock out on Idol, you can rock out on The Beatles. Started a little shaky, but when you hit the chorus, it was rocking. Paula: Insert a bunch of horse metaphors here. Dark horse, thoroughbred, etc. (Now Randy and Simon are goofing about a horse description for Simon, and they come up with “donkey”. Ha.) Simon: David, I thought it was brilliant. If this continues as a talent competition rather than a popularity contest, you could win this thing. Kim: *just watching as David lets out the largest inhaled breath that anyone has ever inhaled*

Brooke White is originally from Mesa, Arizona. Before Idol she was a nanny, watching two twin girls. Awww. She was really excited about singing Lennon/McCartney songs, and tonight she’s singing Let It Be. Well, that was a good performance – I’m always impressed when someone can play the piano and sing at the same tme. Randy: I can see you as a kid practicing that on the piano, thinking that some day you’d get on some show and it’d be a big break for you. Is that true? (Brooke is tearful.) Paula: It’s that connection that makes people fall in love again. Or something. Simon: It was one of the best performances of the night. It was believable – there’s a difference between being karaoke and showcasing your talent and being believable. Kim: I think she seems like a genuine person, and she’s talented, and I like her.

Apparently there’s a new venue for the finale – the Nokia theater. And will David Hernandez be there? Since they're talking about old jobs, let’s see if he mentions his job as a gay stripper. Somehow I doubt it. Oh, he worked at a “pizza bistro”. Is that code? He took a Beatles class in college. He’s singing I Saw Her Standing There. Well, he’s definitely a good singer and a good performer, but I’m just not thrilled with his ex-gay stripper role. I just don’t think it goes with the “American Idol” title, that kind of resume. Oops, I missed what Randy said. Paula: You know I love your voice. I feel like you overdid it a little bit. You’re a brilliant singer, but there were too many runs. Simon: Corny, verging on desperate. Not a particularly strong performance – sorry. David says he’ll just turn it down a bit next time, if he has a next time.

Amanda Overmyer says the backstage routine is different for everybody – she’s sitting in the corner thinking about things, some people are freaking out, etc. She’s singing You Can’t Do That, putting her “Amanda” spin on it. She’s having fun with this, and I’m entertained. I can’t understand every word she’s saying, though. The crowd liked it. Randy: That is the true mark of great songs. You took a Beatles song, and took it to a Southern bar and rocked it out. Very cool. Paula: You’re smiling, you’re having fun, you look fantastic. You were great up there. This is the best season of talent – I’m blown away. Simon: I didn’t think it was as good as last week, although you are a breath of fresh air in this competition. And I only understood about 1/3 of what you were saying.

Michael Johns has been in America for 10 years. He coaches some tennis on the side – mental note: take up tennis. He’s singing Across the Universe tonight, which helped him through a painful family experience. Awww. He’s doing a great job with this, but then again, I’m a fan. I think his voice is so great. Judges! Randy: I don’t know if it was your best performance – it was good, but I was waiting for something big to happen. A little sleepy. Paula: I disagree with you again, Randy. It takes an inner confidence to stand in the middle of the stage with a microphone, and just … Michael: Sing? Paula: Just sing. Simon: I’m still a big fan of yours, but it was a little monotonous. You should have done something with the song like Carly. Kim: Not his best performance, but he has a great voice and deserves to be around for a lot longer.

Kristy Lee Cook is from a small town in Oregon. Her family is a big music family – she’s called her mom asking for input on making the song her own. She’s singing a countrified version of Eight Days a Week. It seems like the background music is going too fast for the song. I was thinking that, and then Mom just confirmed it. So I’ll write it – and I think it’s messing up her performance, really. I have no idea what the judges will say to this. Randy: I actually liked the arrangement and the idea of the song, but I felt like you were trying to force some runs in. Half of me liked it, half of me didn’t. Paula: I didn’t enjoy it and I’ll tell you why. I just didn’t get it. Simon: Kristy, I thought it was horrendous – you sounded like Dolly Parton on helium. It was a very brave but probably foolish thing to do. It was like being at one of those ghastly country fairs. Kim: Hey, I’ve clogged at those. Kristy: *I* liked it. Kim: I think she deserves another week, just for taking that risk. It took some guts, and I think the messed-up performance wasn't completely her fault, because like I said earlier, the band seemed to be off. Sorry, band.

It’s David Archuleta and the crowd goes wild. His mom is from Honduras and listens to salsa and merengue. His dad is a jazz musician. Oh, he’s getting a little stressed thinking about singing We Can Work It Out. Somebody give him a hug. Eek, bad note there. Randy: I’m a fan of yours and I like your voice. This week, it felt very forced – I keep hearing the Stevie version in my head. Paula: Not your best week, but you’re a frontrunner. It’s okay though, we love ya. Simon: David, we’ve got 12 people here, all in the same position, so I’m going to treat everybody fairly. That was a mess. At this point in the competition I expect incredible performances and that wasn’t. Kim: Oh, don’t cry yourself to sleep Little David, you’ll be fine – there’s lots of prepubescent girls in America.

The best tonight – Carly, David Cook, Brooke White.

Worst – Kristy Lee Cook, David Hernandez (sorry Katrina!), and Ramiele Malubay or Syesha Mercado.

AI7 - Top 8 girls liveblog

I was on the wrong channel! The WRONG CHANNEL! I'm obviously an idiot. Go read SarahK's account instead - it's funnier anyway.

I never care what Ryan says at the beginning. I'm sorry. Ryan says that some people are saying that Randy's too nice this season. Randy says the guys were just good last night, and the girls better bring it tonight. Pauler says that the 80s had lots of good songs, as well as ugly clothes and weird makeup. Simon says everyone needs to step it up and that no one is safe.

Asia'h Epperson - she was an extra in a movie, and was roller skating, and she totally fell and totally busted her butt and everyone was totally laughing. Haaaaaa. She's wearing a pair of unfortunate high-waisted and tight pants and singing I Wanna Dance With Somebody by ... dum dum dum ... Whitney Houston. I'm totally distracted by her pants - are they like, braided at the top? Pauler likes it - or, as Mom says, "She's celebrating early." Randy name-drops and says that it was a tall order that she took on, but that Asia'h showed that she should be here because it was HOT, baby. Paula: "You're picking big songs, and that one time you were sick, and now you're well, and you nailed it." Kim: "Thanks for the quick recap of the last few weeks of Asia'h's life, Paula." Simon: It wasn't as good as Whitney (duh) but that she deserves a spot in the top 12. Kim: I agree. But those pants should be burnt immediately, along with all T-shirts that say, "Trust me, I'm a doctor." I HATE those.

Ryan's in the red-rum with Kady Malloy. She wigged last week because she thought she was going home. (Pretty good assumption, since she was in the bottom two.) She was sooooo embarrassed when ... in 9th grade she sang Beautiful by Christina Aguilera (she was in NINTH GRADE when that song came out??) and her music teacher hated it, and then she tripped over some cords and the sound equipment came crashing down and made that feedback sound - "Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Kady is singing Who Wants to Live Forever by Queen. That was pretty - I think it was her best week so far. Randy: Interesting song choice, and she did a nice job of it. Pretty good. Paula: Best performance to date. Kim: Ack! I hate when I agree with Paula. Paula: The softness on your natural voice is where the magic is for you. Kim: I don't agree with that. Simon: It's all a bit gloomy and somber when you sing, like a Stepford Wife. Ryan wants to know why she comes off cute and relaxed on the tapes, but lacks personality when she sings. Simon says that he's made his point and Ryan should get over it.

Amanda is next. Somehow, she burnt down a pool. And - shocker! She's singing a Joan Jett song. I Hate Myself For Loving You. I love this song, but she's boring me with it. I predict a no-likey from the judges - "kareoke" is going to come out of someone's mouth. Mom: Is she wearing two wigs, a light one and a dark one on top? Kim: Uh, no. Randy: Oh, there! There's the Amanda we loved when we saw her. Paula: Your face is beautiful, I love your hair, we're still in love with you. Simon: If I'm being honest, I loved it. One of the best girl performances of this part of the competition. Kim: Whoops, missed that one. I still wasn't blown away, although I did like her scarf a lot. And I wish she'd just dye all of her hair black.

This one time, Carly walked around the corner from work to a bar and was talking to her friend who was a little inebriated (I'm betting Carly was too) and Carly got her leg stuck in a railing. So her inebriated friend brought out butter, oil, and bathroom soap and greased up her leg. Carly is singing I Drove All Night by Roy Orbison, Cyndi Lauper, Celine Dion, what-have-you. Another of my favorites (the Roy Orbison version in particular), and she's doing a great job with it. I think I ::heart:: this girl. Has anybody bought her old CD yet? I'm thinking about it, but I was wondering if it was any good. Kim: Yaaaaay! Randy: You know Carly, you keep smashing it every week, all the high notes - boom boom boom! Dude, another great performance. Paula: Let me tell you something dude, dude, dude. You are like a dependable dog. Hardy har har. You look great, you're having a great time, and there aren't enough adjectives to describe your singing. Simon: I didn't like it. Wrong song choice. I liked it when you sang that Chaka Khan song or whatever. Carly's mom is in the audience, and has met her husband for the 2nd time this week. Ack. Mom has met Scott like, 5,326 times. But I don't think you can say "met" after the first time, can you? Anyway.

Kristy Lee Cook was most embarrassed when she was seven - she used to pretend she was a dog. Growling, barking on her hands and knees, and for some reason, her parents bought her her own dog bowl. Yipes. I don't know if I would have told that story on national television. Kristy is singing one of my favorite songs ever in the world - Faithfully by Journey. It takes me right back to junior high dances and crying in the bleachers over stupid boys. She did an okay job with it - I'm not loading up iTunes to buy the single. Randy: [is all over himself because it's Journey] I actually liked it, because it sounded country, and you could have a single out of that. Paula agrees that it could be a country hit. Kim: Uh, not sure if I agree with that. Paula: I have nothing but positivity. Kim: And vodka. Simon: Your biggest problem is that you're forgettable - I can see you coming in 10th. Kristy: That's all right with me! Randy: I think the guys loved you. Kim: Danny and David Hernandez totally didn't love her.

Ramiele Malubay was embarrassed when she was in the 5th grade and she rode her pink bicycle to a guy's house that she liked, and she left her picture - on the porch, I guess? Anyway, the guy and his mom came outside and laughed and the picture. Awww, boys are so stupid. Ramiele suddenly has more hair on the left side (her left) and I like it much better. She's singing Against All Odds (Take a Look At Me Now) by Phil Collins. I wish I had the guts to get cute highlights like that. Randy: Another big song, big vocals - I thought it was a good vocal, but you got mad vocals, get your confidence back. It's like you're thinking while you're singing. Paula: You have such a beautiful face. And a beautiful voice that comes out of you, and - I'm not going to say colors - textures! - blabber, blabber, blah. Blahdee, blahdee, bloo. You deserve to be in the top 12. Simon: It was good because you're so little and cute. But it actually sounded very old fashioned. I didn't hear that big money note I would have liked, and I'm not jumping out of my chair. Sorry. Kim: I was swaying in my chair. Danny Noreiga is wearing Ramiele's glasses. Dis.Turb.Ing.

The judges are discussing moths, melon balls and yogurt. And iTunes. Okay. Brooke White told some random guy at church that she was tired and hungry and wanted to go home - and it wasn't her dad. Happened to us all at some point. I told a woman that I didn't know that she HAD to buy me something once. She didn't buy it, but my actual mom probably did. Anyway, Brooke. She's sitting on the edge of the stage and singing an interesting version of Love is a Battlefield. I really like this. I think she has a unique voice. Randy: I liked that you were just sitting there singing and someone else was playing the guitar. It was definitely very interesting - I'm not sure you brought anything new to the song. Paula doesn't understand what's going on here - I guess she means the squabbling over whether she choreographed this video or not. I really don't remember what Paula said after that. Simon liked it because it was totally different. Mom: Paula is totally soused, Ollie. (Ollie is my cat. He does not know who Paula is, what soused means, or when tonight is.)

Syesha Mercado wrote a "Do you love me, yes or no?" letter, included a piece of strawberry bubble gum for good measure. The boy told the teacher and ate the bubble gum. I'm guessing it was a "no". So Syesha is singing Saving All My Love For You by Whitney Houston. I think she should have dressed up a little more for that song. Mom: She's looking for votes for legs, not voice. Judges are running out of time. Three good(s), three yeses. Actually, four good(s). Although I was a little bored with it, I have to say.

The guys get the Spirit Stick this week. But as far as the girls go - my favorites this week are Carly and Brooke. Going home - I'm going with Kady and Kristy Lee.

Randy says the girls worked it out tonight. Simon is not happy because the girls were not nearly as good as the guys - I agree. Simon says his favorite performance was Amanda - I totally do not agree, although I usually like her. Blake Lewis is singing tomorrow on the results show? Yay! Blake, my possible movie buddy!

AI7 - Top 10 Girls - "De-Wayne, find me a big beautiful shell!"

It's the 182nd hour of American Idol this week, and Ryan is happy to be there, as usual. It's the girls! It's the guys! David Archuleta still has his head! That's good! It's the judges! Ryan says something about Randy's 13 1/2 shoes (13 1/2? Where have I heard that before? Hmmm) on Regis and Kelly. I guess I missed that one - shucks. Apparently said shoes were purple. Paula is wearing a very confusing top. Ryan says that Simon is nervous with his "single shot" and Simon gives a smile that is actually kind of cute. What the heck, I'll admit it - I do find him cute. Hear that everybody? I think Simon Cowell is a little cute. All right, now it's out. Randy says that the girls should show improvement because the "guys were on fire." Paula says that the guys were very, very, very, very, very,very,very veryveryvery good and that she has something different she'd like to do to each one of them (we already know David Archuleta's - behead him and hang him from her rearview mirror.) Simon says the other contestants should be "miserable" after David Archueta's performance. He says this is constructive criticism to help motivate the others when someone else does really well. Off with the show.

Carly Smithson owns a tattoo shop with her husband, and works at an Irish Bar around the corner. The bar is her home away from home and everyone working there is Irish. She loves her house, loves to clean, loves to cook, loves everything. Loves the stage, too. She's singing the great Crazy On You by the greater Heart, and either her shirt is one of those with blousy extra material in the front, or she's having a distracting amount of floppage from lack of undergarments. Wow, she's doing really well, and Heart stuff is tough to sing (I know, because I wail this one and Magic Man in my car, and I do it HORRIBLY.) Randy says, "Yo yo yo." Thought I should make that an exact quote. Randy says the beginning was rough for him, and that singers with big horses like herself have trouble with the lower notes because they can belt out the bigger notes. Wait, I think he said "voices" not "horses". Big voices would make more sense here. Anyway, Pauler says she's glad Carly is healthy. That Pauler, always positive. She can tell that Carly loves Heart. Simon observes that Carly is panting, and Randy says it's because it was a big song. Simon says that he's not sure Carly has found the right song, but that she has an incredible voice and is "one heck of a singer, this girl." He says she's the girl to beat. She says that whatever happens, she got to sing Crazy On You on American Idol. I really really like her. Ryan says it's good to see her healthy, too. Geez, she must have been a lot of sick. Off to the break - Minute Maid products are growing on bushes! Wheee!

Ryan reminds us what we're watching, and pimps the iTunes performance downloads (already done some of that, Ryan). Syesha Mercado did commercials in Miami, and she remembers one line - "DE-Wayne, find me a big beautiful shell!" That just hits my funny bone for some reason. I'm not sure which is more hilarious - the line and her delivery of it, or "DE-Wayne" with his cheesy two-index-finger point and his "All right, baby." Anyway, Syesha's changing up Me & Mrs. Jones to, obviously, Me & MR. Jones by Billy Paul, which has the most boring lyrics ever. It's like, "I'm going to get up at 6AM, eat some Cheerioooooooos, take a shower and dry my haaaaaaaaaair. Then I'll get to woooooooork at about 8:00 ..." You see where I'm going here. So the song is snoozy except for the glory note at the end, which rudely woke me up from my nap. Randy tells Syesha that she ain't givin' what she's got. It was just a taste of what she's got. She's got more than she's givin'. I know she's got a big beautiful shell and she ain't givin' that. Pauler says that when she has power, it's great, but she falls off on the softer notes. She likes the interpretation of what Syesha did. Huh? Simon points out that the song wasn't written for a girl to sing, and therefore, it was a silly thing for her to sing. (Since when does that matter?) So nobody liked the song choice, including me. I do like her scarf, though. Pree-tee.

Brooke White went to beauty school! And then she dropped out! She's a beauty school dropout, just like Frenchie! (But she wants us to know that she graduated high school, so don't worry.) She's sitting on the Stool of Seriousness (tm Shack) which is also the Stool of I'm Playing A Guitar, and singing You're So Vain (heh - I first typed "Mr. Vain" which is a totally different song by Culture Beat.) Does Brooke remind anyone else of that contestant on America's Next Top Model a few cycles ago - the one with really light blue eyes that had some disease that would make her go blind? I think her name was Amanda. Anyway, Brooke. It's a good vocal, and I think it's cute that she's jumping up and down on her chair. Uh oh, I see a Pretty Pony Princess Pageant Queen up in the balcony - it's either Alaina or Kady, I can't tell them apart up close, much less from a distance. Whoever it is is wearing a super-shiny blue prom dress. Back to Brooke - Randy says that she always had this whole Carly Simon vibe anyway, so it was a good song for her. Then Randy is all, "You were looking at the judges' table a lot - maybe at another male judge who isn't me?????" Hardy har har. Paula says it's the perfect song choice for her because it suits her and her voice. She brought familiarity and everyone was "digging it". Simon says that he "absolutely loved it." Well, good for Brooke. I think I like her.

Why is it that every time someone mentions the band, Ryan has to pop up out of nowhere and go, "RICKY MINER AND THE BAAAAAAAND!"

It's Ramile Malubay and she and Ryan have a little conversation in which she's speaking her native language (sorry, I didn't catch the name of it) and Ryan is speaking Spanish. Ramiele was so very sad at elimination last week, because she lost her roommate and Colton Berry, who was part of a foursome that apparently existed. Ramiele has been Polynesian dancing for 12 years, and demonstrates the correct way to hula (MUCH less creepy than when Sanjaya did that last season.) Ramiele is singing Don't Leave Me This Way by Thelma Houston. I love this song, so I'm all grooving at my computer here. It's ugly, you wouldn't want to see it. I like Ramiele a lot - I think she's got some real talent. But I'm not wild about her haircut. Randy is weirded out by the song choice, and thought it was "just really okay." Paula says that Ramiele is one to beat, but that she powered through and it was kind of the same notes over and over. Okay, I can get that. Paula also says that Ramiele didn't get to perform her magic. Maybe she forgot her rabbit and her cape. Simon shockingly agrees with Pauler. He's heard the song so many times at ghastly weddings, and this wasn't her best performance. He does think, though, she's one of top 3 best singers in the competition. Ramiele tells Ryan that she changed her song 4 times, because she picked some slow ballads but heard that people would start calling her "Lullaby" instead of "Malubay". Oh geez, she can't worry about crap like THAT. Which is essentially what Ryan tells her. Commercials.

Ryan tells us to go to americanidol.com. No, Ryan, no - I probably will not do that. Kristy Lee Cook tells us that she's a tomboy - she gets dirty, she loves sports, etc. and such. She also loves getting dressed up and girly. Okay. That's pretty noninteresting, but she's cute. Oooh, that's a pretty top she's wearing. She's singing Baby, You're No Good by Linda Ronstadt, and Randy tells her that it was 100% improvement over last week, that he liked the song choice - but that there were no "breakout" moments. Paula agrees that Kristy is "back". Simon says that this week was a huge improvement but that he doesn't know how to label her - he kind of encourages her to go down the country road. Not the "country" road (like the ones in West Virginia, Mountain Mama, take me home, country roads) but the "country" road. You know. Simon says that she has potential. Did Kristy just say she was on FIVE antibiotics for a COLD? Even ONE antibiotic for a cold? Bad, bad doctoring on Idol. Colds are viruses. Anyway, I don't know anything else that was said because flames shot out of my ears and eyes when she said "five antibiotics." I hope she at least finished all of the unnecessary prescriptions - oh, the resistant bacteria that they're breeding in Hollywood. Sigh.

Ryan tells us to brace ourselves, here comes Amanda Overmyer. We probably should brace ourselves. She tells us that other than being a Harley-riding nurse, she also loves to read - particularly biographies of rock icons that she likes. She says that you can't be overeducated and that she'll be the first to recognize that she's not. They show a clip of her reading a book on the music business. She closes by saying that reading is also a great form of entertainment. Yes, yes it is. This girl continues to surprise me - I definitely wouldn't have pegged her as a bookworm. Oh geez, that hair - she looks like she's seen something horrifying that blew her hair back and turned part of it white. Not so good. She's singing Wayward Son by Kansas and I think they're going to call it a safe choice. Let's see. Randy says it's the wrong song choice - he says there's too much melody, and I'm not sure what that means. Also, he says that there are too many instrumental breaks - "I don't want to hear the band play, though they're dope" (RICKY MINER AND THE BAAAAAAND!) "I want to hear you sing." Which makes sense. Paula says that Amanda has some moves and can dance. Paula says for Amanda not to worry about "doing too much Janis" or anything else - that she is a brilliant artist and should just do what fits and feels right. Simon says that he thought that in her pre-performance clip, she came across as very natural and cool - and from then on, everything felt very contrived - from her outfit to the terrible hair. He says he really really really didn't get that. And he says that if she wants the popular vote, she's not going to get it by doing that. Randy chimes in and says for her to keep her bluesy rock. I agree.

Ryan tells us that by downloading on iTunes, we can keep a piece of Alaina Whitaker forever! That's a little creepy! Kind of like Quagmire's fake Lois with the hair from her brush that he has in a closet. Oh, and it's Alaina that's the Pretty Pony Princess this week. So Alaina doesn't like her food to touch, especially when something like liquid from green beans flows into another food - the horror! I wonder what she thinks happens to the food when it goes into her mouth? I wonder if I should tell her about chyme and do a little primer on how digestion works? Probably not. Alaina is singing Hopelessly Devoted To You by Olivia Newton-John. And she's out of her head and has nowhere to hide and all of that. Randy doesn't think it was the right song for her either. He says that even when she belts, she kind of overshot it and went sharp. Paula didn't think it was that bad. Simon says that it's almost as if her grandmother prepared her for this performance - told her what to wear, how to do her hair. He says it was all a bit pageant-y and wasn't current. But he says that he thinks she's one of the dark horses in this competition, that he likes her better now than before. There's discussion about Alaina's Pretty Pony Princess dress and Ryan giggles around the fact that he's not an authority on women's fashion. Oh, RYAN.

Ryan points out the guys, lest we've forgotten about them, and tells us that tomorrow we'll lose two of them. Cackle, cackle. Alexandra Lushington is next - she was the poster child for the Atlanta Fire Department because her dad for them for 6 or 7 years. She sang for events and such, patriotic songs, and she sang an impromptu song at Ground Zero with lots of people around and it was really emotional. I'll bet. I would like to go to Ground Zero sometime - it represents so much. Alexandrea is singing If You Leave Me Now by Chicago, and it's - well, kind of boring. She's wearing this cute layered outfit that I think stands out in a nice way - it actually covers everything. Randy tells her that it was so safe for her, because she has mad vocal skills, and that she should never go the safe route. Paula said that she'd never heard a female take on that song. She also says she's relevant and is important in the competition. Simon says he was a big fan in the early stages of the competition, but he thinks she's struggling. He says that the song has never been covered because it sounds kind of stuck in its time period. He says the performance was boring. Ryan summarizes - they like her, but they didn't like the song for her. But Alexandrea knows the song was right for her. Whaaa? Okay. She says she's the underdog and will hopefully get another chance to prove herself.

Kady Malloy can do Britney, Shakira and Cher (I haven't heard Shakira and Cher - where can I hear those?) but she also does opera. She loves to sing opera in the bathroom because of the great acoustics. She says that when Simon finds out she sings opera he'll probably roll his eyes - then she does a good Simon eyeroll, and a not-so-good Simon impression "You sing opera better than you sing up here." (I'm sure she'll work on it though.) She's singing Magic Man (LOVE) by Heart, and wearing a dress that I like. This song is in that scene from The Virgin Suicides when they first introduce "Tripp Fontaine" and it is absolutely the perfect song for that scene. Anyway - Randy says that it didn't work, that her voice never found the notes. Paula says that when she "powered", she sounded great. And she thinks Kady sings opera quite well. She says that Kady needs to find out the artist that she is. Simon says he's very very frustrated (heh) because everything she does on film - the impressions, the opera - is very good, but then she comes out and almost tries to impersonate Christina by singing at the back of her throat, with a song he's never heard (!!!!!!!!!) They spend a few minutes trying to figure out why she doesn't translate the same way on film and in person. Hrm. It's a sticky wicket.

It's the final performance of the night, and it's Asia'h Epperson. She was a cheerleader in middle and high school (me too!) and she really loved it - the camps and the outfits and getting the crowd into it. (I loved it too - it was some good times.) She makes an analogy between cheerleading and Idol that I actually kind of get. She also apparently likes hoop earrings, because she's always wearing earrings that look like my head could fit through. Well, maybe not, because I have a huge head. But someone with a normal-sized head may be able to. ANYWAY! She's singing All By Myself in an outfit that I don't really understand - but I like her hair extensions. She goofs on one of the earlier notes in the first chorus, but I think it sounds really great otherwise. I'll put her as one of the top two vocals of the night, with Carly. Randy says that he knows Asia'h has been sick, but he thought that she did a nice job with the song (although he acknowledges that she didn't reach Celine level.) Paula agrees that she brought it home. Simon says that you have to be one heck of a singer to pull that song off, and that Asia'h is not. That she almost pulled it off, but not quite - that the song is a little too big for her. Ryan wonders that if she didn't take a risk, would Simon have something negative to say about that too? Simon says that you have to know your limitations, and then banters with Ryan a little by saying that he obviously knows his in his career. Oh BEHAVE.

My top three tonight: Carly Smithson, Brooke White, and Asia'h Epperson. I also liked Amanda Overmyer, Ramiele Malubay, Syesha Mercado and Kady Malloy and don't want them going anywhere. Packing their bags - unfortunately, maybe Syesha, maybe Alexandrea, maybe Kristy. I'm not sure - it depends on how much fanbases they've built up so far. I don't think Alexandrea and Kristy have really shown enough personality to make them memorable and likeable even when they have a "meh" performance. We shall see. Now I'm going to get De-Wayne to find me a nice seashell.

AI7 - Top 12 girls - another liveblog

Ryan tells us that that the worst cold season in history has affected the best 24 singers in Idol history. (Not real sure if this is the worst cold season in history, but that's okay. Ryan probably doesn't know about Influenza 1918.) Randy says stuff about dogs/dawgs. Paula's excited because she heard a little bit of rumblings of rehearsals. And ew, Simon just gave Ryan one of those up-and-down looks. Skeevy. Here we go with the audition/Hollywood recap - and there's nothing really worth writing about here. People crying, laughing, musing about life and what it all means, a handful of "are you serious????"es, and then some girls jump in a pool.

Horton Hears a Who - love Dr. Seuss, love Steve Carrell. Not so much love for Jim Carrey. But since I don't have to see Jim Carrey's face, I might be able to overlook him. Hey, if I could overlook Barbra Streisand in Meet the Fockers, I can overlook anything.

Kristy Lee Cook. She likes to sing and likes horses. Apparently she likes singing better, because she sold her horse to audition in Philedelphia. Aww, I hope she can get him back. She's singing something besides Amazing Grace - it's Rescue Me, and I am thoroughly underwhelmed. She'd better improve soon, or it's bye bye, horsie. Randy says it wasn't her best performance and that she had some pitch problems. Pauler says it's okay that it was rough around the edges, because Kristy Lee is one of the sick ones this week - but Pauler's not done. She advises Kristy not to let that get in the way of what she's emoting - which hopefully, isn't respiratory droplets. Simon says the song didn't suit her, that it's more designed for a "belter", and that her bronchitis isn't winning any sympathy votes from him. Pauler says she'd like to see him do it. Simon says he could. Pauler says, "With HIGH HEELS on??" Do high heels make bronchitis worse? Hmm. Kristy Lee is very cute, though - she could always do America's Next Top Model if this doesn't pan out.

Joanne Borgella is a plus-sized model, and she figures that the judges expected a rough and soulful performance from her, but that's not her style. She wants to touch people's lives the way music has touched her life. Don't we all, Joanne? Don't we all. She's singing I Say a Little Prayer (one of my favorite scenes in My Best Friend's Wedding, BTW). I hear something unique in her voice, and she is beautiful. I like her a lot so far. Randy says the first part was a little weird and blames it on nerves, but says she pulled it out. Paula says that Joanne has a strong sense of herself (Randy translates - "confidence") and Simon says he didn't like it. (Boo. This is one of the 5% of times I disagree with Simon.) Heh, Joanne's parents look like they could kill everybody. Joanne tells Ryan that she's going to go back to her Hollywood self, which she says was "amazing". Well.

Ryan's on the couch with Alaina Whitaker, who is the youngest contestant and has a birthday tomorrow. (I'm having scary flashblacks of Carmen Rasmussen (AI2) and Jasmine Trias (AI3) Alaina, of course, wants to stick around in AI Land for her birthday. Hee - Simon tells her during her audition that she's not as good as she thinks she is, and she says, "Shoot." Alaina is singing More Today Than Yesterday, which someone sang yesterday but I don't remember who. When she finishes, Randy is laughing because "Season 7 is the year of the young ones, man!" And THAT is hilarious. It's funny when people are still young. You know, I think Paula has a little of a quasi-mullet. Paula and her mullet really liked Alaina's ending. Simon says that he thinks she's really good, while he hated the song because he doesn't know what it is. Alaina can't finish a sentence at this point except to say that she's happy. Amanda Overmyer and her skunk-streaked hair are going to rock it out when we come back.

And we're back! Ryan reminds us how the show works - you vote for who you like. Really, is there anybody on the planet who doesn't know how this show works, or can't figure it out if they don't know already? Apparently Amanda Overmyer has been hit by a semi truck. Yikes. Her goal is to solidify the presence of rock & roll. Wow, that's a lofty goal. She's singing Baby Please Don't Go, wearing some cool pants that I wish I could fit into, and doing a good bit of scream-singing. Randy is laughing again - probably thinking about young people again. No, he's amused by her scatting and also likes her "trousers". Pauler loves everything that Amanda does - even that time she got hit by a semi, Paula loved it. Simon says that he really likes Amanda because she's unique. Then he accuses her of forgetting words that weren't there in the first place. Hee. Amanda apologizes to the semi truck driver for pulling out in front of him - ha. She's cute.

Amy Davis is 25 and from Lowell, Indiana. She's a trade model and a grad student, and I think she's wearing a lingerie top in both her audition and the Hollywood round. Perhaps the same lingerie top. She says this experience is like 100 Christmases as a 6-year-old girl all packed into one - well, how intolerant! She should have said, "100 non-specific holidays in December". She's singing Where The Boys Are, and has kind of an old-school quality to her voice - it's pretty good, until the end when she goes a little wacky. Randy didn't think it was great - he says when you scoop up to the note, you've got to hit it. Okay. Pauler says the camera loves her, but that her nerves got the best of her, and she didn't love the song choice. Simon says that she looks great but didn't sound great - the song was boring, the arrangement was boring, and she should have a country twang to make that song work. Apparently she left her country twang in her other pants. Oh well, I liked her anyway - I think she has potential. Amy says she was somewhere between shaky and terrified before coming onstage. Funny, that's how I wake up most mornings.

Brooke White is next - she's a 24-year-old nanny. They show the part of her audition where the judges say they're going to bring her to the dark side, and she says "I dare you" and then she freaks out because she said "I dare you" to Simon Cowell. She's singing So Happy Together (really, did they have 12 songs to pick from?) Dude, Luke Menard really does look like the confusingly-popular Orlando Bloom, SarahK! Good call. I don't know how I missed that last night. Anyway, Randy - the front part of the song wasn't good, but she started slaying the back part. Simon is confused by what "slaying" means. Pauler says that Brooke is original and that she can hear her voice and know that it's Brooke. Well, I don't know about that. Simon says that she chose the right song but that he feels like he's in a commercial for "washing up liquid". Huh? Those crazy Brits. Simon says one shouldn't be sunny, happy and clean all the time. Meaning they shouldn't live in washing-up liquid commercials. I guess that's the moral of the story.

Alexandrea Lushington is next. Aw, they show the part from her audition with her great-grandmother - "Don't make me cry because they're takin' pictures!" Cute. Is she wearing the same outfit from her audition in Hollywood? Maybe she has two of them. Oh, she's starting at the top of the stairs - that's different. And she's singing Spinning Wheel. She's also wearing a cute outfit - much better than the military garb. Randy mentions Blood Sweat and Tears and says that Alexandrea got it. Her parents in the audience are happy about this. Pauler likes that Alexandrea thought about every aspect of the performance - I liked that too. Blake Lewis always did that, which I appreciated, even though he wasn't my favorite. And you know who else always researched and prepared well for performances? Clay Aiken. Claaaaaaaaay! Sorry, it's a reflex. Anyway, Simon manages to say he doesn't like it, is greeted by a Wall of Boos, and finally raises his voice over the complaining and says that is was kareoke or cruise ship or one of those interchangeable insults that he uses that mean the same thing. Alexandrea corrects Simon on the pronounciation of her name. Simon says that he hasn't heard an outstandingly good vocal, other than one girl earlier tonight. Simon is also making a weird gesture with his thumb on the side of his head - is he signalling some British terrorist group to strike all bad singers everywhere?

Ryan reminds us again that we're voting for our favorite girl. Do people still mess that up? I'm baffled. Anyway, it's Kady Malloy, who actually does an pretty good Britney Spears imitation. And she also looks so similar to Alaina Whitaker that I'm going to get them confused. Kady is singing A Groovy Kind of Love, and I'm swaying back and forth, because that's what I do when I hear this song. When Scott hears this song (i.e., on my iPod) he goes, "What the crap is this?" Oh dear, I must have been bored with that performance because I didn't write about it - I wrote about something else while she was singing. That's how I can tell, see. Randy says she should have belted and that the performance was too controlled. Pauler says she looks really pretty, but that we fell in love with her personality - Paula wants to see her life, the fun Kady. Simon agrees with Pauler and says that Kady's performance was like Night of the Living Dead. Simon says that when she's someone else, she's brilliant - when she's herself, she's boring. He doesn't know who could impersonate her, and suggests a pencil. This horrifies Paula and Randy and Randy's all, "Ryan, stop this!" like Simon is preparing to waterboard Kady or something. Anyway, I think the Britney cuteness will carry her through at least one bad performance.

Asia'h Epperson is next, and she's talking about her dad in the pre-performance clip. She says that yes, he totally did die, all of you non-believers. So pffft on you all! She's singing Piece of My Heart, and it's really not just a Janis Joplin impersonation. I like her voice, but I don't like the apostrophe in her name because it's stupid. Randy loves that she brought a little bit of herself to the Janis song. Paula says she had some really good moments. It was Simon's favorite of the night. He says she's fun, likeable, not taking herself too seriously. Well, good for Asia'h. Ryan does a scary grin with a singsongy "Look who's having a good time over there!" pointing at Simon. Creepy McCreeperson.

Ramiele Malubay - a wee little thing with a big voice. I don't remember seeing her audition or her Hollywood performance, but from these clips, she looks very promising. Ramiele is excited to get onstage and show everybody what she can do. Well, one thing she can do is have some bizarre hair. But that's okay. She's singing You Don't Have to Say You Love Me - and I actually didn't like this song, but when I heard her singing the beginning, before I realized what it was, I made a mental note to find it on iTunes. That's a good thing, Ramiele. Randy loved, loved that she started slow and built it up - and then she stuck to the melody without doing a bunch of runs. He says that she's a pro, and classy, and that it was hot. Paula thought it was really great and liked the accents with her head. Simon says he didn't like her when he first saw her, was warming up at Hollywood, and tonight she outsang every other singer. Poor Asia'h only had about 5 minutes of being the best - oh well. Ramiele loves hair and makeup and her shoes. Ryan says he loves the shoes too, and then tries to un-gay that remark by saying, "I mean, they go with your outfit." He did that earlier in the night, too. Ryan, we just really don't care.

Syesha Mercado, 21 years old and from Sarasota who lives in Miami now - she's a working actress there. She lost her voice during Hollywood week and had to write everything. Man, that would be annoying. But on day 4, she pulled it out and wants every performance to be like that from now on. Okay, back to present day. Syesha is singing Tobacco Road, and she sings it bluesy and good. Okay, I like her - they seem to have saved the best girls for last tonight. Randy tells her that he really liked it and that it was consistent. Paula says that it was joyful, fun, and big. Big? Okay, big. Simon says it wasn't her best, best performance, but that it doesn't matter because she's probably one of the most talented girls in the competition. Ryan says, "Does she have the package, Simon?", and Simon says, "Oh my gosh, yes." Good praise from Simon. Paula goofily points out that Syesha has "yes" in her name.

Carly Smithson is last. She tells us that her first record came out when she was 17, and then the record company imploded. Her album is on Amazon and actually has good reviews. I might check her out on iTunes, if she's there. They show a clip where Ryan stupidly asks Carly how important it is for her to make it through. She's like, "Duh, really important." Hee. She's singing The Shadow of Your Smile, and she does a pretty great job, although she needs to enunciate a little better - I couldn't understand the lyrics much. Randy says, "BLAZING HOT!!!" and calls it the best vocal in two days. Paula says that she's the lucky coin in your pocket - reliable. Okay. Simon says he didn't get it - he says there's so much buzz and expectation surrounding Carly, and that the song was too old-fashioned for her. Even her mic technique was cabaret. He says it was a letdown. I really hate when Paula argues with Simon while he's giving his opinion - she always comes across like a 3rd-grader. Shut up, Paula.

In the recap, I'm noticing this scary wide-eyed thing that Kristy Lee Cook did. I'm also noticing that she's just not very good at all, compared to some of the others.

Dang, I liked 6 of them. Here's my favorites from tonight:

• Amanda Overmyer
• Alexandrea Lushington
• Asia'h Epperson
• Ramiele Malubay
• Syesha Mercado
• Carly Smithson

Randy says that the guys were hot, but that the girls were a little hotter. Paula says that you're going to be nervous, but to instead focus on thinking that you're blessed to be in this business. Simon says he can't follow anything Paula says. Simon thinks there are 3 great guys at the moment, and 3-4 great girls. Randy points out that that's not even. Duh.

Eep! Randy has clones on each shoulder - Alaina and Kady. They really do look scarily similar. Give it up for Randy Miner and the band! Good night everybody!