My right foot has been completely asleep for about an hour.

I just felt like sharing.

Postpourri

Dang, y'all. I have been so busy/tired these past couple of weeks. The good news is, I'm finished with Pharmacology (and the miniboard? It was not so bad. If I had studied as hard as I should have, it wouldn't have been bad at all.) I'm finished with Genetics (the 2-hour class that thought it was a 6-hour class.) I'm almost finished with Patient Care (I just have to write a freaking page-and-a-half HPI that I've been putting off and putting off, and do my OSCE - my "observed physical exam" - and that one's done.) So basically, I'm finished with my 2nd year, guys. I can't believe it. I may come back and be all philosophical and wax poetic or something after it's all over - after I take a nap, that is. Oh, and there's still the big, gigantonormous, scary and evil monster that is the USMLE Step One (dum-dum-dummmmmMMMMMM), but shhhhhh. I'm pretending it's not real.

Anyway, I was just going through a batch of Pathology/Pathophysiology questions from Kaplan's QBank, in preparation for my Pathology miniboard on Friday. I also had Facebook open in another window, because, well, you know. I'm easily distracted - and the thing about Facebook is that it must be checked every 7 seconds or so, lest someone's life EXPLODE and you don't know until a minute later. Or maybe someone will post PICTURES. Or leave you a COMMENT. Or CHANGE THEIR STATUS. It's just all very urgent, see. If you're not on the Facebook bandwagon, you should jump on. It's great fun, if you like the "keeping up with the lives of people you know" kind of thing.

I had a page of search results open - I was looking for people who graduated from my undergrad university with a biology degree around the time that I did, because I MUST amass more friends, see. And I ran across this guy in my search results, and I had to screencap him and bring it over here, because - in my endless studying, caffeine-drinking, Vicodin-influenced stupor (hey, I have chronic pancreatitis, which hurts like a mo-fo and flares up in times of stress. What do you want me to do?) the picture looked to me like a bride and groom standing in front of an altar, with their backs to the camera. Instead, it's this:

I have [Dr. Cox] coooooo-mmmmm-pleeeeeETE-ly [/Dr. Cox] lost my mind. It's just gone - gone like, well, something else that is long gone. I forgot what else it was that I was going to say was long gone. Probably my vocabulary.

One more thing - I love these Nine West Liatris shoes so very much. When I go to Macy's, I actually go *visit* them. Someone buy them for me? Please?

Postpourri

As you've probably noticed lately, it seems as if I'm dead. I'm not, however, and I thought I should let y'all know. I've been doing things like taking tests, getting grades back, taking more tests, taking naps, taking tests, taking naps, getting fatter and fatter and uglier and fatter, and taking more tests. Oh, and jumping through the 16 hoops that you have to jump through in order to register for the first part of my board exams - USMLE Step One - which I'm taking in Cincinnati on June 14th.

YIKES, y'all. When I think about it, it kind of wigs me out. So I try not to think about it. Or if I must think about it, I try to remember that like, 94% of people pass it, and that my school's average score is almost exactly the national average, and that my grades are usually a little above my CLASS average, and that I did better than the national average on the microbiology/immunology mini-board that I took in December. So. I'll probably be okay - if it's the Lord's will, of course - and He's pushed and prodded me along thus far, so I have no reason to think He's going to let me fall flat on my face now. By chance, are there any medical students reading (my class or otherwise) who are taking Step One on that day in Cincinnati? Just curious.

Since I've been so scarce lately (although I have been adding some American Idol season 6 mpegs to the AI Downloads folder, slowly but surely) I have been trying to convince my medical school BFF Christy, who is quite witty and hilarious (more than me, actually, so I kind of hate her a little bit) to join my blog as a 2nd author. That way, there'll be more posts and such. And they'll be better than my blathery crap, too. I wanted to mention this convincing that I'm trying to do, thinking that you guys could leave comments for Christy to help me in my task. And I was going to include a lovely picture of her to go with it. However, she - like me - feels fat and ugly (although she's not) so she would only let my camera get this close:

And that arrow that I've drawn to point her out makes it look like she takes up about 3 1/2 states, which she totally doesn't. Finally, when she was worn down from studying for a set of block exams, I managed to get the camera *this* close:

So that's Christy. Somebody convince her to blog with me.

And finally, I have something like 9 days left that I actually have to go to my classroom. Do you know how bizarre that is? During the dark days of anatomy lab during my first semester, it seemed that the basic science years would never end - I kept expecting to fail, but thanks be to God, I haven't yet. And I *still* don't feel like I fit in with my class - I don't get invited to anything that the entire class isn't invited to (not that I'm a huge party animal, but it would still be nice to know that someone wanted me around) - but, that being said, at least there's only two people in my class that seem to hate me. That's 2/54 - not a bad ratio, I guess. Most people are just indifferent to me, I suppose, and don't particularly care if I exist or don't exist. I guess I can understand that, because I consider myself boring and annoying. If you can't tell, I'm having a kind of low night. I'm just so tired.

Randomness

Well, this set of blocks went reasonably well. I got an A in path, a B in pharm, and an unmentionable grade in genetics (which was okay, considering I only read half of the genetics notes (once!) and only went to about half of the lectures. I put it on the back burner this time. You almost have to do that when you're juggling ~23 credit hours' worth of exams.)

Thanks be unto the Lord for all of THAT.

I had a humorous voicemail the other day at the apartment - I had been home for the weekend and was checking my messages on my way back on Sunday, and had three new messages. They were as follows: Christy, Christy, and some woman who was all, "YEAH. So I just wanted to let you KNOW, that I'm having an affair with your HUSBAND, and he can *bleep* so good, and he's mine, so *bleep* you, *BLEEP*!"

Eeek. The problem with that, of course, is that she's talking about my non-existent husband. I felt bad for her, you know, that she mustered up the courage (or maybe drank the courage) to make this confession, and then it gets delivered to the wrong number. That's just too bad. I felt so bad for her that I was going to get her number on my caller ID and call her back to tell her that the joke's on her, I have genital herpes! (KIDDING - I do not have herpes and I wasn't going to tell her that, either.) I was going to tell her that she must be looking for the other Kimberly [insert last name here].

Mom went to Kroger today, and went through this cashier's line who always feels the need to keep up a running commentary on what you're buying. She was buying a baby bottle brush for cleaning hummingbird feeders, and he asked her if she had a daycare. She said no, because - you know, she doesn't have a daycare. He proceeded to tell her that she should volunteer at Kroger's daycare, because they have "grannies" that come in to read to the kids. Poor Mom. Even if she had stark-white hair, a face like Keith Richards and was hobbling on a cane, you STILL don't call a stranger a "grannie". Sheesh.

Coming up next - American Idol Top 12 performance video clips (I'm just about to outsmart my Windows Media Center - but I only half outsmarted it this week - sorry, People Who Performed In The First Half fans) and A Day In My Life, this time with pictures. Wheee!

Postpourri

Well, this afternoon I emerged unscathed from the bowels of the Evil Pharamologic Emperor Zurg (I hope.) NOTE: Sometimes I type bizarre things, like "Evil Pharmacologic Emperor Zurg" to see if someone eventually Googles them and finds the bizarrity-containing post. They usually do.

Tomorrow at noon I have pathology and then patient care (have I started studying for patient care yet, you ask? The answer is no. No, I haven't. I'm still knee-deep in the breast and ovary - which are our pathology topics this test block.) I'm almost to the point of not caring, though. That happens long about midnight the night before a test - I just get too tired to care. I'll do all I can do, and that's all I can do at this point. I can always study more efficiently next time - besides, I did well on our last pathology and patient care block (thanks be unto the Lord!)

I had the Grammys on last night while I crammed drugs into my head (I mean, drug names and uses and adverse effects and such, which is really like learning another language) and I have some thoughts. (They include the Dixie Chicks and how flarking annoying they are. And no, it's not just because they're liberal. I really could compose a manifesto entitled, "Why the Dixie Chicks Make Me Want To Peel Off My Own Skin". But I just don't have that kind of time.) I'll elaborate on the Grammy broadcast later, maybe tomorrow - as soon as I take The Best Nap Ever™, scheduled to begin somewhere around 3:30, after Christy, Michael, Todd and I have our post-block celebratory lunch. Er - pre-dinner, post-lunch. Afternoon snack. Whatever.

I adore the new Blogger, because it lets me add tags to my posts, like "Medical Scruel" (thanks to Rush Limbaugh for the "scruel" thing - it so applies to the "medical" variety. Medical school is tortuous (like the splenic artery) and I can't wait to be finished with it.) I've made some good friends, though, and I ::heart:: them. It can't be said enough.

Al Gore, can you 'splain to me why it's colder than it has been in a decade in this area, and why I had to go buy a space heater for my apartment this winter because my toes literally turn blue from the outside drafts? Hmm? I thought the sun was progressively working on incinerating us all. (Don't wax poetic on the truths of global warming in my comments, please - I'm just not going to believe you, and it will waste both of our time.)

Has anyone seen Mozart and the Whale? I'm thinking of renting it tomorrow, but not if it's crap (like Edmond with William H. Macy and Julia Stiles, which without a doubt is the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life.)

Nicholas Cage always looks like he's about to fall asleep.

And Christy has a cat that barks. For real.

Goodnight, y'all.

Postpourri

I feel that I should write something. But I don't have coherent thoughts at the moment, and I'm not clear on when they'll come back. So I'll just be random.

I did reasonably well on my physiology and histology exams (despite a few ridiculous questions on the latter.) Praise the Lord for that, because I had some pretty debilitating anxiety for a week and a half before the exam (enough time in which to get waaaaaay behind) but I prayed for motivation and a calm spirit, and was able to study pretty well for the three days before the exam, so I'm thankful for my grade(s).

I have a 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said daily calendar, and Sunday's quote amused me - by Roger Ebert, announcing the arrival of Mel Blanc and Jimmy Smits to the Academy Awards ceremony: "Oh, here comes Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny and Jimmy Smits!"

Heh.

I think I've forgotten how to talk to people.

I miss Scott.

Speaking of Scott, we've seen a few movies. We accidentally saw Eight Below (due to a time malfunction on my part) and it turned out to actually be good. I cried about four times - once when they left the dogs, every time a dog died, and then when Scott shushed me for talking too loud. :-) We also saw Failure to Launch, which made me feel better about being ridiculously attached to my family and home. Unfortunately, Sarah Jessica Parker was there and she looks like a horse. But Matthew McConaughey was also there, and he more than cancelled out her horseishness. Oh, another thing - while filming a movie about the 1970 plane crash that killed almost the entire Marshall University football team, Matthew McConaughey is rumored to be staying in a house that is about five blocks from my apartment. Eeeeeeee. But I won't be stalking him - I just don't have that kind of time.

Sometimes medical school feels like the hardest kindergarten ever. Except with people who brag about how drunk they got. And I still don't get that bragging. Remember? I've never been able to make sense of it.

Huh. As it turns out, I wrote a lot in April 2005. If you're bored, you can go read some of it. It's Pauler Abdul! It's centipedes! It's E. coli! It's making molasses in someone's bottom!

One last thing - I uploaded the episode of South Park that spoofed scientology, R. Kelly, John Travolta, and Tom Cruise - and that caused Tom Cruise to flip out more than he normally does. It's in downloads, or you can right-click and "save target as" here.

All right. I'm off to learn stuff.

Postpourri

I always laugh at Scott (and his two engineer friends) for speaking in percentages (i.e., "There's a 75% chance that I'll be finished working in time to go to a 7:00 movie" and that type of thing.)

So he and I went to lunch today after I was finished with class (I've been neglecting him, and I'm trying to quit that) and he told me a good percentage story. He took another postdoc in his lab to the DMV, and when the guy finished and came back outside, he said that his clerk resembled me. "Face, hair, figure - nearly 80%, Scott!" Hee. So, there's an 80% KimClone working at the DMV, y'all. I wonder if she knows more neuroscience than I do? Maybe I can send her in to take my tests. I'm KIDDING! Stop looking at me, Academic Standards Committee.

Oh, and I discovered that when a car is traveling in front of or behind me while I'm listening to my iPod via my Griffin iTrip, said car can pick up my music if they tune their radio to the frequency I'm using. So if you happen to know me personally and you're near me in traffic, tune to 89.5 FM and see what I'm listening to. :-) And don't make fun of me if it's the Backstreet Boys, either.

Postpourri

Just to give credit where credit is due, I totally stole "postpourri" from my old buddy Argillus, who posts various hilarities on TWoP. Like his review of A Clay Aiken Christmas, for instance. Anyway, I'll use "postpourris" for those times when I just have a bunch of random things in my head that I want to say. And don't go expecting segues in posts like this, for there shall be none.

Look, look! It's another one of those traffic-generating programs like BlogClicker and BlogExplosion:

I don't know about this one yet, but both BC and BE are really great for generating traffic.

/ Boring, self-absorbed attempt to get more referrals which will give me more credits. I need all the help I can get!

I'm not sure how I feel about the colony of Pastelicus mouthlessii on that banner. From the neck up, they kind of remind me of multicolored bald men with handlebar mustaches who have their heads on upside down.

I wonder if I'll get a hit from someone searching Google for "multicolored bald men with handlebar mustaches who have their heads on upside down". That would be disturbing.

You'll notice that it looks like someone threw up Amazon links all over the place around here. I link to stuff on Amazon because I get commission, and that and the Google ads up yonder can pay for some of my hosting. You know, since I can't afford a telethon. Just to clarify, because I'd hate to give the impression that I have some kind of weird Amazon fixation.

I greatly dislike the newer Travelocity radio ad. Jellyfish are NOT totally kissable, you crazy gnome. At least he's stopped calling me his yuletide toadstool. Melodically.

I can't believe I forgot that Josh Hartnett is in The Virgin Suicides! Squeeee! And I'm sure that the music picker (or whatever the technical name is) would be THRILLED to know that I think Magic Man by Heart was a perfect song for the scene that introduces Trip Fontaine. Perfect! Also, rawrrr. And also, I just created #162 on my list of Stuff that I Want to Do In My Lifetime - somehow, I'm going to need to get Josh Hartnett to call me a "stone fox". Okay, FINE! It's actually #3, but that makes me sound really shallow.

What on earth are the lyrics to The Look by Roxette talking about?

Fire in the ice
Naked to the t-bone
Is a lover's disguise
Banging on the head drum
Shaking like a mad bull
She's got the look

Uh, "shaking like a mad bull"? Okay. Except, what?

Swaying to the band
Moving like a hammer
She's a miracle man
Loving is the ocean
Kissing is the wet sand
She's got the look

"Kissing is the wet sand"? Does kissing get in your swimsuit and cause unauthorized exfoliation? I don't get the comparison. Crazy Swedes.

I bought The Best of Jimmy Fallon today - I luuuuurve him, but I am outraged that the Celebrity Jeopardy skit where he plays Dave Matthews is missing. Boo! Maybe Dave wouldn't allow it or something. Do they have to get permission from the people they spoof before they can sell the spoof on DVD? If so, then the aforementioned "boo" is directed at Dave. I still adore him, though. Dave, I mean. And Jimmy as well. He's too cute, particulary when he gets tickled at himself.

I still haven't figured out the PHP/MySQL/Apache/Wordpress setup. I am convinced you need two doctoral degrees and an IQ of 195 to be able to do it. Coincidentally, those are also the requirements to be hired as the person who makes sure that there are never two Law & Orders (or Laws & Order?) on at the same time. I know that the coordinator of the L & O programming of NBC, USA, and TNT must be a genius, because Law & Order is always on somewhere, be it Law & Order: SVU, Law & Order: CI, Law & Order: Original, or Law & Order: Extra Crispy, and yet they don't conflict. It's the eighth world wonder. Amazing.

Yesterday, I dropped a recipe box and gave my cat 14 heart attacks. And last night, I dreamed that I was making cornbread and I decided it would be a swell idea to use the dishwasher to cook it. It turns out that it's a stupid idea, and my dream self made a giant mess.

Hello, Ted Kennedy? Shut it. Please.

That song of John Mayer's that goes something like, "Fathers be good to your daughters, blah blah blahblah blah blah blahhhhhh, blah blah blah lovers, something-or-other mothers, blahblahblah blah blah blah blaaaahhhh blah blaaaahhhhhh" makes me want to severely disrupt the integrity of my tympanic membrane. Look here, John. As a general rule, I try to keep talk about my father separate from talk about me being a lov-ah by at least 60-90 minutes. Otherwise it's a little creepy.

I haven't decided how I feel about Sharona's replacement on Monk yet. I'm thinking it will work out well, because it should decrease the amount of time that My Sharona lives in my head. It's a good song, but it's annoying to have in my head because the only lyrics I know are, "wordthatrhymeswith EYE, SHARONA!"

I'm working my way through The O.C. First Season DVDs, and was completely amused by the New Year's episode. One reason is that I am almost sure I saw an extra with a femullet. A femullet! In Newport! If my eyes didn't deceive me, I'm sure it was a particular O.C. mullet - spiked angst in the front, and long, flowing angst in the back.

I think that's all ... yes. Yes, that's all. Goodnight.