Uhhhhhhhhhh ...

I'm having an attack of Post-Exam Aphasia today*. Whenever I use my brain a really lot (i.e., Step exams, miniboards, after the last exam of a block in 2nd year) I seem to be unable to talk to people for awhile afterwards. It's like, I can't think of anything except really simple words, and I'm lucky if I can manage to say them. (For example, this afternoon someone said something about a nap, and I thought for awhile and finally managed, "I like naps!") Does that happen to anyone else? Actually, I remember talking with Christy about this phenomenon after a run of block exams way back in the good ol' days - that is, talking about it in short, simple, awkward sentences - and she admitted to being a fellow aphasiatic (is that a word?) So, I'll rephrase - does that happen to anyone except us?

*I took Step 2 CK (Clinical Knowledge) yesterday. (Incidentally, for those of you who know about "sit-by dates" - yes, I know it's late. But all is well.) For those who don't know what that exam is (a.k.a., "The Lucky Ones"), it's a 9-hour, 352-question exam taken by senior medical students - and it brings me a step closer to having a license to practice medicine. And honestly, I have to say that I'm pretty darn excited about that.

But you know, those in Washington who are having sooper-sekrit meetings to draft the "Let's Really Screw Up the Quality of Healthcare and Everything Else About It Also" bill - they are actually dampening my excitement just a little bit. It's kind of like being really looking forward to a trip to Disney World, and in the meantime someone is trying to completely change everything about it to make it a very inefficient, wildly expensive, socialist version of Disney World. Let's see - yes, that's the comparison I'm going with. Except that I should add the part where people in suits are sitting in the aforementioned sooper-sekrit meeting room, and someone tells them, "You know, the large majority of people really, really, ADAMANTLY don't want Bizarro Socialist Disney World" and the suit-wearers are all, "Who cares what they want! They're not smart enough to know what they want! We will therefore TELL them what they want!" What a big, giant mess. But the bright spot in the middle of that mess - Massachusetts! The majority of the voting people in Massachusetts - I just freaking love you.

And that is all. I'm going to take a nap, because in case you missed it earlier, I like naps.

I'm not dead y'all.

I'm just busily intermittently seeing patients while sometimes doing nothing, and also trying to keep up with my fake medication regimen (more later).

There's much to tell*, but my brain, it has shut down for the night. I just wanted to say hi. I missed you, faithful readers. Let's see, is there anything I can tell you real quick? Oh yes, a little exchange between Scott and me while we were at dinner at Logan's the other night.

Me: So I was supposed to have clinic, but Dr. Psychiatrist-Who-Was-Covering-Student-Clinic was out of town and there was no clinic, so I was just there for consults.
Him: I think it's funny that you say "CON-sults".
Me: What am I supposed to say?
Him: It's con-SULTS.
Me: No it isn't - I've never heard anyone say it that way when they're using it as a noun.
Waiter: Do you need a refill?
Me: Yeah, thanks. (I drink diet cola like a fish. A fat fish.)
Him: That doesn't mean it's right. It's like how everyone says trans-alkyl something, when they're talking about that one thing, and it's really supposed to be blahdeblah and ghosh instead of trans, because of single bonds and something-or-other. (I love him, but I just don't always know what he's talking about - and sometimes I forget the actual words so I have to make them up.)
Me: Oh.
Him: Yeah. Like that.
Me: Well, they say CON-sults on House. And ER. And in real life.

So I looked it up. It turns out that you CAN pronounce it "CON-sult" if you're using it as a noun, but it's the second pronounciation after "con-SULT". Well, that's just stupid. Nobody says it that way. Isn't it sad that Scott and I have settled numerous arguments with a dictionary? We're such giant dorks.

By the way, I PASSED THE FREAKING USMLE STEP ONE! Yaaaaay! More on school stuff later.

*Risk management people or whoever you are, stop looking at me! I'm not going to violate HIPAA, okay? As usual, it's going to be all about meeeeeeee.

Random nostalgia for Arrested Development

Gob is accidentally working a day in his life (as a waiter), and charming up the customers:

G.O.B.: If you didn’t have adult onset diabetes, I wouldn’t mind giving you a little sugar.
Mrs. Van Skoyk: Oh, G.O.B... you could charm the black off a telegram boy.
Voiceover, aka Ron Howard: We'll just tell you now - she's the one who dies.

Ah, Arrested Development. How I miss ye, especially your blatant self-promotion in this S.O.B. (Save Our Bluths) episode. It's a good thing you're on G4, even if it is a confusing station for you to be on.

Also, holy crap on a stick, the USMLE Step One is HARD, y'all. But I am done, done, done!!! Now let's just hope I didn't screw it up TOO badly. I'll elaborate more later, but not so much that the USMLE will send their goons to my house to beat up my entire family (including the kittens who live out back.) The USMLE people are mean like that. They'd probably beat up kittens.

Amusing ringtones and some health issues

We were in a biostatistics/epidemiology lecture for our Step One review course yesterday, and our professor's phone went off (it happens often when the instructor is an M.D.) and his ringtone was Alright by Janet Jackson. BWAH. He said, "Janet Jackson. I live in the 80s." And we all laughed, so he explained to whoever was on the phone, "My ringtone is Alright by Janet Jackson." That was probably the most awesome thing that happened in my life yesterday. (Isn't that sad? Oh my gosh.)

Probably TMI

Oh! And I think I peed out a kidney stone. I've been having some right flank pain and UTI symptoms (the whole burning pain, frequency, urgency, etc.) and the pain kind of moved from my right side to my right lower abdomen, so I diagnosed myself with some sort of ovarian malady. I also felt like I was going to barf for a couple of days (I attributed that to nervous stomach, since I have this giant beast of an exam hanging over my head and getting ever closer.) Then yesterday, I found myself peeing out something that looked like a wee little dark orangish-red Nerd. (You remember Nerds, don't you?) I think I blunted the pain over the past few days because my pancreas has been hurting so I've been taking my trusty Vicodin, but that kidney stone continued to hurt through the Vicodin HP. Wow. Those things must really suck if you don't have a narcotic.

/Probably TMI

And finally, someone made me laugh while I was trying to eat lunch, and my epiglottis malfunctioned and I ended up with cheeseburger lung.

And that's all I've got for now.

Yay! Feedblitz will work!

I've been tinkering with my messed-up RSS feed for awhile now. Since I switched to the new Blogger (erstwhile Blogger beta), my RSS feed has stopped updating. I discovered that it is because, since I publish on my own server instead of Blogger's, that they hate me. Not really. But Blogger hasn't worked out the kinks to get FTP publishers' RSS feeds to update like they're supposed to, and that made my Feedblitz service come to a screeching halt.

So I created another Blogger blog - published on their server - just for Ramble Strip updates. And I called it, creatively, Ramble Strip Updates. When I post something new on THIS blog, I post a link to the new post on the Updates blog (which is the RSS feed that Feedblitz uses now), and then my Feedblitz subscribers get an email that I've updated, with a link to the new post. Yay!

So you can subscribe via Feedblitz now, if you want to know when I've updated. Feedblitz doesn't spam - they will only send you an email when I post something new. There's a button in yonder sidebar if you're interested.

Also, here's a picture of my gloriously dorky class (well, some of the class) and our beloved First Aid for the USMLE Step One books. I ::heart:: these people. There's this kinship when you go through something crappy with other people, you know? And if I don't pass Step One next week (ack! Next week!) and end up in a class that does not include these guys - it will just be wrong.

SarahK wants you to see if you should be gluten-free. And other things.

SarahK, my favorite person with blunted intestinal villi, wants you to know if you should be gluten-free. So go take this quiz, and talk to your doctor if you score high.

/PSA

The other day, while we were in our Step One review course? Someone slapped a cheeseburger (cheese-side down) on Christy's car window. I really don't know what would motivate someone to do that type of thing. I mean, if I have a cheeseburger, it's going in my mouth - not on someone else's plexi-glass. What a waste of some good saturated fat. She could have told you this herself (and it would have been funnier, because she is funnier than I am) but I can't get her to blog with me. She seems focused on this test - this USMLE board exam - most important test of our lives or some such mumbo-jumbo.

So, I finally broke down and bought a pair of MBT (Masai Barefoot Technology) shoes from Bliss. They're supposed to help tone your butt and legs - I'll let you know in about a month if it was a crazy purchase. But I can tell you that they are VERY comfortable - and that they look like orthopedic shoes. If they work, though, it will be worth it.

Scott is finally on Facebook. Yay!

I saw Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - and meh. Waaaaay too long with a convoluted plot. I fell asleep for awhile, and then actually left the theater and walked to Coldstone Creamery nearby to see what time they closed. (I really needed a Cheesecake Fantasy, and I managed to get one after all of the swashbuckling finally ended, with about three minutes to spare.) Johnny Depp, of course, was entertaining and all kinds of pretty - and I still think Captain Jack Sparrow is one of the best movie characters of all time. But in my opinion, the rest of the film fell apart around him. Scott and I are seeing Shrek the Third tonight - I'll let you know how that goes.

Okay, I need to hit the Kaplan QBank. Hard.

I'm afraid I'm a hermit

Super-sekrit note to Christy - this will look familiar because I'm lazy.

I am having such trouble with my stupid panic attacks - they're totally keeping me from going anywhere for the past couple of days, and it's very annoying. Maybe I'll be better after the weekend - I just have trouble adjusting to a new situation (i.e., this class.) I'm printing the powerpoints from my school's USMLE website and hopefully will do okay by reading those and First Aid and doing Kaplan QBank questions. Sometimes I loathe myself.

I just read a mneuomic (which I first typed as pneumonic) in First Aid that amused me. It's for drugs that cause gynecomastia:

Spironolactone, Digitalis, Cimetidine, chronic Alcohol use, estrogens, Ketoconzaole: Some Drugs Create Awesome Knockers.

Hee.

Ugh, back to class

First of all, re: the comments on my last post - y'all are sweeties. *MWAH* And Oliver, no worries. Despite erroneous belief, I have absolutely no interest in married guys as anything other than friends. Thank you for your kind words, though - they put a little bounce in my step. Yours too, Chris - but you already knew that. :-) Also, Oliver, you have the same name as my cat.

So, I finished my 2nd year of medical school. Or, God and I finished my 2nd year. Now I (and God) have to pass the USMLE Step One exam in June, and my medical school offers a review course for us (meaning my class - not God and me. He doesn't need the class.) This great because I lack any and all motivation and have no study structure whatsoever. I would just sit in the midst of my review books, sobbing, and shouting at no one in particular, "Where do I start?? WHERE????" I don't think that's what you'd call a winning strategery (you know I love President Bush, but I also love that non-word.)

The bad thing about the review course is that it's 8AM-4PM (some days are 5PM), every day, until June 6th or somewhere thereabouts. Uuuuuuuugggghhhh. And tomorrow, to make things EXTRA fun, it's at 7:30AM. In general, I don't like to be conscious at 7:30AM. But oh well. My plan is to go to the review lectures, then read on those lecture topics that evening in my review books (BRS series, First Aid, Kaplan - whatever I feel like picking up) and doing the corresponding Kaplan QBank questions. I think I'll be all right. We took a practice Step One exam today, and other than being rusty in some areas (biochem, neuroscience, some anatomy) I think I did fairly well. It was heavy on microbiology, path, and pharm - micro being my bread & butter, and pharm and path being fairly fresh. The Lord has brought me this far, and I don't think He'll drop me now. Knowing that the Creator of all things is with you at all times and cares about your well-being? That's comforting. Especially when you're studying His design in depth. :-)

I had a week off between my mini-boards and this review course, and despite this weird sad feeling that I can't seem to shake (I think it might be because people I know are always doing things, and I'm never invited. I don't know why that is. I guess it could be because I don't drink - but you know, alcoholism on one side of the family and pancreatitis on the other doesn't exactly make me want to run for the EtOH. But it's more likely due to the fact that I'm boring, annoying, and remarkably forgettable. At least most people think that I'm a boring, annoying, and forgettable NICE person - yeah. MOST people. Some are misinformed and instead, think I'm horrible.) Oops, a little digression there. Anyway, I was mildly sad all week, but other than that, it was great. I stayed up late and slept in. I did my toenails. Went shopping. Spent several hours in the sun, working on my melanoma. I changed my hair. Rearranged my bedroom at the house, and gave it a good cleaning (I mean, "dusting the baseboards" kind of clean.) I did a bunch of laundry and bathed two kittens. I took bubble baths and read a bunch of magazines. I got completely engrossed in The Kite Runner (which is fabulous, by the way.) I watched movies and ridiculous exposes on famous people on E!. I took naps. It was great. I can't wait until I can do it again after June 13th!